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“Travelin’ with a Berserker. Don’t need to go the long way.”
She snorts, “You’re nothing against the Alphas of Gang Mountain.” I stagger at the force of her insult, and then stagger again when she lobs the next. “And I don’t feel like getting ripped apart for the second time.”
I roar. It just…bellows out of me. I’ve always had a short temper, but this is more than I can handle. This Omega called Echo might be what finally short-circuits me. Unravels me. Fucking annihilates me. I want to kill every Alpha on Gang Mountain just to prove her wrong and I stop in my tracks. I glance up at the mountain rising in the distance and inhale deeply once, twice, a third time — a technique I learned in my youth, though I ordinarily would count all the way up to ten. Not this time. Don’t have the patience for it. Returning my gaze to her, I fight to decide how to proceed — break her, or prove her wrong?
I take a step towards her, tree roots bending and snapping underneath my boots, and she flinches.
She fucking flinches.
The fight drains out of me, but only by half. Still, it’s enough for me to see straight. Enough for me to be able to read her terror. It pisses me the fuck off and I don’t know how to fix it.
“Not gonna let any Alphas rip into you.”
“Oh right. That honor’s just for you, huh?”
Rage ripples and bends and breaks, just like the roots under my feet, as I plod forward past her, following the longer route she’s taking north, away from the mountain, away from Dark City.One, two… Fuck it.“Didn’t let the Alphas touch you back at the river.”
She doesn’t answer and that pisses me off worse than her insults. And I’m still pissed about it, even as she follows me north, marching in line behind me silently as the day fades to night and we make camp in the middle of a wet fucking swamp.
We have enough rations to last us two weeks comfortably, three if we push it, but she hoards hers like she’s tryna make ‘em last months. I know what she’s doing, can see it in her eyes every time we stop. Three silent nights pass before I bring it up.
“No point in savin’ your rations, Echo.” I lay out a space blanket and unfurl a ratty blanket over it. Smells like wet human hair and I’m not desperate enough to crawl beneath it. I run hot and, if things get bad, can just let my Beast form sleep through the nights for me. He’s never cold underneath all that fur. Same can’t be said for Echo.
She’s got a sleeping bag, but at night I can still hear her shiverin’. It’s her teeth. They clench and occasionally clack when a hard gale clips us. I make us a fire the second night, but the third, it’s too damn wet. Nothin’ to light. And with as little as she’s eaten, it’s no wonder she’s hurtin’. And my venom doesn’t fuckin’ work. Unease trickles through me.
“Why’s that?” she asks. She’s goading me. She doesn’t talk to me unless it’s to provoke, to throw up more walls between us. And right now she’s doin’ a damn good job. The wall between us is six feet deep, topped in barbed wire and surrounded by a flaming moat. No gettin’ through that. Don’t know why I’m fuckin’ botherin’. Should just leave her alone. Do what I said I’d do. Take care of her and tuck her away someplace in Dark City where she can live in isolation. All she is to me is a prize. A way for me to prove that I deserve my seat, that I deserve to have ascended a Berserker.
I open my mouth to tell her that there’s no point in savin’ her rations because she’s not gonna get away from me. Instead, I surprise myself when I tell her, “You’re hurtin’. Can’t heal if you don’t eat.”
She doesn’t answer — and she doesn’t eat. Pisses me the fuck off. I want to cross the ten feet of space that separates her mat from mine, rip her pack open at the seams, take the dried deer meat out and ram it down her fucking throat.
“Fine. Suit yourself.” And just like that, I’ve sunk to her fuckin’ level again.
She turns her back to me and it makes my fingers clench and curl. I don’t know why, but it’s hard for me to stay in my place — on my side of the packs that take the place of a firepit between us. Every instinct in my goddamn body is fightin’ me to get the fuck up and wrap my whole body around her.
Wanna get in that sleeping bag next to her, cram myself in that thing that’s too small for me and definitely too small for two people and keep her warm all night. Even if she hates me. Especially because she hates me. Even if she keeps tryna hoard rations so that when I let my guard down, she can try to run. Or maybe she won’t run. She’s too smart for that. She knows I’d hunt her down. She’s going to have to kill me. Or herself.
The thought makes me feel urgent and paranoid. I glance at her pack, hatin’ it like it’s the one that’s made the threat. I went through it while she slept in the trash pile, clearing it of all weapons, but she’s crafty. There’s a chance she’s sourced more in the meantime or stolen from me in the minutes I’ve slept.
“You tryna starve yourself?”
No response.
“Slow way to die.”
No response.
Sparks ignite at the base of my spine. “Echo, you can’t die. Won’t allow it. You belong to me, you’re my responsibility, I’m your Berserker and it’s my responsibility to ensure your wellbeing.”
“You’re doing a great job.”
I’m gonna fuckin’ kill her. “If you’re waitin’ for a fuckin’ apology, you’ll be waitin’ til you die of fuckin’ starvation.” My pitch has dropped. I roll onto my side to face her. My chest is fallin’ and risin’ more heavily than it was. “Was tryna save your life after you stabbed yourself, heal you from that and bond you quick so other Alphas wouldn’t…”
“Youbitme, you didn’tbondme. You failed at that, too.”Failure. Failure. Failure.The word rings in my head on repeat along with another word, one she didn’t need to say but only because her body language screams it.Unworthy. Unworthy. Unworthy.
I sneer, “That makes two of us, doesn’t it? After I killed the Alphas who came for you from the cities, it took me one fuckin’ day to find you. For all your power and all your confidence it only took me one day to sniff you out…”
“Fuck you.”There. There’s the button I can push…Fuckpushing, I want to rip the damn thing out.
