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Monster sighs. We’ve been friends fer years, and he knows me better than most of the other brothers. Once I’ve made up my mind, there’s no changin’ it.
“I’m tryin’ta be the good guy here,” I inform my best friend. “She’s too good fer me. There are things I’m not proud of in my past. If I were ta fall fer someone, if I were ta take an old lady, I’d have ta tell her all the shite I did.”
“The shite ye did fer yer Da,” Monster argues. “Any good son would do the same. And that’s what ye are and will always be. Yer ma believes it as well, I don’t know why ye don’t.”
He’s the only one who knows the true extent of the work I did fer my da. He dragged me into the life when I was just fifteen. I wasn’t officially a part of the mafia, but I still went on jobs with him, and I didn’t turn back from the violence. Even at that age, I did what I had ta do without question.
“I know who I am, and what I’ve done. Ye may not see it, Monster, but I’m not a good person.”
He shakes his head. “Ye’re bein’ a feckin’ martyr, Rebel,” he tells me as he pins me with a look that says he’ll never believe I’m anythin’ other than a good person.
I wish I could see what he does.
“I’m headin’ out,” I announce as I turn and walk towards the door.
Even as I pass the table where she’s sittin’, I don’t look. I force myself to ignore the beautiful wee thing that’s starin’ at me like I hung the feckin’ moon in the sky and lit all the stars on fire.
“Ye need ta grow a pair,” Racer says when he joins me outside.
Instead of replyin’, I light a smoke and pull in a long, deep drag. The nicotine hits my system instantly, calmin’ the racin’ heart that’s beatin’ a rhythm in my chest.
He’s right. I do. But not tonight. Fer now, I’m goin’ta ignore the idea that some beauty could ever want me around fer longer than one night. I don’t do relationships. They’re dangerous. The longer ye stick around, the more it hurts when it’s over.
“Are ye comin’ with me or not?” I throw back, not even attemptin’ to reply to his feckin’ comment.
I don’t need to get into it with him as well. It’s enough that Monster’s on my back about this girl.
“Aye,” Racer tells me, but he’s watchin’ me with intrigue in his eyes. “Are ye really goin’ta go out and fuck some random when ye have a pretty wee thing in there achin’ fer a taste of a big, bad boy biker?”
“Feck off.” I drop the cigarette on the ground and stomp it out with my boot. “Let’s go.”
“Can I come out with ye?” An angelic voice comes from behind us as we head ta the bikes.
I know it’s her. There’s a melodic tone to her voice, and it settles in my chest, heavy and unyielding. She’s not goin’ta let me escape. I want so much ta walk away and not look at her, but a basic instinct has me turnin’ around ta stare into those pretty eyes.
“Ye think ye’re old enough, youngen?” Racer chuckles as he stops in front of her.
He’s much taller than Callia, towerin’ over her as if she were nothin’ more than a pixie.
“I’ve been through more in my life than most have,” she bites back, foldin’ her arms across her chest.
Her fire is beautiful. It burns in in her eyes as if she ain’t afraid of anythin’. But the thing about people who act tough is they behave that way because they’ve been forced to build walls ta hide behind. And that only makes them more fearful than most.
“Ye’re not comin’ with us,” I tell her when I finally pluck up the courage ta look at her. “Ye’re meant ta stay here. Where ye’re safe. Don’t think ye’re goin’ta start goin’ out on the town every night while ye’re livin’ with the club. If danger is what ye’re lookin’ fer, ye’re welcome ta go back ta Dublin.”
Fer a moment I think she’s goin’ta argue with me. But instead, she sighs. “I just don’t know anyone here, and if I stay in the club, I’ll panic.”
“Panic?” Racer questions as he places his index finger under her chin and tips her head back. “What do ye mean?”
“Well…” Her voice breaks, and I watch her swallow down what I can only assume is fear. “I don’t like bein’ around people I don’t know. It’s strange, but ye’re the ones who got me out of a dangerous situation, and I feel safe with ye. I’m just worried because if ye’re both not here, I don’t know anyone else.”
