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Her head lulled and her body went limp in his arms. He needed to get her home right away.
CHAPTER 19
Dinner with the Hartzlers left Delilah more confused than ever. After seeing how much the other women loved their partners and life on the farm, she worried she might be missing an opportunity. She and Christian had been getting along great, but could their progress negated the fact that he abducted her? Her resolve was crumbling.
The longer she stayed with him the more torn she became. He was opening up new worlds and showing her things she’d never imagined. What if she was wrong to want to leave?
Their bond got stronger every day, and as her hunger strike waged on, the weakness consumed her. She found herself frequently daydreaming about him, recalling the passionate way he took her and how incredible those moments of intimacy were.
Even when he drank from her… She loved it. There was something spectacular about having a man possess her so completely. He looked at her as if she were the air he breathed. What sane woman would walk away from that?
She’d been suffering such intense cravings she knew she’d have to do the unthinkable soon and take his blood. On some subconscious level she wanted to, but then she pictured the actual act and couldn’t stomach the thought. She recalled how passionately Cain and Destiny took care of each other’s needs. She didn’t want to admit how erotic she found it when Christian bit into her, but the truth was there. Part of her liked the idea of feeding—maybe even craved it.
What’s happening to me?
Hunger for ordinary food didn’t compare to the intense way her body ached for blood. The cravings were so strong and painful it reminded her of the way women described pregnancy.
The moment the thought crossed her mind she stilled. “Oh shit.” She rushed downstairs, only partially dressed. “Christian?”
He was out front and came to the front door immediately. “What’s the matter?”
“Can I get pregnant? I mean, could I be?”
He cocked his head and crossed the foyer, flattening his hand over her belly. “You could, but you’re not.” His touch disappeared.
“What the hell was that?”
“Language, pintura.”
“Right. But, uh, you touched my stomach.”
“To check if you were with child. You’re not.”
“Shouldn’t we be a little more thorough? Pee on a stick or do that old-fashioned thing with a rabbit? Unless the old-fashioned way means the rabbit dies. In that case, I’d prefer to pee on the stick.”
“We don’t need a rabbit or a stick, pintura. You’re not pregnant.”
Then how did he explain the cravings?
“You’re having cravings because you’re not feeding properly. I warned you this would happen.”
“You said I’d get stiff and old. You mentioned nothing about cravings. And what about condoms? We should probably talk about protection.”
“We don’t need birth control. When God decides we’re ready—”
“Errrrrt!” She made a sound like breaks squealing on the road. “Let me stop you right there. I decide when I’m ready. Me. And I’m not. So we need to start using something.”
“Mortal methods will not work for us. My seed was created for your body.”
“Made for me or not, I don’t want a baby.”
“Ever?”
“Definitely not right now.” And who was to say she’d ever want to have children with him.
He stepped back. “I see.”
“Christian…” She hadn’t meant to insult him, but it was impossible to filter her private thoughts.
“I can read your body. I’ll know when you’re most fertile and take the necessary preventative precautions.”
“Please don’t be offended. Becoming a mother is a huge decision.” She considered her own mother and how unprepared she’d been to raise a child. “I’m just not ready to be a mom. That should imply nothing about my feelings for you or the sort of father you might be.”
He caressed her cheek and tucked a hair behind her ear. “I know. Just as you should know, I’ll only want children if we have several. I never want our kids to be alone.”
She unintentionally recoiled at his use of our. “Can you teach me how to read my body so I know when I’m fertile?”
He frowned. “You’re my mate. It’s instinct. I can scent the hormones in your pheromones when your body is fertile.”
That didn’t give her any sense of security. “I think I need a little more science than your sense of smell and Jedi mind tricks for my own piece of mind.”
He placed his hands over her arms and looked into her eyes. “There is no science. Only nature. Trust me on this.”
“Trust you? Christian, I’m saying I don’t want to get pregnant, and your response is that you’ve got it all handled.”
“I do have it handled.”
He was asking for a lot of trust and control over her body. “There’s no other way?”
“I’m afraid science has never been our species’ strong suit.”
