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“I don’t think it’s odd to honor someone you love who isn’t here anymore.” I touch his cheek and love the openness in his eyes. “I’d be the last person to think it was odd. Look at me with Sunset Cove.”
“I guess we have more in common than what I first realized. Death is never easy.”
“No. It’s not. My mother um …” My voice catches in my throat and I have to drag in a deep breath to compose my mind and clear the bad memories from my sight. “It was awful the way I lost her.”
More sadness bleeds into is expression, reaching his eyes. “I’m sorry you went through that. Your father told me what happened.”
That surprises me. “Did he?”
“Yes. He was worried about you. I assured him I’d take care of you.”
I give him a gentle smile. “You have taken care of me.”
“Not as much as I could have. I wanted to say something about your mother before but I didn’t want to stir up any painful memories. I understand when you just can’t talk about something that hurts you. It’s the same for me.”
“I thought so. That’s why I haven’t asked you about Giselle. I’ve wanted to for a while, though.”
“I know.”
"What happened to her, Knight?"
He glances at the floor for a moment. When he looks back at me, the guard that’s normally covering his eyes is gone. “She had a rare form of Huntington's disease that became active in her teenage years. Unfortunately, she also had lupus.”
"My God. I didn’t know you could have those illnesses at the same time.”
"It’s incredibly rare.” He nods, pressing his lips together. “We met in high school when I came to live in New York. When we were about sixteen, she took a turn for the worst. The years went by, and the doctors tried all sorts of different treatments to keep her going, but nothing worked. By the time we finished college, she had to live in a home. That’s when things got really bad, and we knew by then that she only had a few years left to live. I did everything I could to give her more time, but I couldn't. It just didn’t work."
As I listen to him, I swear I could be watching my father talk about all he did to save my mother.
“Is that how she died?" I search his eyes when they grow sadder.
"No. When the last treatment failed, she took her life, and I…found her. I don’t think I was supposed to, but I did.”
My stomach turns inside out, sending tremors shooting down my spine. My hands fly up to my mouth and my breath stills. I never expected him to say that. Everything he told me was already bad, but that…
I can’t imagine how he must have felt.
“Oh God, Knight. I’m so, so sorry". My expression of sorrow doesn't feel like it's enough, especially when I read all the pain in his eyes.
“It’s okay. She wanted to go out on her own terms, not because of her illness. She saw what the worry of it did to her family. And me. So she decided to leave us while she still had her dignity.”
My insides have tightened with sorrow wrapping around my lungs like a vice. I don’t know what to tell him that sounds like the right thing. What could anyone say that sounds right after hearing such sad truths?
“I’m truly, truly sorry.” I reach out and take his hand. “I can’t begin to imagine what you went through. Or her. She must have gone through so much to get to that stage.”
“She did. It was a difficult time in all our lives, but now… it's time to let go. That’s why I'm sending this collection to my mother. Not being able to finish this last piece feels like I'm still hanging on, and I don’t want to be.”
“I think you need to do what’s best for you.”
"I think so, too, Goddess.” He brushes my cheek with his thumb and gives me a small smile.
“Thank you for telling me what happened to Giselle. I know it must have been difficult to open old wounds.”
“It was, but you needed to know. I don’t want you to think I’m still hung up on my dead girlfriend.”
“I didn’t think that.” I do my best to sound like the notion was the furthest thing from my mind, but it’s a half lie. I don’t think he’s hung up on Giselle, but I also don’t think he got over her either. I can’t blame him for that. I don’t believe the relationship they appeared to have is something you ever get over, especially with how he lost her.
“Good. Come on, let's go to bed. It's late.”
