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“It’s for the man who’s opening Tea and Empathy, isn’t it?” Ruby asks with a knowing quirk of her brow.
I wrinkle my nose. “Yes.”
“Oh, him. He’s really something,” Barb says, her eyes going wide. “I saw him carrying some paint into his shop the other morning on my walk. Just a stunning man. I bet he already gets marriage proposals slipped under the shop door.”
A spark of jealousy ignites in my chest. “He better not,” I mutter.
Ruby cracks up.
So does Barb.
Then Ruby gives me a long, exaggerated nod. “Never mind. I was mistaken, he’s clearly just a man who’s your friend.”
Barb pats my hand. “I’m sure he’ll be fooled, too.” With a wink, she slips out of her chair. “Be right back, girls. I need to go talk to Linda about a bulk order for the pies I’m cooking for the Boys and Girls Club fundraiser next week.”
As soon as she’s out of ear shot, Ruby grabs my arm. “Liar, liar, pants on fire. I didn’t want to spill the beans in front of Mom, but you slept with the competition again. Didn’t you!”
Heaving a tortured sigh, I cave, pouring out my insides like a snowman melting on a summer day. “Sort of, but Ruby, I couldn’t help myself. He can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under a minute. He looks and sounds just like Henry Cavill. He’s smart and clever and filthy in bed, and he can cook like nobody’s business and he’s sweet to shy people, and to me, and I’m just —”
“A cruel, terrible person,” she finishes.
I blink. “What? Why am I cruel and terrible?”
“Because you didn’t call me to tell me about all this! I thought Weston was still persona non grata. I thought we were still hating him until the end of time or not talking about him because it was upsetting to you or whatever.” She nudges my arm. “You should have told me you’d had a change of heart and maybe even…” She hesitates before continuing in a hopeful whisper, “found the man of your dreams?”
I shake my head. “He’s not the man of my dreams.”
“Stop. You’ve already withheld yummy gossip from your best friend and favorite cousin,” she says, “don’t add fibbing to your list of sins.”
I press my lips together, at war with myself, and my chest is suddenly so tight it’s hard to breathe.
“Hey, babe,” Ruby adds in a softer, more serious voice as she lays gentle fingers on my arm. “I’m just kidding. You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. Your romantic business is your romantic business, not anyone else’s.”
“It’s not that,” I say, biting the side of my mouth. “It’s…everything. Everything is dumb.”
“Everything?” She arches a brow. “Would it help to maybe break that down a little?”
I take a fortifying breath. “Okay, one, he’s in the competition, and I can feel myself getting distracted by him. And I can’t afford distraction, not when I barely squeaked into the top three in the first challenge. I have to stay strong, or I won’t have a chance in hell of winning. Two, even if he wasn’t in the competition, or after the competition is over, don’t you think getting involved with the guy across the street is a tiny bit dumb?”
Ruby hums thoughtfully. “Because you’ll have to see him every day if it doesn’t work out?”
My heart sinks even lower. “Yes. And really, what are the chances it will work out? Even if I can convince him to give serious dating a try, things never work out with me and boyfriends. Boyfriends always break my heart. Always. The only saving grace is that we live in a huge city and I usually don’t have to see them again.”
At least not every day. I’ve run into Theodore on the street and that was misery, and I bumped into Shelby on the subway. The same car. Thank God, I never see Nelson the Odious since he doesn’t deign to come to Brooklyn.
Which brings me to my point.
“If I truly pursue something with West”—I shudder—“can you imagine how awful it would be to see him right across the street, going about his life without me? Happy that I’m no longer in his bed? Maybe even bringing his new girlfriend to his shop for brunch because of course she’s perfect for him and beautiful and sweet and loves gross, disgusting tea as much as he does.” I press my hand to the ache in my chest. “God. It hurts just thinking about it.”
Truly, it does.
I can feel it already, how much my heart will break when West disappoints me.
When, not if. I’d love to believe he’s different than the men who’ve betrayed me in the past, but I’ve been burned so many times.
And how much more would those burns have hurt if I’d been forced to see those men’s faces every day?
