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“I forced it to happen early, Riley. It wasn’t time.”
“But did they have to make us wait seven years? Did they need to deliver that harsh of a punishment? Could they have found some other way to get their point across without putting you through torture? Without me being left to mourn you when you weren’t dead? Leaving me to blame myself thinking I’d scared you off that cliff?”
She blows out a long breath.
“Woman, I couldn’t do anything about it then. But I can do something now. So I’m gonna do what I can do to fix this for us. Because it’s my job. My job and my honor, mate, because I’m supposed to keep you safe. In here, too.” I lay a palm on her chest. “You suffered for seven fuckin’ years and I could’ve been there to fix it, but I wasn’t.”
“That doesn’t make sense, Riley.”
“Nope,” I reply.
“You couldn’t have stopped it.” She pleads with me to believe her.
So I do the same. “I don’t see how you could’ve stopped it either if it was meant to go this way or if powers higher up than you deemed it be this way. So how about we do what we can do? Take care of one another going from here. Yeah? You were made for me. I was made for you. We fit. We just haven’t gotten the chance to let it be how it’s meant to be.”
“But… you were so mad at me.”
“I was. I was furious. But I didn’t have all the facts. And I’m still angry. At a lot of things. The last few days I’ve been most angry at myself.”
She looks confused.
“Time to fix that. Time to work on us.”
“Us?”
“Us,” I confirm.
She shivers. “You have to request a severing.”
“What?”
“I’ve been so sad for so long Riley. I don’t know how to not be sad. I’m probably too broken at this point, so it might be best that you request a severing and then move on.”
“Me move on and leave you wallowing in pain when I could fix it?” I volley.
“I don’t know if you could fix it.” She tries to move away.
I stop her, holding her face with both hands. “When I not only get to fix it, when I get to have you? Don’t think I can fix it? Watch me.”
“I don’t know how you could forgive me. I also don’t think I can forgive me.”
“Think you could have it in you to forgive me for completely malfunctioning when you came here to make it right?”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“See? You’ve already done it. Now I’ll help you forgive yourself. But gotta say, I’m gutted over what I did, how I acted. After all you went through you then have to deal with that shit?”
“It was normal. You were shocked. Then you thought I betrayed you on purpose.” She shrugs.
“And then your pain leaked all over me, little witch, and fuck did it hurt.”
She looks about to crumble. I pull her close. She presses her forehead into my chest.
I purr for a minute for her and she sniffles, sinking deeper into me.
“I feel your feelings. When you’re sad. When you’re excited. When you’re torn about something. You got here with a fuck-ton of emotions and they came at me like a hurricane. I soaked it in, Rik. Yeah, it fucked with me. Badly. Feeling all you were feeling is what’s fucked with me the most out of all of this.”
“I’m sorry, Riley.”
“Stop apologizing. I’m done hearing it. I don’t need it. Okay?”
She nods and looks into my eyes.
“Then that fucker takes you and you have to watch me end him… making you fear me, fear my wolf?” I grind my teeth. “Never killed another shifter, a human either. But something snapped when he took you, when I saw you bound and afraid. Then to make it worse, I take you and mate you that way? Rough like that? After I took you and mated you that way, my psyche splitting in two… my knot holdin’ on because my body knew even if I couldn’t get my head together that we belong together? Then jumpin’ ahead to being in time out for that time and seeing you through my wolf’s eyes, seeing you a little more relaxed, having time to think things through and un-fuck my head? But then you were again in danger due to my fuckin’ negligence, I finally snapped out of it because above everything, you’re here. You’re alive. That’s what matters. You’re here, you’re mine, and you want me. And I don’t wanna lose you again. Correction: I won’t lose you. There’s nothing in the way anymore if I can get my head outta my ass. I get to have what I’ve been fuckin’ aching to have for seven years. My head’s out and it’s staying out. I’m sorry, baby. So fuckin’ sorry for leavin’ you in a parking lot vulnerable. And… I’m sorry about something else, too.”
