AllFreeNovel
Share Us
This is why I ran. I didn’t trust myself with them. The power they have over me makes me feel weak and needy. And being handcuffed to the fucking bed while they do whatever they want to me only adds to it. The worst part is that I get off on the helplessness of it all. After everything I've been through and the traumas I've endured, I never would have thought that having someone else take control would feel so freeing. There is even a part of me that likes being manhandled. I don’t want to get hurt, but I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that being pinned down and fucked hard makes my toes curl.
A hand on my throat or a fist in my hair has brought me the kind of bliss that can only come with giving yourself over to someone completely, trusting them not to take things too far. They gave me that. The weird girl who nobody liked got the chance to be free between two of the most unlikely sources. But fucking with my heart and fucking with my body are not the same thing.
“Your turn now, huh? You going to fuck the attitude out of me?” I snap when he doesn’t move.
He stands there, trailing his eyes over my body like a warm caress, igniting the embers that Jagger stoked before him. Slade ignores me as he takes the key to the cuffs from Jagger and sets me free. Before I can scramble off the bed, he scoops me up and carries me to the bathroom. Once inside, I notice he’s filled the tub and added my favorite bubble bath. Gently, he lowers me into it before he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I’m not going to fuck you. Not just yet anyway. I’m going to look after you, and you’re going to let me.”
I huff out a laugh and roll my eyes. “And why would I do that?”
“Because I need to fix what I broke. I hurt you over and over. I know I did. And I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I don’t believe you.”
His hand grips my jaw tightly—not enough to hurt but tight enough that I can’t pull away. “I didn’t want to love you, but you pulled me in anyway. I never knew I needed you until you were gone, and I couldn’t fucking breathe without you. You can be pissed at me all you want. I’m pissed at you too, but it won’t change how I feel about you.”
“You’re pissed at me?” I gasp in surprise.
“You ran away,” he snaps, his other hand splashing down into the water. “You gave up on me.”
My mouth gapes open like a fish out of water. “You’re certifiable. Absolutely fucking crazy.”
“I’m crazy about you. And if you think I’m going to let you leave me again, I’ll show you what crazy really is.”
“Have fun with that. I’m going to bring our bags up and find some food for us all,” Jagger calls from the doorway.
I look at him and glare. “You don’t need to bring your bags in. You’re not staying. Neither of you are.”
“Oh, good. We’ll just pack you a bag then, and when you’re dressed, we can leave.” Slade smiles as Jagger disappears.
“Leave? And where the heck do you think I’m going?”
“Home with us.”
I shake my head. “This is my home. You need to call your doctor and get him to change your meds or something. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m not playing these games with you anymore. You want to fuck me, Slade? Go right ahead. Want me to suck your dick? Just pass me a cushion for my knees. But anything else is off the fucking table.”
He snarls, his hand moving from my jaw to my throat, which he grips as he leans in and nips my mouth with his teeth. “Oh, I’ll fuck your tight pussy and fill it with my cum. Then I’ll fuck that pretty little mouth of yours too. Make you choke on my cock while you drip all over my fingers.”
My pussy spasms at his crude words.
“And after that, I’ll slide into your ass as Jagger slips into your pussy. We’ll take you together, over and over, until all you can think about is having us inside you. But I don’t just want your body, Astrid. I want it all. Every tear, every curse word, every mark you scratch down my back—I want your dark, your light, and all the shadows in between. You can say what you want to me, punish me with your words. Go ahead. I deserve it. But I won’t leave you. I’ll fight for us because I’m not the kind of man who runs away from his problems.”
“Fuck you,” I snarl, knowing that dig was meant for me. “You made it clear what you thought of me. Why the hell wouldn’t I leave?”
“Why the hell wouldn’t you stay and fight? Am I not worth it?” he yells. He releases me and falls back on his ass, cocking his head to the side as he repeats the question. Only this time, there is a sickening realization to his words that—despite my anger—I don’t like hearing. Not one little bit.
“Am I not worth fighting for?”
“Aren’t I?”
He frowns and takes in my face as the shutters fall down over his eyes. If I hadn’t caught the flash of panic, I’d have thought from his blank expression he didn’t care. But now I realize this face is nothing more than a mask.
“Don’t hate me.” It comes out as an order, but his voice cracks, and his pain bleeds through. And god-fucking-dammit, it feels like a knife to the gut.
“I don’t hate you. I hate what we do to each other. What we turn each other into. We’re toxic together.”
“We can start fresh. A blank slate.”
