AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“And he wanted to hang out. It was me he was really inviting out. You were an afterthought.”
Brandon grunts. “I don’t think he would have given me any thought at all if I hadn’t called him out.”
I frown. “He’s a pastor?”
He’s quiet for a long moment. “Pastors are human, Mariana. We have frailties just like anyone else.”
A laugh escapes me, bitter and humorless. “Seems like an odd place to let out your frailties. At a pastor’s conference. Right in front of the pastor who’s leading it.”
His gaze is intent on the host’s stand while we wait to get a table, but there’s something in those dark eyes that makes the hairs on my arms stand up.
“What about in the bathroom of your own church?” he eventually asks. “With your temporary PA?”
His questions hit me in the chest. He’s ridden with guilt. It’s so palpable, I could almost reach out and touch it.
It was selfish of me to toy with him. Just because I think his reasons for resisting me are silly doesn’t mean they aren’t deeply meaningful to him. If I keep doing this, I could hurt him.
I don’t want to hurt him.
I think I might be falling in love with him.
ChapterTwenty
Mariana
The dim light from the single lamp casts shadows that dance and flicker against the sun-bleached wallpaper. In the quiet, my guilt expands within me like a balloon, robbing me of breath at times.
Dinner was tense and short, and not because of Brandon. I was too in my head to enjoy my alone time with him.
He thinks I’m a child, and here I am, acting like one almost on purpose. Is this what I do when I feel rejected?
My whole life, I’ve felt out of place because of my beliefs. Brandon is one of the first few Christians who have accepted me, and his acceptance means something. He’s a pastor, a man of authority in a community I’ll probably always be a part of. At least, if I want to be close to my family.
He makes me feel like I belong. Just as I am.
It hurts to think that he might be hiding the truth from me—that maybe he thinks an atheist is fine for a family friend but not for a lover. I don’t want him to only accept me partially.
I want him to want me as intensely as I want him.
A soft hissing sound pulls me into the present. I sit up and listen. It’s coming from the bathroom. Spraying water.
I get up and pad barefoot across the coarse old carpet. I flick the light switch, illuminating the grimy bathroom in harsh white light. The sink is spraying an arc of water.
I rush forward, my heart pounding like a drum in my chest. My fingers slip on the cold metal of the faucet as I turn it, trying to stop the relentless assault of water. But instead of stopping, the spray intensifies. A monstrous jet of icy water drenches me in seconds.
Water seeps into my clothes, and I stumble backward, shielding my face with my hands. I gasp, my breath catching in my throat as the cold water saturates my skin, matting my hair to my face.
I’m soaked through as the water starts to creep out of the bathroom, drenching the carpet. I jump over the growing puddle and snatch up my suitcase. Water sloshes under my feet as I make my way toward the door.
In the quiet darkness of the forest, I use the moonlight as my guide. I run in the direction of Brandon’s bungalow, my soaked clothes clinging to me like a second skin. Goddamn him for making me stay in that shack. Since this is all his fault, he can deal with the aftermath.
I knock frantically on his door, my teeth chattering from the cold. When Brandon opens it and appears in front of me, his eyes grow huge. “Oh my God,” he nearly shouts. “Are you okay? What happened?”
I wave a hand. “I’m fine. I’m just wet, as you can see.”
His dark gaze slowly drifts from my soaked hair down my neck, lingering on my chest.
“My room is flooding.”
