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Noah registered the faint frown of concern on Jax’s brow and the note of worry in his voice and hurried to explain.
“I was just thinking about all the issues that this invitation opens up for both of us.”
Jax stopped him when they got to his truck, backing him up against the driver side door. “Issuessuch as?”
“Well,” Noah began, swallowing hard. “What if my showing up with you raises questions about our relationship back when I was still your student? Do we want to go there? Are we ready to face the possibility of it finally coming out that we were an item for a while back then? How will that affect your reputation here now, in this new place? Can you afford to be seen as the older guy who preys on his students? What if they make assumptions about why you left your last post?”
He could hear himself getting worked up as the thoughts raced through his mind. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Jax’s career in any way. Just because he was lost professionally and didn’t see any real hope for participating in the thing he loved in the way he wanted to, it didn’t mean he didn’t care about his lover’s prospects. Jax was a distinguished professor of music in a prestigious school, with a solid academic and performance record and many awards to his name. A scandal now, just when he was starting over somewhere else, would be a black mark against him.
Jax smiled at him. “I love that you’re worried about me. And those are definitely some important considerations. I’m happy with whatever you decide to do, Noah. We’re in this together, one way or the other.”
Their lips met as if they’d been having a separate conversation from their owners and had agreed that they needed to taste each other. Noah let Jax take the kiss deeper, releasing the tension that had been building in his shoulders. Everything would be fine. He would make the best decision for the two of them because he knew that he had Jax’s full support. When his lover ended the kiss, Noah smiled, shakinghis head.
“What?” Jax askedcuriously.
“I’m just thinking about the irony,” Noah replied. “All those years ago, it wasyouputting on the brakes, keeping our relationship out of the public eye. This time, I guess it’smy turn.”
Jax pulled away to look him in the eye. “So is that a no to the invitation?”
Noah nodded. “It is. We’ve just found each other again, and you’ve just landed this new job. I think adding me to that mix won’t help you, and I’m not sure I’m ready to have a spotlight on me yet. It’s for the best if you go by yourself.” He held Jax’s gaze, needing him to understand. “I’m not rejecting you, okay? I’m protecting you. Just like you did for me back then.”
“It’s not exactly the same, though, is it?” Jax sighed. “I broke your heart when I let you go. But you’re not breakingmine now.”
Noah pouted, pretending to be hurt. “So, you’re saying you’re not even alittlebit disappointed that you won’t be able to show me off to your fancy academic colleagues?”
“Shut up, you!” Jax read through his act and laughed, leaning in to kiss him again. “I’ll parade you around like arm candy if that’s whatyou want.”
Noah’s face couldn’t contain the grin that split it. “Arm candy, huh? And here I was hoping to be yourboy toy.”
Jax grabbed him by the cheeks and plundered his mouth, the kiss morphed quickly into something that Noah was sure would get them arrested for public indecency if they didn’t call a halt to it at once. He pulled away,panting.
“Now, now, Prof, none of that. We need to take this someplace else. What kind of example is this to be setting for the young’uns?”
Jax raised his head and looked around the parking lot as if he expected to find that they had an audience. Then he looked back at Noah, an amused expression onhis face.
“Thankfully, it’s just you, me, and God out here right now, and I don’t regret a thing I’ve done.” Stepping back, he added, “But you’re right. What I want to do to you is illegal in public. Not that we’ve any place else to play. The Bells are all home now, as isyour dad.”
Real regret colored his final words, and Noah understood. They wouldn’t be alone together any time soon unless they went away together somewhere. They’d just have to cool their jets and be patient. He knew once Jax moved, he’d be able to spend a little more time with him. His summer tutoring was coming to an end, and until he decided what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, he was a free man. Well, as free as his disappointment at not being able to play would allow.
“Maybe we can steal away before you have to go up for work. Where will you stay until the house goesthrough?”
“I believe Dr. Mann said the college has a guest apartment on campus where visitors stay if they’re not in the president’s home. She said I could bunk there for a bit. Or I could just rent an Airbnb until then.”
The idea of spending time alone with Jax cementing their renewed relationship was very appealing to Noah. He’d wait a few more days to see if Jax’s house plans came through before endorsing the Airbnb idea. He didn’t want to seem too eager, especially since he wouldn’t be the one spending money on temporary housing.
“I’ll call you tomorrow when I know what Jim and Annie need from me now,” Jax said when Noah stopped outside the Bell home. “I can’t imagine it will be much now that Annie’s mom is here, but I don’t want to assume.”
“No problem. Talktomorrow.”
He met Jax halfway and they kissed softly as though they’d agreed not to inflame each other. After Jax closed the front door, Noah drove back home, wishing Jax could have come with him. He didn’t think his dad would mind if Jax spent the night, but he wasn’t completely sure about that, and he knew thathewouldn’t be comfortable making love with his dadso close.
Classes kept him occupied most of the next two days, while Jax helped out with the boys so their grandmother could catch her stride and help her daughter heal. He stopped by briefly on the third morning after Annie and baby Joanna returned home, taking the flan he’d made for themas a gift.
“I hope you’ll like this,” he told Annie when her mother invited him into the living room where she was resting with the baby. “And it’s extra delicious when it’s warm.”
“Thanks, Noah. I’m sure we’lllove it.”
Jax walked in just then, making Noah’s heart clench with quiet joy at the sight of him in faded jeans and an old t-shirt, his hair mussed like he’d been running his hand through it.
