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I don’t want ta scare her away. She’s got the reins when it comes ta my wee lassie, and I don’t want ta risk losin’ contact with Aine .
“I didn’t mean ta hurt ye,” she sobs.
I feel the same darkness takin’ hold of me as I did with that bastard Bragan when I finally got my vengeance. But with Orla, it’s different. I don’t want ta make her pay fer what she’s done. I don’t want revenge, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able ta forgive her.
TEN
REBEL
“Didn’t mean ta hurt me? Ye’re havin’ a feckin’ laugh, aren’t ye?”
My words are filled with tension, and I can’t bring myself ta look at her. Instead, my focus is on the view from the garden. I pull out my smokes and light one with a deep inhale of the nicotine my body craves in this moment.
Orla wasn’t the love of my life, and I realised it not long after she left. It didn’t break me the way Callia leavin’ me would. It wasn’t love, and deep down, I think I knew it even then.
“I found out I was pregnant after I broke up with ye. All I knew was that yer da had died, and ye were on a rampage. I didn’t want ta add ta yer hurt.” Her voice seems far away as she speaks. “I was scared, and mostly alone until I met Paul.”
This time I turn to look at her. “Aye, and then ye married him. I thought ye were happy with him, and you’d moved on.”
She nods. “I was. Things were good until Aine was born, then he changed. He became distant. I think it’s because she looks so much like you. Maybe havin’ ta raise another man’s child didn’t make him feel good about himself. I don’t know the reasons, but things between us changed.”
“Did he hurt her?” The words are out of my mouth before I can consider them. The idea that he even harmed a hair on my daughter’s head doesn’t sit well with me at all.
Orla shakes her head. “No. He didn’t even look at her. She was a ghost in the house, ta him at least. He wouldn’t talk ta her, which in hindsight was a good thing. Because all his anger was directed at me.”
My hands fist at my sides. Violence rages through me, racin’ through every vein in my body. I want ta make this bastard pay fer hurtin’ Orla, not because I care fer her, but because no man should put his hands on a woman. I can’t see any lingerin’ scars, which calms me, somewhat, but I’m ready fer a fight.
“I need ye ta take her fer a wee while,” Orla says suddenly. “There are a few things I need ta sort out, and I’m worried she’ll get caught in the crossfire.”
“What sort of things, Orla?” My mind is racin’ at the moment. I can’t forgive her fer keepin’ me from my daughter, but that doesn’t stop me from wantin’ ta kill the bastard who hurt a woman fer no reason.
When I think about Callia comin’ ta me and tellin’ me she’s pregnant with our child, my chest fills with happiness. But how would I feel if another man was the father? Aye, it can’t be easy raisin’ a kid that’s not yer own, but children are innocent from the sins of their parents. They can’t be blamed fer shite their ma and da have done.
“Please,” she begs as she looks up at me once more, and this time, I can read the emotion in her eyes—fear.
She’s gotten herself into somethin’ and she’s not goin’ta tell me what the feckin’ hell it is. I want ta shake her and force her ta tell me. I want to offer my help, but I know Orla’s stubborn. She won’t give me any answers yet, and if I fight with her, it could push her away.
“Fine. How long do ye need?” I ask, hopin’ it’ll give me an idea of what she’s goin’ta do. I pray she slips up and tells me somethin’, anythin’.
“A week at the most.” She pushes ta her feet. “Once I get everythin’ sorted, I can collect her, and we can leave Ireland fer good. I’ll never bother ye again. I didn’t come here ta ask fer money, or anythin’ like that. She may be yours, but I’m not tryin’ ta trap ye.”
“I didn’t think ye were,” I tell her, my brows creasin’ as I look at her pained expression. “Why would ye even think that? I’m angry with ye because ye waited this long ta tell me I have a youngen.”
This time, she gives me a small smile. Her eyes fill with tears, and she shakes her head.
“I thought about comin’ to ye so many times, but I was scared,” she responds. ”Ye know what it’s like fer women. We’re judged on everythin’ we do. Knowin’ I was havin’ a baby without the da around, I would have been ostracised by my family. That’s when Paul came into my life, and I had a choice ta make. But then…”
