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I thought I wanted him enough. I mean I do because that is the same reason I decided to go along with this in the first place. But as far as sex goes, I think we’ll just be sticking to the kissing part for now. I’m not going to force myself to enjoy something I’m not sure I entirely want yet.
“I cannot do this today,” I say, as I push him back again so that I can move up from beneath him.
Thankfully, he gets the hint and moves off from above me, before stepping back and leaning against the row of ash-blue lockers.
“Pike,” he says and rubs his hand across his clean-shaven jaw.
Tyler looks like your typical good-looking, next-door English lad who has a big home, with his Mum always baking and his family always going on family vacations to London at their fancy home in the country. I know it is very specific, but only because it is very true. He’s never had to worry about looking out of place or going home and being terrified to sleep at night.
His dirty, beach-blonde hair is short and he has really stunning aquamarine eyes. Add his clean-shaven, chiselled jaw and broad shoulders and you have perfection. Perfection that a lot of girls and boys would like to have around them all day.
“What do you want?” he asks in that deep accented voice of his that gives away his Irish ethnicity. “I thought you were ready to finally…you know?”
“Have sex?” The words tumble out of my mouth more bluntly than I intend for them to come out. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just not in the spirit today.”
I thought I was ready today too. I just wanted something else to think about other than the news my father had given me yesterday. This entire week has been shit. Absolute rubbish.
My stomach coils with that odd feeling again and the bile in my throat rises. For the first time in years, my bile is coming up on its own. I don’t need to stick my fingers down my throat and force myself to feel sick.
I get up from the bench and adjust my grey cable-knit, before standing there in front of Tyler, not sure what to say or do.
“When I came to you at the start of the summer, you were down for it. And you know I enjoy spending time with you.” He walks towards me and raises his right hand and I am gazing directly into his beautiful eyes.
He traces my cheek with his warm fingertips briefly and then drops his hand again. “But I thought you wanted more. I’m willing to give you more of me. It’s just that I’m not sure if that’s what you want anymore.”
“I do,” I stupidly blurt out before I can think of anything else smarter to say. “I just have things going on at home that I do not want to deal with.”
That is true. I’m just turning to Tyler to help me forget the shit that I don’t want to deal with.
Tyler grins, showing off his perfect row of white teeth. “I can’t imagine what you’re dealing with. Did Daddy not get his princess something she wanted?”
Tyler’s words irritate me. It’s no secret that my family is one of the most affluent in Columbus. My father’s family comes from old money and even though he could have done anything in the world, his life has always been all about hockey. The Whitlocks are almost as old as the foundations of this town.
But we haven’t always been this way. We haven’t always been able to sustain ourselves without having to worry about food for the next day.Things were dark before. It’s not entirely great now either, but it’s not like how it used to be. That’s why Tyler’s comment annoys me so much. He thinks someone who is sitting with a fortune of old money doesn’t have any problems in the real world.
He can make out from the look on my face that I’m not joking, so he drops the smile and curls his arm around my neck.
“I’m sorry. I can be a real arsehole sometimes. That is not what I meant,” he says, his jaw clenching and then unclenching. “I’m just trying to lighten the dullness in here. I mean we were having fun one second and now you’re all glum.” He rubs the back of my neck gently and grins. “And you’re not very affable when you’re not having fun, Love. I know how you can get all broody.”
You were having fun.
He takes a strand of my black hair and twirls it in between his fingers. “We’re all hanging out at The Bounds later after the game. We have a new guy on the team and he’s on a scholarship, so he’s good,” Tyler says. " We’re going to celebrate tonight. Are you going to be there? There’ll be a keg and probably shitty drugs, but it’ll be fun. You know I’ll never be happy unless you’re there.”
I nod silently. Maybe that’s exactly what I should do tonight. Besides, The Bounds is one of my few favourite places in Columbus.
It’s the one place I can truly forget my shitty life for a minute and just exist. It’s the one place that I am reminded ofhim.
“I’ll be there,” I tell Tyler and then leave the locker room.
It’s late. It’s already 5:33 p.m. and I should have been home hours ago. But that means going back and facing my father and he’s going to want to talk. And I don’t want to talk right now. Not about anything.
I wait outside the black iron-cast gates of St. Charles after I call Greg, our chauffeur. He shows up fifteen minutes later in our sleek black Rolls Royce. I get in the black and we head home silently. Pressing my head against the cold, misted window, I watch as the silver-edged clouds in the sky grow darker and heavier, something ominous lurking in its shadows, indicating that a vicious storm is on its way to Columbus.
3
PIKE: CHAPTER III
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