AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Of course I was. Some twenty-eight-year-old kid was ready to run away with my wife, and here I was cheating on her right and left. What could I have done to stop you? I was so jealous I was near panicking.”
Laughter drifts up and out of me like champagne bubbles. “I know you were. I enjoyed it very much.”
Mark turns to me for a moment, playfully narrowing his eyes, and I laugh louder. After being so lost in conversation, I didn’t notice that we’re already back in Santa Barbara, now driving on the windy road up to the house.
We haven’t been this comfortable together in years.
Has he really changed over these last six months, or is this just part of his ploy to win me back? I never thought he could go a day without some form of passive aggression or outright spite. He never did in our marriage.
He’ll be much better for the next woman, and that’s a good thing, for both him and the kids.
Even though just the thought of it breaks my heart.
“I guess the next time I see you will be for the ball,” he says after walking me to the front porch.
I swallow. “Our last date.”
He shuts his eyes, but I can’t let it deter me. He needs to know. I have to crush his hopes, even if it will also crush me.
I set my hand on his arm. “Mark, I think you should start dating. After next week, I mean.”
He flinches as if I hit him, but I force myself to proceed. I’ll always love him, but he’s not for me. Not anymore. Too much damage has been done.
“I don’t mean you should look for casual sex like you did in our marriage,” I say. “You need to find meaningful connections with women who aren’t me. That will help you heal.”
When his lips tremble, I want to die. Oh God, why does this have to be so hard?
“I’m not saying the thought of it is easy for me,” I say. “You were my partner. You were mine. Of course I feel a little jealous of the thought of another woman taking care of you. But it’s in your best interest. You need to actively work on moving on—”
“Stop.” His voice is just above a whisper.
I swallow. “I just—”
He shakes his head once, but it’s enough to halt me. I’ve said enough. If he shows any more emotion, I might break.
He looks at me, and the pain in his eyes is so tangible I could touch it. “Please don’t say any more. You can tell me you’re done with me. You can tell me you never want to see me again.” He inhales a shaky breath. “But don’t tell me to move on. Moving on is like death to me.”
My heart in my throat, I reach out to touch him, but he steps back to evade me.
“I’ll see you next week,” he says, and I look away as I nod so that he doesn’t see the hovering tears.
Even a year ago, my heart would have been so soft after an afternoon like this, he could have squished it beneath his heel. I guess I should be thankful he made me pay for so long.
I don’t have anything left to give.
CHAPTER7
3years ago
Mark
My love for you has never wavered. It’s always been you.
I throw back my whiskey,enjoying the burn as it trails down my throat. It’s the best they have at this dive bar, and it’s about as smooth as gasoline.
A bell tinkles just before Casey walks through the entrance of the bar. After glancing around the area, she makes her way over to my table. She frowns at my empty glass. “You ordered without me?”
“I couldn’t remember what you usually get.”
