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I don’t give a shite what happens ta them now. It’s time I went back ta my daughter and the woman I love.
“Are ye okay, Rebel?” Racer asks, as he, Monster, and Hades all flank me.
They’re watchin’ me closely as we make our way back out ta the bikes.
“Aye,” I say, stoppin’ beside mine and lookin’ at each of the men who came here with me. “I needed ta see that fer myself.”
“Ye know that ye have our support with Aine, and ye both can stay at the house fer as long as ye need. I have a feelin’ though that ye and Callia will want yer own space soon,” Monster tells me with a nod. “Ye know what Orla did and said to ye, none of it’s yer fault.”
“I know, I’m just angry. How can she walk away from her daughter? It makes no sense ta me. I’ve only known Aine fer a few days, but already I’ll gladly kill fer her. She’s my blood. I can’t imagine ever turnin’ my back on her.”
Then I think of Callia, whose father walked out on her when she was a baby. He killed her mother, and he didn’t give a shite about where Callia ended up. She could have been hurt, kidnapped, or worse, and he wouldn’t have cared.
“I don’t get it either,” Racer tells me. “I mean, my ma and da weren’t rich. They didn’t have much, but they loved me. I was the one who chose this life. And even then, they still wanted me around.”
“Some people shouldn’t be parents,” Hades adds. “I’m sorry, but it’s true. There are so many women out there who are strugglin’ and want a baby, and there are those, like Orla, who’ve been granted the privilege, and they don’t give a shite about it.”
I’m still in shock when we start the bikes and make our way home. I’m goin’ta have ta ask Callia what ta say ta Aine. I don’t know how it’s goin’ta affect my wee girl, and not just now, but in a few years, when she can fully understand what’s happened. As much as I want ta lie and tell her that her ma is dead, I know I can’t.
Orla has forced me into situations before where I had ta lie to others, lie ta myself. I won’t do it anymore. I’ll talk ta Callia first, then sit down with Aine. I have ta be strong fer my daughter now.
As the road opens and we speed up, my mind is on how truly bad Orla was fer me. I didn’t see it back then, because I was focused on the sex and on the lifestyle I was livin’. But she was never a good person. She’d lie and cheat and didn’t care who got hurt. I overlooked so many things when it came ta her. Perhaps she was my first love, I don’t know anymore, but she’s definitely not someone I’d want my daughter growin’ up around.
It’s close ta seven by the time we pull into the clubhouse grounds. I kill the engine of my bike and pull off my helmet. The sun has set on the horizon, leavin’ the sky a midnight blue with the stars twinklin’ against the dark background. I’ve been away fer almost two days, and I’m missin’ both my girls.
Swingin’ my legs over the bike, I head ta Monster who’s waitin’ on me.
“Thanks fer ye help yesterday,” I tell him.
I know I don’t have to say it, but he has ta know it means a lot ta me. I don’t have my da fer support anymore, but this makeshift family I’ve found has given me more than I ever expected.
“No bother,” he tells me as Racer and Hades join us. “Ye know we’re always here fer ye. In this family, nobody is alone.”
I know that, but I’m still gettin’ used ta it.
Noddin’, I say, “I’m goin’ta see Callia and Aine. I have ta sit them both down and talk ta them. I’m not sure how ta tell my daughter she’s no longer got her ma.”
Hades sighs. “Well, you could ask Rev fer help. He’ll know what ta say better than any of us.”
“Aye,” I agree with a nod.
Rev is Hades’ twin brother. The two of them have followed very different paths, and I know they both have their own demons resultin’ from their sordid pasts. It’s never easy ta fight dark thoughts, but the only way ta do it is by lookin’ forward, workin’ to a better future.
I leave them outside smokin’ while I head inside. I’m lookin’ forward ta seein’ Callia and Aine, but I’m dreadin’ havin’ ta be honest about what I’ve learned. If there’s one lesson I want ta teach my daughter, though, it’s ta tell the truth at all times, even if it hurts.
