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“I—”
“I’m on the pill because my periods are painful still, but without the pill to keep me regular it is like fifteen times more painful. So, I take the pill.”
“Well, you’ll stop it now.”
“I will not.”
“You’re going to have my baby.”
“You don’t even know my first-grade teacher’s name!”
He stares at me, his body going still. He looks at me like I’ve grown horns on top of my head.
“Woman, of course I don’t know her name. Why in the fuck would I know that?”
“I don’t know! It’s just something a man should learn about the woman he’s marrying and it’s something he will learn while they were dating and getting to know one another.”
“Sweetheart, it’s a good thing you’re sexy as fuck and good in bed because I think you might be unstable.”
“If I am you’ve made me that way,” I mutter. “Marco, this is good. It’s so much better than I imagined it would be. I just don’t want to push it too fast and have it fall apart.”
His hand moves under my hair to the back of my neck, and he pulls me to him. He kisses me slowly, gently, and full of feeling. It feels like he’s trying to send me a message. I’m not sure what it is, but his kiss feels good. When we break apart, he keeps pulling me so that my forehead is against his.
“What we have is good. It’s going to stay that way honey. You need to stop worrying. I’m not your old man. I’m here and I want you. I’m not going to disappear and leave you alone. You’re new to this, honey, and I’ve been in my own prison, so I’m not much better, but I have faith in what’s between us. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have worked so hard to have you right where you are right now.”
“Can I ask you to at least give me a week to get used to the fact that this is my life and that you really do want me?”
“I can give you that, but you’re still in my bed and I still get your kisses.”
“And I’m staying on birth control for a bit. I want your baby, but I’m not ready to be a mom just yet.”
“We’ll talk about this again, Princess, but for now, I’ll let you win.”
“Mighty magnanimous of you, Marco.”
He shrugs and I have to fight breaking out in a laugh. My man doesn’t have a problem with ego, that’s for sure.
My man. That makes twice I’ve thought that, and it feels even more true now.
“Do you really think I’m good in bed?” I ask, the thought that he does warming me all the way through.
With my question something happens that rocks my world. Marco throws his head back and laughs out loud, his arms going around to link behind my back as he squeezes me. My heart stalls in my chest and then does somersaults. He’s laughing. Not just a little. He does that some, it’s always a little stilted, but I still love to see it. This is a full out belly laugh, head back enjoying the sensation in a way that I know he is because his eyes sparkle.
It steals my breath.
“Are you seriously asking me that shit? Baby, I fucked you until neither one of us could move last night and we passed out in bed. Do you think that shit would have been possible if you weren’t fucking spectacular?”
“Um…” Fucking spectacular?
“Right,” he says, still laughing. “Then, let me say this now. Sex can be good or bad. If two people are into each other, it doesn’t take much to make it good, Princess. Sex is sex. To get what we shared last night, takes much more.”
“It does?”
“It does. You’re the best I’ve ever had. It’s not even close. You’ll be the last woman in my bed, so having that means like I’ve won the fucking jackpot. So, I’m telling you right now, baby. We’re getting married. We’re building a family, the kind that neither one of us had and wanted.”
His words warm me from the inside out. I look at him. His hair is mussed. He has his pajama shirt on, but open so I can take in the beautiful hair on his chest and still keep my hands flat against his skin. He’s beautiful. He’s offering me everything I’ve ever wanted. I can’t help but feel like he’s pushing us somewhere we’re not ready. How can he want to marry me, have a child with me, build forever with me when he doesn’t even trust me enough to let me see the scars that I know are on his back.
I want to ask, but I don’t. I know if I bring it up, he will withdraw from me and that’s the last thing I want.
