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And Christ, the way he’d simply said he felt good with me.
Like he was mine.
The memory of that moment pushed me over the edge without warning. Heat ripped through my groin like a wave and I lost control only about a minute into my unplanned jerk session. I came in long white streaks along the shower wall, my hand still firmly planted to keep me in place.
The man is not yours, I reminded myself the moment I’d finished.
The spot behind my chest twisted into a knot. I got under the blasting heat of the shower, cleaning off and trying to center myself. I showered, dried off, and quietly got dressed in my room as Jax still slept like a baby.
Coffee. I needed coffee. I went straight to the kitchen and got a pot brewing, yawning as I checked my phone.
Right away I saw the unmitigated explosion of notifications that had built up over the course of the morning.
The first texts were from the TV show producers. The next few were from some friends of mine. But I knew it must have been something serious when I saw that even Shawn and Nathan had texted me.
My bosses didn’t usually bother with social media gossip. Something very real had to be happening.
When I looked at the Instagram post on the Fixer Brothers show page, I immediately understood why. Footage of last night’s kiss with Jax was there, front and center—this time not just as a blurry glimpse. There were more comments on the post than I’d ever seen before.
People saying I told you so.
People saying holy shit, I thought it was all fake.
And a whole lot of people were talking about how hot it was that Jax and I were “actually dating.”
I scrolled through so many comments that my coffee was lukewarm by the time I took the first sip. Our plan was finally working. Without a hitch. People really believed that Jax and I were a couple now, not some sort of publicity stunt.
To the rest of the world, my fake boyfriend was very, very real.
“Jesus Christ,” I heard from behind me and I jumped a little, turning to see Jax.
“Didn’t know you were awake,” I said.
He was standing at the edge of the kitchen, one hand scratching his ruffled-up hair while he held his phone in the other. His eyes met mine.
“You’ve seen it, right?” he asked.
I nodded. “I’ve been looking through comments for the last twenty minutes,” I admitted.
I was struck by how cute Jax managed to look right now, even when he’d just woken up. He still had a little red mark on the side of his torso from where the sheets had been pressed to his skin, and his eyes were bleary as he gazed back down at his phone, bewildered.
“We did it,” was all he said a moment later.
“This is a lot to wake up to,” I said. “You okay? Let me make you a coffee.”
He glanced up at me. “Are you kidding? This is fucking awesome. This is what we wanted, right?”
It was a strange feeling to be on the same page as someone else for what felt like the first time in my life. I had expected Jax to get spooked by the sudden attention. To reconsider everything, realizing he’d made some huge mistake. The honest truth was that I couldn’t conceive of anyone actually wanting this—wanting to be my boyfriend, pretend or otherwise.
So even as relief flooded through me at Jax’s reaction, it made some part of me ache, too. I was tired of expecting the worst case scenario at all times, and sad that I’d gotten to this point at all.
“Yeah,” I said, realizing that I trusted him. “It’s exactly what we wanted.”
A gentle smile spread over his lips, and as the morning sunlight poured through the window in my kitchen, Jax looked fucking radiant, from his eyes to his skin to the damn glint in his hair.
In this moment, he was mine.
“Well, good morning, then, boyfriend,” he said, a little teasing tone to his voice. “This is the start of something beautiful. How about you let me suck your dick in celebration?”
I nearly spit out a sip of coffee.
“Keep talking like that and you’re going to turn me on.”
“Of course I’m trying to turn you on,” he said, taking a step forward and reaching out to touch my forearm. “That’s what couples do, right?”
It was like being handed a delicious drink laced with poison. This felt fucking amazing, but ultimately it was going to hurt me if I surrendered to the fantasy.
Not that that made me want to stop.
I cut him a glance, attempting to say something that might keep me grounded in reality. “But we’re not really a couple. And that’s the whole point.”
“Whatever,” he said, his voice light. “I can still suck you off.”
