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Brandon
As I roll down the window, the misty ocean air cools my face, but it does nothing to calm me. I can’t reason away the grip of guilt squeezing my heart.
What would the Hernandez family think if they knew what I did last night? I’m on my way to meet Sofia for coffee, and less than twenty-four hours ago, I jacked off thinking about the baby of the family. In my damn church office.
In the house of the Lord.
I know a church building is no more significant than anywhere else. God is everywhere. The thought isn’t comforting, though. Not when I felt more alive last night than I ever have in that office.
I glance over at Ethan. He has Sofia’s Instagram page pulled up on his phone. “She still has pictures up of her ex,” he says.
I flip on the turn signal. “Not recent pictures, I hope.”
He snorts. “You don’t sound hopeful at all. You don’t sound like you even care.”
Guilt sinks my gut. How could I care when I’m consumed with lust for her younger sister?
“Don’t say anything like that around her. I’ve made up my mind to give her my all. She has a lot of good qualities. She’s a smart woman and very sweet.”
Smart. Sweet. The words feel dull on my lips, like I’ve rehearsed them. Like they rise to my tongue because I can’t think of anything else to say. Why can’t I think of better words to describe her?
Bright. Intense. Eyes that cut into you and clench your stomach muscles.
But those aren’t words to describe Sofia.
“Mariana, though…” Ethan mutters, startling me. When I look in his direction, a mosaic wall of pictures of Mariana are pulled up on his phone. “If you don’t go for her, I might. Those eyes of hers.”
My jaw clenches, but I try to keep my expression placid. He’s only trying to goad me. He’d never actually pursue someone who doesn’t share his faith.
But fuck if I don’t hate hearing anyone else talk about her eyes.
Those incredible eyes. Inky dark and dusted with gold, but that’s not what makes them sparkle. It’s her expressions. She’s so full of emotion, that woman.
I’d love to see what ecstasy looks like on her face.
Ethan chuckles, and heat washes over my face. I know what he’s about to say. It’s as if we can read each other’s minds.
“You so want Mari. It’s obvious.”
I grit my teeth. “It’s not something to joke about. I’m old enough to be her dad.”
Ethan scoffs. “Yeah, if you had her at fourteen. I think you’ve let Hector get in your head.”
I run a hand through my hair. “Please let’s not talk about this now. Not when we’re about to hang out with Sofia. I feel guilty enough that I’m attracted to Mariana.”
“The solution is to stop letting Hector pressure you into dating someone when you don’t really want to. I’m seriously worried you might end up marrying Sofia just because you’re lonely.”
A chuckle rumbles from my chest, easing my frayed nerves. “You have a really high opinion of my character.”
Ethan smiles. “It’s so clear you’re dying to find a wife. You’re more of a stereotypical evangelical than I am.”
I punch his shoulder before stepping out of the car. “I’m not a virgin.”
Ethan chuckles. “You’re a born-again virgin.”
I’m relieved by the lightness between us as we walk to the cafe, yet I can’t fully stifle the stirring of guilt inside me. Maybe he’s right that I should stop pursuing Sofia. If I haven’t felt a spark with her yet, maybe it’s never going to happen.
No. I have to give her a chance. I owe Hector at least that after everything he’s done for me, even if I don’t agree with his attempt to manage his grown daughters’ lives.
