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My body is a furnace, and the sweat is dripping off of my forehead. I can’t focus on anything else right now except something that will make this stop.
Packets of pasta? Jars of sauce? There’s a bottle in the back, but when I reach for it, it’s soy sauce. There’s nothing here that can help.
“Fuck!” I shout.
Taking a step back, I look at the chaos in front of me. Every cupboard door is open, food is thrown all over the countertops and floor. Anyone seeing this would think he’s been robbed. Running my shaking hand through my hair, I wonderwhat am I doing?What has happened to me?
I don’t want to drink. I don’t want the torture of weaning myself off again. I just need Dante to go.
Acid burns its way up into my throat, my trembling hands lace around my neck as I try to swallow it down.
Taking a step back, I pick up the glass container and hurl it against the wall while letting out a scream.
I’m so broken and I don’t know how to fix myself.
How do I gethimout of my brain?
Rushing over to the sink, I grab the marble counter and throw up. My stomach heaves as I try to catch my breath. I start to panic when I can’t stop. My whole body quakes as I pull at my hair and thud down onto the floor. The shards of glass scratch into the flesh of my thighs. Bringing my knees up against my chest, I close my eyes.
Dante’s jet-black eyes stare back at me as his hand muffles my mouth to stop my screams. His heavy frame pinning me underneath him. I squeeze my eyes shut, and bile rises up my throat again as I remember the way he ripped off my towel and bit me, drawing blood. Then, the moment he flipped me over and held me down.
“This virgin cunt is mine. Only mine.” The words replay on a loop in my head.And it’s always followed by the pain.
Tormenting me.
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
luca
As I open the front door, her cries echo through the house. I slam it shut and run.
“Rosa!”I choke out her name as I round the corner into the kitchen. She’s curled up on the floor, knees pulled up into her chest, rocking back and forth. Her long dark hair is in tangles, like she’s been knotting it for hours. As I scan the room, it looks like a war zone with stuff strewn everywhere.
Shit, this is bad.
I go to her and drop down onto my knees, pulling her tiny body against mine. Her hands latch onto my white shirt.“I-I can’t get it out of my head,” she sobs, pulling at my collar.“Over and over. He’s all I can see. All I can feel. I can’t take it anymore. I just want this nightmare to end.”
I stroke her wild, dark hair as her tears soak my chest.“Shh little one, everything will be okay. He can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let him.”
I wish I fucking knew whohewas.
“He can and he is. He’s inside my head. If I can’t drink, I can’t get rid of him.”
I wrap my hands around her waist and stand, lifting her with me. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world, her being in my arms.
I take us up to my bedroom, kick open the door and lay her down on my bed. I press the button to lower the black out blinds while tugging off my tie and jacket. I get on the bed next to her, pull her into my side, and stare up at the ceiling.
“This is your safe space. Your sanctuary. And I want to listen. Give me your demons, Rosa. Let them out of your brain and into mine. Let me take some of this pain from you.”
I can’t bear her suffering like this.
And one thing I’ve learned through the years of battling with my own mind is you have to talk about it.I can be her person–someone that will just listen.
“None of this is your fault, Rosa. You can tell me as much or as little as you’d like. Okay?”
Her hand rests lightly on my chest, just above my heart, and it sends my pulse racing. So I flatten my palm over hers and hold it.
We lay there in silence for what feels like a lifetime. Her frantic breathing is the only thing I can focus on.
