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Livvy glances at me, then at Zac. “I can’t. If I drink any more, I’m going to look like a zombie on my wedding day.”
“She’s not taking one.” I grab both glasses from Zac before Livvy gets a chance to change her mind. “I’lldrink in honor of the bride.”
I knock back the first shot, the burn searing my throat, then the second. The room spins a little as I slam the glasses on the counter. Livvy squeals, and Zac throws his arm around me and pulls me into a rough hug. I giggle, a warm glow spreading through me.
Then my eyes lock with Brandon’s. He’s walking toward the bathroom, his face rigid, eyes dark. His stare is so intense, it feels like a physical touch. He looks ready to explode.
Good. He needs to see the reality of his decision.
When we make it back to the table, I slump down in my seat, the world spinning a bit. I grab my napkin and discreetly wipe the drops of the shot that dripped down my dress. My cheeks burn when I see Brandon making his way back to his seat, his gaze fixed on me. The energy between us is electrifying and uncomfortable.
He has no right to act like a jealous boyfriend. This is Livvy’s night, and he’s making it all about me.
“Well,” I say loud enough for half the table to hear. “I’m feeling a little tipsy, so I should probably head home.”
Brandon’s gaze shifts to his glass of wine.
“We’ll be wrapping up soon,” Livvy says, her eyes full of concern. “Cole and I can take you home if you can wait ten minutes.”
“No, that’s okay.” I smile slowly, the alcohol fizzing in my veins making me bold. “I just texted a friend, and he’s already headed here to pick me up.”
Brandon’s head jerks up, his eyes narrowing on my face.
Fuck, why did I do that? There’s no reason to make him jealous when it won’t do either of us any good. Alcohol must be making me impulsive.
As soon as I make it to the concrete outside, I pull up the Uber app. I’m just about to order a car when a voice halts me.
“I know what you’re doing,” a deep voice resonates behind me.
I flip around, letting my skirt dance around my thighs. “What am I doing?”
He walks in my direction, his gaze hardening with each step. “You’re punishing me. Using this opportunity to show me how much I’m losing.”
His slight emphasis on “much” makes my heart flutter, but I manage a scoff. I cross my arms over my chest. “I’m not punishing you. I’m just trying to move on.”
Something flickers behind those dark eyes… Something that looks almost frantic. He looks away and takes a deep breath. “With Zac? Are you… Is it serious?”
The words are so faint. I can barely hear them. But the pain behind them is unmistakable. How could he be so silly? How could he think I want Zac when I love him with all my heart?
Probably because Zac is my age.
“No, of course not.” My voice is just above a whisper. “It’ll be a long time before I can…” I swallow. “Feel this way for someone else.”
He flinches as if I hit him. When his eyes meet mine again, they’re filled with agony.
“I’ll never feel this way for anyone else.” The words are hushed. “I’m so sorry, Mariana. I’m so sorry I did this to you.”
A small flicker of anger sparks within me, and my skin begins to vibrate. “Stop making this all about you. Everything that we did was my choice. The only thing that’s stopping me from being with you now is that you obviously don’t want an atheist. Which I understand. I honestly do. It would be hard—”
“Is that what you think?” he nearly shouts, his incredulity as clear as glass.
My anger is doused as if by a bucket of ice water. “How could I think anything else? You said it was about losing my family, but you’ve already lost them. What’s stopping you now from being with me?”
“Mari…” He shakes his head, stepping back. He’s quiet for a moment, as if collecting his thoughts. “How could you think… You have to understand that I’m doing this for you.” He huffs out a humorless laugh. “I must have some vestige of integrity left that I’m not taking you into my arms right now.”
I grunt, coldness clamping around my heart. “For once, I wish you’d choose me over your precious integrity. What does integrity even mean if it makes you hurt someone as much as you’re hurting me now?”
He doesn’t speak, and I find myself wishing I could huddle into a ball. Hide away from him like a child who feels like she’s disappeared when her eyes are shut.
