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I open the door to grab some more towels and crash straight into Luca’s hard chest.
His large hand catches my elbow, keeping me from falling.
“How was your first session?”He smiles down at me.
“Good.”I take a step back, giving us some distance. But it’s really to stop my skin from overheating from his touch. He scratches the back of his head, a silence clouding us.
“I was going to make some hot chocolates. Want to watch a movie?” He shifts his feet and watches me.
I bite back my smile.“I’d like that.”
By the time I shower and get in my pajamas, Luca has two hot chocolates smothered in whipped cream on the table and a massive bowl of popcorn ready for us. I join him on the sofa and sit on the adjoining cushion. I’m itching to move closer, our bodies are only inches away.
It’s his turn to pick, so I settle in, resting my head on one of his gray cushions.
As my eyes start to flutter closed, I shake my head, trying to combat the exhaustion.
Luca chuckles and I look over to find him watching me with amusement, stuffing popcorn into his mouth. “Not a fan of Superman?” His eyebrows raise as he turns to me.
“Umm, who isn’t a fan of Henry Cavill?”I laugh. “I’m just tired. I think all that talking today drained me.”
“Talking is good, right?”
“Hmm, we didn’t go deep today, just some basics around my habits, how to combat the cravings initially, how to cope with my—” I pause. “—trauma.”
His smile softens, and his warm palm pats my knee. “I’m here if you want to talk. No matter when.”
Tears sting in my eyes. I’ve never had anyone say this to me. But I can’t, I don’t have the words yet.“Thank you, Luca.”
He gives me a sad smile, reminding me just how broken I am. I don’t want people’s sympathy, I just want to feel normal again.
I bring my knees up and cuddle them, turning my attention back to the tv.
“Little one, what’s the matter?” The concern in his voice has the tears I’m holding back almost hurting my cheeks.
I stare at the screen, a blur of pixels at this point, my mind wandering back tothatday. I hug my knees tighter, holding my breath. I can hear Dante’s voice rolling around my brain. Pain starts to radiate from my collarbone with the sensation of his teeth sinking into my flesh.
“Shit.”I squeeze my eyes shut. Dr. Jenkins taught me a technique today–four sides. I take in a deep breath, hold for four and release for four, picturing the sides of the square being drawn. And nothim.
I can faintly hear Luca’s deep voice calling my name, but I zone him out. I block everything out. Focusing only on the whooshing of my breath, picturing it flowing around the square, capturing the rising fear that threatened to erupt. That craving for a hit to hide him.
After a few minutes, I look over at Luca, who’s watching me with interest, his expression warm.
“What was that?”he asks quietly.
I chew on my lip nervously. “It was about to be a little breakdown, but I used the breathing technique Dr. Jenkins taught me. Four sides.”
His face scrunches as one eyebrow raises. “Four sides?”
“Yep. Turns out it kinda works.”Amazingly.
“Tell me how it works? You know, in case I ever have to guide you?”
My heart hammers, my skin flushing as he waits for my response. Dr. Jenkins had me close my eyes and draw the square around my kneecap to visualize the shape. “Can I show you?”
“Of course you can.”He sets the bowl on the coffee table and pauses the movie.
I scoot closer to him, planting my feet on the floor so I’m next to him. I shiver in anticipation as our knees brush.“So I’m going to draw a square around your knee.”
