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Stomach souring, visions of Lennox Ford in my mind, I coerce myself to pick up a styrofoam plate and load egg whites onto it. For at least something good in my life, I sprinkle them with a bit of cheese, then grab a plastic fork and knife.
Other racers are milling about. I don’t have close relationships with everyone—thanks to my dad—but the few I do speak to who are awake stop to say hello. This early, none of them are up for proper conversation, which is fine, because I’m not either.
When I turn, I see the object of my irritation sauntering up to the tables as if she hasn’t a care in the damn world. The sun has started rising, so a dull orange halo lights the sky behind her as if to slide home the pedestal on which she stands in my life. Everything has always revolved around her, whether or not I want it to.Fucking annoying.I can’t escape her.
With a huff, I trudge away from the buffet of breakfast foods. I’d like to keep my chin held high, but it isn’t in me right now. Knox offers me a cheery, early morning smile. Of course, she looks like the sun shines out of her ass this early. I think I return the smile... I try to return it?
I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve been capable of a genuine smile for a long ass time. My smile must not land because she pauses mid step, concern etched in the way her delicate brows scrunch together.
“Rough morning?” she asks.Is it ever not a rough morning?I guess for her in her perfect little world with her loving, supportive, caring parents, all her championship trophies sitting on her shelves, every morningisa good morning.God, when did I become so cynical?
Stuffing my free hand in the pockets of my sweats to hide how much they crave a bottle, I carve my features into stone, locking up everything I’m dealing with. I won’t give her the satisfaction of knowing something is under my skin.
“Do you want something?” That wasn’t the correct response, but it’s an automatic with her. She blinks at me as her lips part in surprise at first. Her face crumples.
Great. I just can’t help myself. This girl is typically nothing but nice, unless I’m goading her. I give her no reason to be anything but rude to me and still she isn’t. Yet I can’t stop myself from being a dick.
I also can’t stop the way my eyes sweep over her as she tries to figure out what she wants to respond with. I can’t discount her too big, navy blue eyes, or the way her short, dark hair shines, even in the dim sunlight. Or that body… created through athleticism, sheer willpower, and drive.Discipline. Everything she possesses which has always driven me to be better, but her natural talent tips the scales in her favor most of the time.
“I jus—I.”
“Y-you you what?” I mock. She scrunches her face up in disgust and disbelief. Yeah, I’m on roll today.
“You just looked like you maybe needed someone to talk to.” I hate how meek she sounds right now. I’ll be honest, she’s a bit of a pushover, a people pleaser, especially with her family, but when we get started on each other, she normally gives as good as she gets. However, this morning, her walls are down. I’m not sure I like it.
“And you think you’re the one I would talk to?” This draws her jaw shut. Her lips flatten.
“I mean, you don’t have to. I don’t expect you to. But the offer is there,” she rambles. “If someone needs help, then I want to help.”
“You want to help me? Don’t ride terribly like you normally do.” She balks but only takes a split second to recover before she’s crossing her arms over her chest and lifting her chin with defiance.
“Why? Because I’ll beat you if I do?” Her retort has me scowling in silence as I turn and stalk away, leaving her in my rearview and eating my words. I walked right into that one.
CHAPTERFIVE
LENNOX
“Nox,baby, that was an incredible run. You killed it.” Benny jogs over to me when I pull my helmet off. I’ve just gotten off the track from an incredible practice run, and I’m sweaty and my heart is racing, but I’m also on the high of a near perfect practice session. Seeing Benny here, finally at a race weekend with me and not doing something school related, makes my pulse pick up in a different way. He’s so handsome I can barely stand it. I wish I could see him in a place that brings me so much happiness more often.
The fame that racing has brought my family has certainly been a detriment to my life, but I can’t deny how much I love it. The focus and dedication it takes helps ease all the bullshit that happens outside of the track. When I’m on my bike dipping into the corners and accelerating through the straights, nothing else in the world matters. Nothing can.
Placing his hands on either side of my face, Benny pulls me in and kisses me. The spice of his cologne tickles my senses, sending a bolt of desire straight to my core. I usually want him after I’ve been on the track, but he’s never here. It’s fine.
Trying his best to avoid the life his brother chose, the life he used to live, he’s buried himself in school so he can keep his head on straight and his focus where it needs to be. He’s getting a degree in criminal justice so he can help children in communities like the one he grew up in. If he can help even one kid, it will make his career. I’m so proud of him for choosing a different life from his brother. Dank is a good guy, but the danger that surrounds him and the Devils all the time is not something I want to tangle myself in.
“That wasincredible? Benny, are you sure you watched the same practice I took part in? What the fuck lines were those? You were all over the place!” a deep, bass-like voice sounds from a few trailers down before we even see him.Trace. Benny’s best friend and my unofficial arch nemesis, rounds the corner of my trailer to join us beneath the tent that shields us from the sun.
Trace and I go way back to when we were kids, growing up in the same community. He hates me because we were both up for a position at a world renowned training camp, and I stole the position from him fair and square. He’s been a jerk to me ever since. If he wasn’t such an excellent rider and great competition, I wouldn’t put up with his bullshit. Well, that and he and Benny might as well be brothers. But Benny will only let the ribbing between us go so far before he calls us out. Usually, he’s calling Trace out more than me because Trace can take it way too far.
I scoff. “What are you talking about? I didn’t even see you out there—”
“Exactly! You didn’t see anyone but yourself. You were all over the goddamn place.” If possible, Trace’s voice goes deeper the angrier he gets, and it’s clear he’s truly angry today. His wild, dirty blonde hair is sticking to his reddened skin with sweat, flattened by his helmet. I’ll give it to him. He’s hot as sin, especially when he’s on a bike, which is all the time. But his attitude trumps all of it. The guy is a grade-A prick and a pain in my ass.
“Right. Keep telling yourself that. You don’t know how to make a proper pass and that isn’t ameproblem, it’s ayouproblem.”
Trace runs a tanned hand through his wet mop of hair, causing it to stick out in a bunch of directions. His sharp blue eyes burn with indignation. “A proper pass? Trust me, Fort Knox, I know how to make a proper fucking pass.” His mention of the nickname he uses for me has annoyance flaring within my chest, snaking under my skin. I always let this asshole get to me. He crawls under my skin, and I can never keep my frustration from showing. He never fails to get a rise out of me.
Trace knows this as well.
