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I knew Jax well enough to know he hated facing that harsh reality, too.
“Oh my God, there they are!” I heard a voice say from behind us, and when I turned I realized that the club was filling up fast. There was no time to talk with Jax, and no time to dwell.
It was time to smile for photos, schmooze, and look like a couple, even if it was for the last time.
14
JAX
I bumped into Charlie’s arm as both of us moved to pull out the same chair. The screening of the first episode was about to begin, and we were taking our seats at the front.
“Shit. Sorry,” I said.
He glanced up at me “No biggie.”
“Did you want this one?” I asked. “It’s okay, I can sit anywhere—”
“Don’t really care which one I’m in,” he said, grabbing the one next to me.
“Okay. If you, uh, want to switch or anything, though, just let me know,” I said.
I was internally fucking cringing at my sudden awkwardness. I knew I had to tell him the truth, that I desperately wanted him to be my real boyfriend. But when was the right moment? And why the hell was I suddenly so shy around him?
“What’ll you be having to drink, sir?” a waiter’s voice said from behind us, and I turned.
“Whichever energy drink you have,” I said too quickly before realizing that he’d been talking to Charlie, not me. “Fuck. Sorry. Again.”
Charlie politely ordered, looking dapper as fuck in his black suit with a purple collared shirt underneath. He’d looked like a prince all night, so darkly sexy that I swore he really could be in a vampire movie as some heartthrob. It was making me even more of an awkward, fumbling mess.
After the waiter had taken everyone else’s drink orders, including Nathan, Kace, Shawn, and Rush across the table, I leaned back and took a deep breath. I tried to collect myself, but my eyes kept gravitating over toward Charlie.
He was sitting back with his legs crossed, patiently waiting for the show to start. The dim candle at the center of the table lit him up in a warm glow, making him look every bit more regal. Fuck, I wanted to kiss him.
Normally I would kiss him.
Why did I suddenly feel afraid to?
I didn’t know what my problem was, but I knew it had started when that sweet redheaded guy had talked to us. Dylan. Goddamned Dylan. His comments had thrown me completely off kilter, right before the big premiere event.
The moment Dylan had said that Charlie and I had “true love,” a puzzle piece had finally clicked inside me.
I wasn’t just falling for Charlie. I’d already fucking fallen for him, long ago.
I did love him. I loved him.
Turning the words over in my mind felt like overturning a rock, and I was scared to see what was underneath. I’d been expecting a snake or a spider and instead, I’d found a glittering diamond. I was in love with Charlie. And the realization felt like the most obvious duh from the universe that I could imagine.
The next thing that had happened, just a second later after Dylan had said that to us, was that I’d looked over at Charlie and watched him get deeply uncomfortable, in real time. For the entire time I’d known Charlie, that had been one of the best things about him—the fact that I never really had to wonder what he was thinking, because he wore his heart so easily on his sleeve.
And it was very obvious how uncomfortable he felt about the whole interaction. How uncomfortable he’d been all night, really.
I didn’t know what to make of that.
“We’re heading to the brewery after this, right?” Nathan asked, clearly ten times more chill than my ass was, right now.
“You bet we are,” Shawn said. “And we’re changing back into jeans and T-shirts the minute we can.”
“I kind of like being in a suit,” Rush said. “Maybe when we get back, I’ll get behind the bar in a suit. Jax, can you imagine the glares Harlan would give us if we did that?”
“Harlan would call us brainless city folk, I’m sure,” I said. “Tell us we were going to spill beer on our prissy little suits.”
“And that’s all the more reason that we should do it,” Rush said with a wicked grin.
Even if I was having an existential crisis tonight, it was nice that my boss was such a cool guy.
“You ready to shoot pool with me in your fancy suit, Charlie?” Kace said to him playfully. “And lose, of course?”
“I might go home early after this,” Charlie finally said.
My heart sank. He was being polite, but it was so clear that something was going on behind his eyes.
And it fucking killed me that I couldn’t pull him aside and talk to him, right now.
