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“No one will ever love you,” she says. “You will always be alone, Pike. Your father sees a better version of me in you. That’s why he’s obsessed with you and Rhys is a good boy. He could never love a dirty whore like you, Pike,” Mother says and then she unlocks my door and leaves.
Closing my eyes, I cry silently and listen as her footsteps fade away down the hall.
I open my eyes again and I’m back in the bathroom.
I go over to the toilet, drop to my knees and shove two fingers down my throat, gagging as I try to bring something up. I haven’t eaten in hours and even though I’m starving, I can’t stand the thought of eating at the same time.
I’ve been doing this for so long that I cannot remember when I last felt a true craving for food without the eager need to bring it up after I’ve barely digested it.
I go deeper, but all I manage to vomit is bile. My stomach unclenches and I crawl over to the claw foot tub before filling it with steaming hot water.
When the water is overflowing the edge of the tub, I climb in and drown my world out by going under. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
14
RHYS: CHAPTER XIV
Now
We’re on the ice again, getting ready for a game this Friday. I didn’t think I’d ever see myself enjoying the feel of the game again, but now skating and the sensation of the adrenaline rushing through my veins makes me feel fucking terrific. Especially when my thoughts are mostly plagued by the memory of my thick cock throbbing inside of her.Pike. She’ll be my undoing if I don’t keep myself focused.
I’ve never been with another woman before, because I always knew that Pike was going to be it.She is it for me. We have our differences and I’m still trying to hold onto the fact that I hate her and her father. But even in hate, she belongs with me, to me. I could not even imagine myself being with anyone else, because it repulsed me.
Regardless I didn’t forget the fact that she’s involved with another player on this team.Tyler Pryce.
He’s a rich cunt, with as much talent as the Zamboni. On the ice, I’d whip that arsehole in a second. It’s just too bad that we play for the same team. But that doesn’t mean I can’t play around with my prey a little.
I see him now as I get a breakaway on the ice. I have the puck and I catch a glimpse of him moving towards me through my peripheral vision and I should be heading straight for the net, but I abandon the fucking puck and instead shoulder-slam myself into Tyler making him fall flat onto the ice. Sometimes my anger tends to take over from whatever little control I have and then I truly can’t stop myself from doing something like this. I get blinded by the rage fueling me. It’s that same pent-up rage that makes it easy for me to lose it on the ice, with Pike. I suck in a deep breath and pull off my helmet. Beads of sweat roll down the back of my neck.
“What the fuck man?” He attempts to stand up but instead, he slips for my amusement. “What did you do that for, Mate? Are you blind?”
“Maybe I am.” I tap my hockey stick against his leg and he glances up at me, before ripping his helmet off. His blue eyes flash with irritation and I would love nothing more than for him to push me, to test my limits. I don’t need that much urging to crush someone’s windpipe. It wouldn’t be the first time.
It would feel so good to smash his cunt face in with my hockey stick until his blood is everywhere, all over me. My trophy would be him choking on his own blood.
I might even be tempted to place the blades from my skates over his fingers. The very same fingers he touchedherwith.
“Stay away from her,” I tell him in a low voice as I point my stick at his face. The warning in my tone is clear and I see the irritation in his eyes shift to anger in a flip second. He knows exactly what I’m talking about. I suppose he isn’t such a dumb cunt after all, but that depends if he knows where his boundaries lie.
“Why, are you fucking her or something?” Tyler asks.
I shrug and skate away from him, but not before I glance over my shoulder and say, “Something like that, Mate. Stay away, Tyler or I’ll fucking break all your knuckles.”
We play for another half hour, with Tyler watching me the entire time, possibly wondering what the fuck I meant.
I’d love to tell him that, yes, I fucked my dear sister and that yes, I enjoyed fucking her so deep before I came inside of her. I enjoyed tasting her sweet come on my fingers and I enjoyed sucking on those pretty, pink nipples of hers. I enjoyed hearing her moans because it’s what keeps me hard at night.
When we’re done, we get off the ice and head straight for the locker room. There are rolls of hockey tape and pieces of it thrown about everywhere on the floor, so I pick one up and re-tape the blade of my stick so I don’t have to tape it tomorrow, while Coach Hutton comes in to talk technique with us.
“I don’t want any fucking around on Friday night,” he says, making sure to look at me, because he saw what I did earlier. “You can fuck around as much as you want during training hours, but Friday, I want all of you doing your best or I’m going to bench you bastards for the next two games and I don’t care whose Father will be in to see me about this. You want to be the best, you play your fucking best. See the beauty in the game. Remember why you chose to play it.”
Coach Hutton’s words play in my head even after he leaves and the guys joke around by mocking him.
See the beauty in the game. Remember why you chose to play it.
I used to love everything about playing hockey. I dreamed of leaving and making it big in the NHL. Those dreams could be true but in another life for another man. I’ve been lost for so long that I’ve forgotten my purpose in life. What do I know?Love, hate, anger. Those are all just words to me now and it’s too late to find the person I was. He’s lost somewhere deep inside of me, tangled in all the dark shit I’ve ever experienced.
I think of all the things I have done since I arrived in Columbus, all the things I’ve done to Pike and sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach that I could hurt her like that. But then I remember everything I’ve been through and I go back to hating. She didn’t have it as bad as I did.
