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“Yes!” I thrust my hands through my hair. “I do have some idea because I’ve been living it, too. I screwed up. I screwed up when I was turning twenty-one and broken-hearted and not knowing what’d happen with a little love potion I put together when I was under the influence of something powerful. Not knowing that the fall-out would affect not only my life but his, too. I’ve paid, believe me I’ve paid. I sat in a prison cell on my twenty-first birthday because of it, stood trial for it, and I’ve been extensively punished for it and couldn’t do a damn thing about it until now. So now I’m here. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere until I talk to Riley and do my best to explain what’s happened and how I’ve tried to- ” I shake my head. “I can’t say anymore. I’ve said too much. Was it enough to buy me a shower? Please? If not, can I take a hooker bath in that bathroom?”
“Yeah,” Cicely rasps out, her voice thick with emotion, like she feels my pain or something. Ivy and Amelia’s faces mirror hers. “Around the back and upstairs. It’s not locked.”
“Thank you,” I rasp as I gather up the things I’ve bought.
“I’ll give you a hand,” Ivy offers, grabbing a water jug.
“Me, too,” Amelia says taking the other one. “But once again, it’ll cost you something.”
I tilt my head to the side in question.
“After your shower, let us take you to breakfast at Roxy’s.”
“That’s probably not a good idea, Amelia,” I reply, hoping she reads the gratitude in my eyes.
“It’s probably a great idea,” Amelia corrects. “Seems like you could use some friends. And a big ole order of crepes or waffles or something.”
Ivy nods. “Definitely a carb moment.”
I bite my lip in contemplation.
“We’ll talk to Lincoln for you. And we’re not gonna push you to talk before you’re ready,” Amelia states, “But we have some stuff in common, I think. These Arcana Falls shifters, they…” She seems to go into a mini daze. A smile creeps across her face. I think she’s probably remembering when her journey with Mason started, which wasn’t long ago.
“They’re a lot,” Ivy puts in.
“Yeah,” Amelia nods. “To put it mildly. Mason and I met right outside this place. And he carried me away kicking and screaming.”
If only Riley did the same with me.
She goes on, “I maced him. But it didn’t deter him. I tried to be a raging bitch and he didn’t give up.”
My stomach twists.
She keeps going. “I was so determined to not let him get in. I was a walking disaster because of pain and trauma with relationships. I know it’s probably different for you, but when you’re going through something major, you need people to lean on. And you and your sisters helped me out big time. So did some of the women in this pack, and I’m a pay-it-forward type.”
I blow out a slow breath and nod. “Breakfast sounds… good.”
“You?” Ivy asks Cicely. “Can you get away for a bit? That’s why we came in – to invite you to breakfast.”
“Yeah,” Cicely says quietly.
The Brennan sisters are freshly mated, so they probably think I’m going to be part of the pack like they are. That I’m about to be initiated into the club they’ve recently joined.
But that’s not a given. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s not even possible.
I don’t need a welcoming committee right now; I need to talk to Riley. And once he tells me how unforgiveable what I’ve done is, how much he loathes me, I’ll tell him he can request a severing. Just the thought of that hurts. Though, I know it’s what’s coming after the way he looked at me last night.
When he severs our connection, he’ll be free of the pain of ending things with me. But I’ll never be free of the feelings I have. Not ever. I could magic my way out of it, but I’m saving that card for someone else. Someone who does deserve it.
My sisters can help with the severing, but they can’t help me through this, not in person anyway. They’re not allowed to use magic to interfere. All they can do is let me bend their ears, though that’s not my style. Never has been. As the baby of the family, as the one who was last to know everything, I’ve always been fiercely independent and tried to solve all my problems on my own, tried to prove I was just as capable as everybody else. And it was my pride, stubbornness, and carelessness that thrust me and Riley into this situation in the first place.
***
Cicely’s apartment above the store is adorable. And surprising. It’s more girlie girl than I’d have expected. It’s a bit reminiscent of the inside of the I Dream of Jeannie lamp; a big room done in pastels, a pale pink sectional couch filled with purple and champagne-colored pillows on one end, a rice paper divider and then a bedroom space with a double bed covered by plush bedding and dozens of pillows in a variety of shapes and sizes.
