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“I will,” I promise Sean, pressing a kiss to my finger and dropping it to his photograph. “I promise.”
I box up the cards, tuck them way, then wipe my eyes. Time to be brave.
28
Graham
Valerie opens the door to the arena for me with a stern smile and a wag of her finger. “You have five minutes.”
“Thank you, Valerie.”
“No, thank you. That Stellar Spa gift card was everything I needed. If it weren’t for you, Luna would be giving me forks and paperweights.” She shudders before jabbing her thumb down the hallway. “Okay, on second thought, you have ten minutes. I’ll wait here for you.”
I thank her for doing me a solid and letting me into the arena.
Maybe this is crazy, but it feels like the sanest thought I’ve had all day. Sean was my rock, the guy I turned to. He was steady, reliable, and quick with an answer. Almost always, the answer was an upbeat one. It was “seize the day” or “go for it.”
And it was almost always delivered here.
This arena is where we hatched some of our greatest plans.
As I walk through the stands, closer to the ice, I swear I can feel Sean’s presence. That might mean I’m losing my mind. Or maybe that’s how it goes when you lose somebody you love. You can feel them in places that matter. In the things you shared.
If he were here, I’d ask him what to do next.
When you fall hard for your buddy’s sister, you need to man up and let him know.
I take a seat then lower my head almost as if I’m in church, but I’m not asking God, or a saint, or even a ghost. I’m asking a friend, who happens to be on the other side.
My voice is low, barely a whisper. “I miss you, buddy. I miss you a hell of a lot. But we’re doing great things, and I know you’d be proud of what we built. You’d be proud of your sister too. She’s an amazing woman, bright and beautiful and confident. She has great friends, and she knows what she wants in life.”
I hope I’m part of what she wants.
I heave a sigh then say the next thing, the hardest part. But once the words are out, there’s nothing tough about saying them. They are the truest words I’ve ever spoken.
“I didn't plan on falling in love with her. But it happened. And you know what I think? What I hope, at least? That you would tell me to go for it. Even though you’d grumble. Even though you’d threaten me with bodily injury at first, warn me never to hurt her. But in the end, I think you’d say to go for it because you’d know I’ll treat her right. And I will, Sean. I will treat her like she’s the most adored woman on the planet, because she is, and I don’t want to lose this chance at forever.”
Forever.
The word clangs in my brain.
CJ used it last night in the kitchen, while I hunted for the sushi menu.
“Do you think romance can last forever?”
I answer for myself this time.
Yes. Yes, I do. But only if you have the guts to tell the woman you want forever to be with her.
29
Graham
I run.
I run through the city. I cruise past couples enjoying Sunday evening dates, past families turning in after a day outside in the gorgeous spring weather. I race by guys heading to office buildings to work late on a weekend.
That’s been me.
That was me just last night.
But it’s not who I am now.
I run with more energy than I had when I started this morning. She’s not far away, but walking is for guys who don’t know they’re in love.
I don’t bother heading home to shower. I don’t stop to buy flowers.
CJ doesn’t want or need flowers. This isn’t about that kind of gift. This is about something new, something different. That’s what this has been about all along. She’s the one. She’s always been the one, never been far from my thoughts, even before this week together.
This time I have to go in naked, so to speak. Venture into unfamiliar territory without my usual tool kit of gifts and goodies, of lingerie and flowers. The arsenal of seduction isn’t what I need right now, not tonight.
As soon as I reach her building, I run up the steps, powered by pure adrenaline and a mad need to make sure she knows I love her. I grab my phone and stab my finger against her name, calling her.
My breath comes in harsh pants as I wait for her to answer.
Her voice is shaky, a little surprised as she asks, “Hello?”
“I’m outside. I need to see you.”
There’s a pause. “You’re . . . outside?”
Breathless, more words come. “I’m here at your apartment. I need to see you. I need to see you now, Butterfly.”
