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She stares at me for a long moment. "You don't think there are more convenient lays than a woman on a remote farm planet?"
"You tell me." I lift my chin, determined not to cry. "I tell you I love you and you never say it back. I invite you to my place and you tell me you can't stay. We make love and you tell me that your schedule is changing and you don't know when we'll be able to get together again. Then I come into town and I hear that the company you work for folded and you're not delivering here anymore. What am I supposed to think?"
Haina's quiet for a long moment. "When you put it that way, it does sound pretty awful." She strokes my fingertips, avoiding the wounds on my palm that I don't even feel. "I wonder why you wouldn't have more faith in me than that, though."
"Because you're so perfect," I choke out, my heart hurting. "You're bright and happy and wonderful and too good to be true, and I'm just…me."
Haina looks up from my hand and frowns. "Are you kidding me, Ali? You're the sweetest, most caring person I've ever met. You listen to everything I say, even if I'm just rattling on about my day. You go out of your way to include me in your life and make me comfortable. You're smart and funny and you can take care of yourself. You've got the prettiest hair and the softest skin and you look at me as if I'm someone incredible, not just common station trash trying to scrape a living together. Why wouldn't I fall for you?"
Oh. I blink back the tears that threaten. "Then tell me what's going on. Explain to me so I'll understand why you never tell me you love me. Explain to me why you've been hiding the news about your job."
"I haven't told you about my job because I'm ashamed. I've known it was ending for six months now, but I haven't been able to rustle up another route that comes near this planet. Station trash, remember?" She gives me a wry smile. "No one wants to hire that kind of person. And if I haven't told you I love you, it's because mesakkah don't use that kind of wording. We prefer to show how we feel to our mates."
I swallow hard. Is she calling me her mate…?
Haina reaches into her pocket and holds out a tiny box. "I'm late today because I was turning in my ship. And I'm late because this was finally ready. There's a vendor on a station a few hops away that has a human mate and she told me about human courting customs and that these things are important. So I got this for you. Open it."
I raise my hand, still covered in blood, and then grimace. "You do it for me."
"Right. Of course." For the first time, Haina looks a little flustered. She opens the box and shows me the inside. A metal band, small enough for a human finger, is nestled inside on a bit of fabric. "These are important, right?" she asks. "I spent more than I probably should have considering I don't have a job, but I wanted to get it right—"
Choking on a sob, I fling my arms around her waist. "Haina," I breathe, tucking my head against her breasts. "I love you."
"I love you too, Ali. I didn't realize you needed to hear it. And I guess I didn't realize you meant it. You said it the moment we met, remember?" She rubs a hand over my back.
"I meant it then. I mean it now. I've always loved you. Since the moment I walked into the store and heard you laugh." I burrow against her, closing my eyes. "If you're not working, does this mean you can stay the night?"
"I actually don't have anywhere to go," she says softly. "That was another reason I didn't say anything about my job ending. I didn't want you to think I was using you to score a place to live. I wanted you to like me for me."
Her words fill me with joy. "Then stay with me. Stay as long as you like. Stay forever. We'll make a garden. You wanted to try doing something with vegetables, right? We'll make you the prettiest garden you've ever seen."
"You don't mind? I have a bit of savings, but it won't last me long," she confesses, tangling her hand in my hair. "I don't want you to feel like I'm using you."
"Use me," I say, looking up at her. "Use me all you like. Just love me."
"I do love you," she says softly, and kisses my nose. "But your hand is worrying me. Can we please go to the clinic and get it looked at?"
