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The weekend of silence was refreshing. I was able to get ahead on my school work, rest, and stretch my ankle out. I didn’t hear from Rhys at all. He could tell I was icy when he took me home Saturday, and I could tell he was responding by being cold to me as well. It may have been easier to tell him the truth; that I was overwhelmed and started to panic. But it was embarrassing, and would have opened the door to discussing feelings I shouldn’t be having toward him, and feelings I hated having toward my mother.
It was easier, and though he may not forgive me, or understand, I’ve always taken care of myself the best way I knew how. I did what I had to do.
Of course, I told Erin everything when she brought me dinner Sunday night. We sat on my bed and ate, filling each other in on our weekend.
“He almost kissed me,” Damn, I sounded more like a twelve year old than a grown woman.
“What?” Erin screamed. “Whyalmost? Why not all the way?”
“Cruz Martin came in and slammed a door making me fly away from Rhys like he had cooties.”
“You got to meet Cruz Martin?”
“Geez you're starting to sound like Rachel.”
“Hey now,” she laughed and pointed her fork toward me. “I’m a fan, but you will never see me throwing myself at one of them like Rachel.”
She was telling the truth there. Cruz was the newest addition to the Miami Inferno and already had a huge fan base because he was originally from Miami. Erin was part of that, but she would rather die than get labeled a squealing fan girl.
“Okay back up, don't try to distract me. Tell me the rest of the story.”
“Not much to tell. We kinda quietly agreed to kiss once. Just so we could let go of the tension, ya know? But, it didn’t happen. And I’m thankful for that. It kept me from making a huge mistake. Then we took some pictures for him to send to Coach. I felt guilty lying to Coach, and I randomly started thinking about my mom. From there I just spiraled into a panic and shut down. But it was a good thing, because had self-preservation not kicked in, I would have kissed him when the opportunity came back around, and I wouldn’t know what to do with that.”
“You'd enjoy it!” She screeched.
“I doubt I’m strong enough to enjoy just one kiss and walk away. And since I’m not what he’s looking for in his life, it’s best if I don’t risk getting attached.”
“Hey, there is nothing wrong with having a fling. Sex has been known to relax you and help you focus.”
“Wow,” I deadpanned. “This escalated quickly. How didonekiss turn to sex and a fling?”
“My mind goes where it goes, Ash. There are no straight roads up here.” She tapped her temple, making me giggle.
“Well, now that we’ve had time to cool down. I’m sure we’ll be back to normal. I really do like being his friend.”
“Boooooo.” She gave me a thumbs down, and then threw a cashew at me for good measure. I knew I needed to change the subject before she took me wedding dress shopping.
“How has Hunter been acting?”
“Ugh.” Erin put her food container down and pushed it away, making a show of losing her appetite. “Whatever is going on with him, he needs to chill the fuck out.”
“That bad?”
“It's not that he’s doing anything wrong, he’s just acting differently and, I don't know… scary?”
“We need to say something to Coach when he gets back.”
“Say what? That Hunter’s angry and barely talks? That isn't exactly a good reason to raise hell.”
“I’ll be back at practice tomorrow. Not that I can help, he creeps me out too. But at least we’ll be together.”
“Yesssss,” she pointed at me and then stood from my bed. “I’m glad you got to rest this weekend, but practice will be better with you there. Ankle good to go?”
“Yep!” I stretched my leg out and twisted it around for good measure, showing her I was ready to get back to business. It felt weird even wanting to go to practice since I had been actively trying to avoid playing soccer for a while. But I had to give Rhys credit, playing soccer with him was fun, and it brought back the fire I had lost somewhere in my studies.
After Erin left, I took a quick shower and climbed into bed. It was still early, but what else was I going to do? Papers were finished, textbooks were read, and I didn’t have a TV. Watching YouTube, or reading a romance book was at the top of my list, and since I wasn’t feeling lovey-dovey, I opted for videos of the best soccer goals of all time.
Naturally, Rhys was on there more than once, and though I could have scrolled past it, I found myself rewatching them over and over again. Only when a text popped up did I realize I had been watching the same video for nearly 20 minutes.
