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“Leave the past in the past, Adriel.”
A year ago, she would have agreed, but now things were different. “My mind will not rest until I’m certain he can’t find me.”
Dane was proof that Cer was still alive and, once again, strong enough to litter the immortal population with his tainted seed. He likely had several bastards roaming the earth, but she could never consider her son his. Christian was an honorable male. She raised him as her son alone, and Cerberus could not know he existed.
Eleazar was the only one who knew the extent of the evil her mate had put her through. He had nursed her back to health, diligently worked to mend her mind, and taught her many disciplines that made her stronger than most female immortals. He promised her a new life, in a new world.
Eleazar sighed. “Adriel, I know you are frightened. But if Dane’s life is any indication, Cerberus has been free for at least two decades and has yet to find you.”
“Dane was in Jim Thorpe when we found him, Eleazar. That means Cerberus has been close to here. What if he’s simply biding his time?”
“I don’t believe that’s the case. If he wanted you, he would have collected you by now.” Hesitating, he chose his words carefully. “He would know your blood, Adriel. Cerberus is strong. Stronger than any male I’ve ever met. But no one is unstoppable. We outmatched him before and we’ll do it again if need be. You’re safe here. This is your home.”
“He could surprise us—”
“We’ll sense him coming. You forget, when we buried him alive, there were twelve of us. Now, there are hundreds on your side. The Order will protect you.”
“Like you’ve protected that witch downstairs?”
His head snapped up. “Who told you about that?”
“Do you know who it is? Or should I ask, do you know who they are?”
His scowl darkened. “Do you? You trespass in more minds than I.”
She wouldn’t apologize for eavesdropping. It was sometimes the only way to protect herself and stay informed. Most of the males preferred to keep the females completely in the dark. “I have my suspicions. The younger males aren’t involved. Whoever’s hurting that girl is more than capable of guarding his thoughts, that tells me he’s at least a century old. Whoever it is, they have to be punished.”
“They will be. Regardless of her crimes, the plebe is under our protection.”
Their archaic tactics only proved how unsafe females truly were. Not much had changed from when Adriel was young and taken in the middle of the night in the presence of her entire family.
While her Amish lifestyle protected them in terms of privacy, it left them vulnerable in many other ways. “Eleazar, I want a firearm.”
He tensed. “No.”
“But if I—”
“The answer is no, Adriel, and that is final.”
“I am completely helpless here. I—”
“Think of what you’re asking. It goes against everything we believe to use a firearm in self-defense. Rifles are for hunting and hunting alone, and our species has no need for such things.”
“I’ve watched you make much bigger concessions, Eleazar. I know you’ve allowed the new transitions modern comforts that would never be permitted in other sects.”
He scoffed. “Those are harmless spoils. Battery-operated musical devices for Annalise and books for Destiny. You’re asking for a weapon. It’s out of the question.”
“I would not use it unless I needed it.”
“Weapons wound, Adriel.”
“Cerberus wounds!” she snapped. “He’s killed me a hundred times before. I won’t let him do it again.” She couldn’t go back to that weakened state of starvation. He was sentencing her to an endless existence ripped between this world and the purgatory where undead immortals go. “You can’t leave me defenseless.”
“The answer is no. You’re not a defenseless child anymore.”
“Who is to say any of my disciplines will serve me when I’m running for my life. Would you truly leave me helpless?”
“You’re one of the strongest females I know. You will never be helpless again. You’re safe here.”
“I don’t feel safe.” Furious that he would not grant her this wish, she stood. “I’m a lamb waiting for slaughter.” She wrung her hands. “He’s coming for me, Eleazar. I can sense it.”
“Adriel, you’re giving him power by—”
“No,” she snapped. “I give him nothing. He doesn’t need me to make him powerful. He’s survived more than any elder on this farm. You’re right, I’m not a foolish little girl anymore. I’m wise, and I know exactly what an immortal of his age is capable of. I will not stand meekly by, waiting, while he plans his revenge. This time I’ll be prepared. And I’ll not go calmly into the night.”
“Adriel—”
She silenced him with a cold stare. “Mark my words, Eleazar, I will kill him. I’ll kill him so there’s no possible way that monster can hurt me or anyone else again.”
