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I remain silent as West carries me down the hallway and into the living room. He stays silent too, but I can tell he’s nervous by his erratic breathing. I want to know why he’s nervous, if he heard anything that guy said to me. Or maybe he’s freaked out because I tried to choke the guy.
Oh my god, I tried to kill someone!
I want to make excuses for myself, but the truth is, ever since my parents died, a bit of a violent streak surfaced inside me. Sure, I’ve never tried to kill anyone before, but I’ve definitely done my fair share of punching. Was that all a build up to an explosion? Am I some sort of monster?
A faint memory tickles the back of my mind, one I didn’t even know existed.
“Alexis, I need to tell you something,” my mom whispers into my ear.
I can’t see her, only hear her, as I lie in my bed with my eyes shut. I’m angry at her because she got upset with me for yelling at my brother. He had stolen my toy and I got so mad at him I yelled, which was strange. I rarely yell. I’m actually a pretty quiet girl except for on a few occasions where I lose control. I don’t know why I feel this way sometimes—possessed by anger. Sometimes I worry I’m broken. And it doesn’t help that sometimes my mom looks at me like I am a monster, like she did today.
“What?” I mumble, refusing to open my eyes. Even though I don’t want to admit it, her looking at me like I was a monster made me worry that my fears are actually truths. And it hurt me deeply.
Her hand touches my back, but I refuse to open my eyes. “I know you’re mad at me, but I need you to understand that I’m just worried.”
“Yeah, I know,” I mutter. “You’re worried I’m a monster.”
“No, that’s not it at all.” Honesty rings in her tone. “I’m worried one day the monsters will come after you if they ever find you.”
My eyelids open, but I don’t roll over to look at her. “What do you mean?”
She sighs heavily. “I just want you to be careful. No matter what happens, be careful. And stay away from any monsters. They could easily taint you with their poison.” Her hand left my back.
A moment later I roll over, only to find her gone. And I’m left wondering if I’d dreamt the entire thing. After all, why would my mom warn me of monsters when monsters didn’t exist?
I blink back to reality as West gently sets me down onto the sofa.
But what if my mom wasn’t talking about actual monsters? What if she meant it metaphorically? And that talk about poison…
“West, did you hear anything that guy said to me?” I ask as he tucks a pillow underneath my head.
He swallows hard and then nods. “I heard the end of it as I was waking up.”
“Did he… Am I…” I can’t even get the words out so I focus on another question. “How was that guy so strong?”
West stares down at me, letting his fingertips trace along my hairline. “He was probably drugged up.”
My hands burn from holding onto the chain so tightly and I curl my fingers inward. “By what?”
He sinks down onto the edge of the sofa with a wary look on his face. “This world that me, Steel, and Ellis live in is tainted by drugs. And not just your average street drugs. Powerful, deadly drugs that most people haven’t heard of.”
“And that guy was on one of those drugs?”
He nods, resting a hand beside my head. “He must have somehow taken them without us knowing, because he wasn’t even close to being that strong when I brought him here.”
“I can’t believe there’s a drug that can make someone that strong.” And that I managed to take that guy on. I shiver, unsure if I’m more scared of the drug or myself.
“There’s worse out there.” He rests his other hand next to the side of my head and leans over me. “We’ve done a lot of jobs where we tried to shut down the facilities that create these drugs, but as quickly as we get them shut down, three more are already created. It’s a vicious cycle that sadly we have no control over.”
“Why would anyone want to take those drugs, though, unless they were like fighting professionally or something.”
“There’s a lot more reasons than just that.” He pauses, seeming undecided about something. “One being to carry through with assassinations.”
My eyes widen. “You think that guy’s an assassin. But who would he be assassinating…” I suddenly remember how the guy screamed, must destroy, as he ran at me. “Was he trying to kill me?”
Worry flashes across his expression. “I don’t know yet.”
“Why would he want to kill me?” I whisper, feeling as though the life I once knew is crumbling apart. Maybe it didn’t even exist in the first place.”
“I don’t know,” he says. “But I promise you we’ll figure it out.”
I press my lips together, fighting back the tears that want to spill out of my eyes. I’ve never been a crier and I’m not about to start now. “He said the drugs he put inside me are going to eventually kill me. He called it the kiss of evil or something like that.”
“I know. I heard.” West smooths my hair out of my eyes, a crease forming between his brows.
I fight back the urge to let my eyelashes flutter. “Did you already know that?”
“No. When Ellis ran the blood work, your system showed devil’s poison in you, which is a strong tranquilizer. So strong in fact that sometimes it can stop other drugs from showing up in a person’s system until it’s too late.”
“So he put devil’s poison in me to hide this kiss of evil stuff.” Maybe that’s why I’ve been overheating so much.
He wavers. “Possibly.”
My lungs begin to constrict but I still refuse to cry. “Am I going to die? Because I’ve felt strange since the moment I woke up.”
West hastily shakes his head. “No, you’re going to be fine. And it’s normal to feel strange after being tranquilized.”
“But the guy said that drug would kill me.”
“But there’s an antidote for it.”
I perk up slightly. “You have it?”
His gaze burns fiercely. “No, but I’m going to get it.”
/> I nod, but worry stirs inside me. “Do you think… Do you think that’s why I was able to take that guy down… Because I have these drugs in my system?”
“It could be.” But he seems doubtful, as if he’s hiding something from me.
“You’re lying to me about something,” I say, searching his eyes for the truth.
“I’m not lying about anything,” he tells me. “But I’m not telling you everything either.”
Anger flickers inside my chest. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to worry you unless I have to.”
“I’m already worried.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be.” He cups my cheek and carries my gaze firmly. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
I want to ask him if he’s doing this because of his job or if he really does care about me. I think back to those moments in the car where he touched me.
As if sensing my thoughts, he leans in, as if to kiss me. But at the very last second, he moves to the side and presses his lips against the side of my neck. Then he begins sucking while gently grazing his teeth along my skin.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he whispers and then bites at my skin again. “No matter what happens. I swear to God, I’ll let myself die first.”
Another bite against my neck sends my back bowing upward and a whimper falters from my lips. West groans, slipping his hand behind my back. Then he presses me closer while making a path of kisses up my neck to my jawline, pausing only when he nears my lips. He slants back slightly to meet my gaze, a heated look blazing in his eyes.
Confusion swarms my mind as I stare up at him. This is West, my frenemy, the guy who I’ve spent hours bickering with. He’s friends with the guy I thought I was in love with. Yet I want to kiss him. Badly. Perhaps the need is stemming from shock. Perhaps I’ve lost my damn mind. Whatever the reason, I remain still, waiting.
His tongue slips out of his mouth, wetting his lips, then he leans in. Closer, closer, closer. When our lips brush, my body trembles. I’d be embarrassed but West seems a bit shaky himself.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he whispers against my mouth. “Fuck, I’ve wanted this.”
