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I fluff the pillows on the bed, twice, even though I know she doesn't use a pillow. She saw mine and seemed amused at the sight of them and that the bed wasn't soft enough for a squishy, delicate human and that we had to pad even more of our bodies before going to sleep. Then, I can't stop thinking about her and I hug the closest pillow dreamily.
I can't wait for tonight.
When I get to the store, Haina is already there, talking to the owner behind the counter. They both nod as I enter, but I don't approach Haina just yet. She's working and I don't want to be a bother. I retreat back to my regular spot at the far end of the store and watch her as I pretend to sniff candles. If anything, I feel as if she's gotten prettier since the day I met her, but maybe it's because now I know how kind her heart is, how warm her hand is when she touches me, and how soft her lips are against mine.
She finishes her stocking and glances over at me. "Ready, Ali?"
I move quickly to her side with a little smile, delighted at the hand that goes to my waist. I love when she touches me in public, even though those moments are few and far between. It's like she's claiming me as hers and it makes me feel so lovely inside.
We go to our usual lunch in Port, and I swear, I don't know what we talk about or what we eat. I'm distracted, noticing her long fingers and the way she licks her thumb as she takes a bite of avaashi. I'm too busy thinking about tonight, and how she's going to be staying with me. How we're going to be in bed together for the first time. Should I get plas-film? Haina has never seemed offended by my hygiene in the past, and we kiss regularly, but I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. If she needs plas-film—the slippery, ultra-thin film that clings to skin and acts as birth control and skin protection depending on your needs—then I want to have some for her. I should have thought of that earlier.
"You listening?" Haina asks, brushing my finger with hers.
"Do you need plas-film?"
"For…lunch?" She tilts her heads, her regal horns glinting. "No?"
My face feels like it's on fire. "For…you know. Tonight."
"Oh. No. I can't make you pregnant. And if I thought your hygiene was questionable, I'd have never kissed you." She grins at me, taking my hand in hers and lifting my fingertips to her mouth. She nips at the tip of one, sending a shockwave of heat through my body. "Are you stressing about tonight?"
Stressing? Stressing is one of the things I do best. "Of course. It needs to be perfect."
Haina chuckles. "It doesn't need to be perfect. It just needs to be…us." She kisses my fingertip again and her tongue brushes against my skin this time. "We don't have to do anything if you're uncomfortable, Ali."
"I'm not uncomfortable." I'm also not going to tell her I've been obsessing over this day for a week now, ever since she casually suggested it. "I'm…excited."
She bites her lip, showing a hint of fang, and I wonder if she's just as obsessed as I am. When she kisses my fingertips again, I whisper, "Want to go home now?"
Her eyes gleam. "I thought you'd never ask."
We all but rush out of the cantina back to my sled. Sometimes I walk when the weather's nice, but today it's blustery, the wind biting. My carefully smoothed hair is a mess, but Haina's gaze is bright as we close the doors on my sled and she turns toward me.
I can't resist any longer. I stare at her, practically quivering with longing. "Can I kiss you now? Or do you want to wait until we get to my farm?"
"Of course, you can kiss me. I'm your—what do you call it? Female friend?"
"Girlfriend." I slide over on my seat. I've been trying to teach Haina the term because there's not one for “exclusive partner but not mated.” In their culture, you're either mated or you're not. And while I would be thrilled to call Haina mine permanently, I'm probably moving way too fast for her. "That's like we belong to each other in a temporary sort of way. Testing the waters, so to speak."
"Girlfriend," she repeats, cupping the back of my head as I lean in. "I'll never remember that because you're not a girl in my eyes. You're a full-grown female. Can't I just call you 'mine'?"
"I would love it if you did," I confess, and then close the distance between us, kissing her. I'm addicted to kissing Haina. It always starts slow and soft, as if we're feeling each other out. Her lips are like pillows, and I nip at one before teasing my tongue into her mouth. Hers has ridges, which I find thrilling, and she finds my smooth one equally exotic. Burying my hands in her thick hair, I kiss her deeper, until it feels as if we're one, with no separation between one body and the next. Her mouth tastes sweet, her tongue as hungry as mine, and when we pull apart, we're both panting.
