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She nods absently as her mind drifts to the past. “I had a vision of the school shooting two weeks before it happened. One of my teachers handed me back a paper she had graded, and our fingers touched.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before blowing it out.
“To this day, it’s still one of the most vivid visions I’ve had. I didn’t know why at the time, but I’m starting to think that the visions are clearer when the victim is close.”
“She was one of the victims?” Jagger asks softly.
Astrid nods. “She was one of three teachers killed that day. She told her students to hide while she blocked the door. The lock was broken,” she chokes, reaching out to grip my hand. “She sacrificed herself to buy the others time. I saw the best and worst of people in my vision. When I came back to myself and found the teacher hovering over me with concern written all over her face, I knew I had to say something. I could live with the mocking and the ridicule, but I couldn’t live with their blood on my hands.”
She turns her gaze to the window. “Nobody believed me. Not the teacher, not the principal, not the kids in my class. They thought it was a joke. They listened to my words, but they didn’t hear a damn word I said. I couldn’t make them hear the truth. It was like I was screaming at the top of my lungs but it all fell on deaf ears.”
I use my thumb to draw circles over the back of her hand, keeping her grounded in the here and now as she takes a walk through the nightmares of her past.
“The police didn’t believe me either. So, I decided I needed to be louder, more in their face to make them take notice, to hear me. I vandalized the school, smashed the windows of a police cruiser. But that just made them see me as a problem. They arrested me and threw me in a cell the night before the shooting and left me there. Nobody came for me. As the first shot was fired at school, I started screaming. I screamed until my throat bled, and I lost my voice. Everyone ignored me. And then the phones started ringing,” she whispers, tears slipping down her cheeks.
The phone calls I can only imagine were from the terrified kids trapped in the building with a killer.
“A lot happened after that, but most of it is a blur now. I shut down, just going through the motions. Even when I was arrested as an accomplice, I sat there and did nothing. Then Detective James Allan came out of nowhere. He knelt down in front of me, held my hands, and said, ‘I’ve got you, Astrid.’ And he did.”
She pulls her hand free and wipes her face. “Mandy, my lawyer, eventually came and bailed me out. But it was James who virtually attached himself to my side, keeping the vultures away. My parents flew home, threw money at the issue, and had their PR team spin things. Then they left again. I’m not sure of all the details. I was barely functioning.
“When the charges against me were dropped, I thought things would get better. But people hated me. The whole town did. They took no responsibility for the fact that they ignored me. Instead, they laid the blame at my feet for cursing the town.
“I was attacked more than once. A few times, I needed to stay in the hospital for a while. One day, I just decided enough was enough. I stole a gun from the police officer who was asleep outside my door and left against the doctor’s wishes. I headed home, and when I got to the bridge that separated our town from the rest of the world, I climbed the railing and held the gun to my head. I figured I should join those I had failed to save.”
I jump up, my heart in my throat, vomit swirling in my gut, at the realization that we almost lost her before we had her.
“God, Astrid.” Jagger’s voice is rough and filled with the same emotions I’m feeling.
“Penn saved me that day. I don’t know how he found me or if it was just fate, but he talked me down, and I never thought about giving up like that again.
“When I got home, Mandy was there. She informed me that my parents had been killed in an attack at one of the hospitals they’d been helping out at. They had planned for the possibility, so arrangements had been made, and my orphaned state was hidden from the world. After all, what difference did it make? I’d been alone for years, and Mandy was my guardian, so no one questioned her presence when necessary. The house was sold, and I moved here. Their deaths were kept secret to keep me safe and to keep their obvious neglect quiet. James was the only one, aside from my lawyer, who knew. He kept the secret, knowing I needed a fresh start away from the town that hated me. Being thrown into the foster system, especially for someone who came with the kind of money and problems I did would do way more harm than good. He could have lost his job if anyone found out he knew and did nothing. He also helped suppress any information that came out about me. He stepped in when I had nobody.” She looks at me, wanting me to understand.
I lean forward and kiss her temple.
“Then I’ll be honored to shake the hand of the man who protected my girl.”
* * *
When the gate buzzes an hour later, Astrid jumps to her feet and heads to the door. After Jagger and I managed to break in here with such ease, we upgraded the security measures. But I’d still rather get one of our guys over here to overhaul the whole system.
“Let me get the door, Astrid.”
“You know I’ve managed to open the door all by myself for years, right, Slade?”
“That was before you had me.” I kiss her cheek, and when I see a rental car pull up, I open the door and slide my hand around to rest on my gun.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she huffs as Jagger steps up behind her and tugs her back.
“Keep being mouthy, and I’ll put you over my knee. I don’t give a fuck who’s here to witness it,” he warns her.
“Caveman,” she grumbles as a huge fucking mammoth of a man climbs out of the car.
The guy looks to be in his late forties early fifties, and though his dark hair shows signs of aging with the sprinkling of salt and pepper at his temples, his fit body clearly does not. He walks around the front of the car toward the door, catching sight of me. He gives me the once-over before his eyes fall on Astrid, and a smile spreads across his face.
“Astrid.”
“James!” she squeals before pulling free from Jagger’s hold and running into James’s arms.
He swings her around and places her back on her feet as I growl, not liking the sight of another man’s hands on her.
