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I sigh. “Shit.”
“Yeah. She was so happy, and I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. I kept thinking about the baby, and I knew I had to try and make a go of my marriage for the baby’s sake. So I stayed. I told Renée I couldn’t see her again. She texted me occasionally, but we didn’t meet up. I tried, I really did. But Chloe had morning sickness for the first few months, and after that she just didn’t want sex—she said it felt weird while she was pregnant. And then the baby was born, and even a few months after, she still wasn’t interested. I tried to be understanding, and accept she was tired and probably sore, but… I know it makes me a terrible person, but I just kept thinking about how Renée wanted me, and how good she made me feel… And then one day she contacted me again and asked to see me. And I’m only human, Kip. I was lonely, and I know it sounds pathetic and childish and makes me an arsehole, but I was angry with Chloe for not wanting me, and for not taking my needs into account. It had been a whole year since we had sex, and she wasn’t showing any sign of wanting it. And so I went to Renée’s house. And after that, I couldn’t stop.”
“How long before she brought up MOTHER?”
“Not long,” he admits. “Deep down, I knew what she was asking me to do was unethical, and I knew she was using me. But at the time, I told myself I didn’t care. I told myself we had something special, and it was just a coincidence that I worked at Kingpinz. But of course, it wasn’t. When she didn’t get the software, she was very angry. We’ve argued a lot, and it turns out it’s not only your wife who withholds sex when they’re pissed off with you.” His lips twist. “I’ve had a lot of time to think since I left Kingpinz. And last week I finally told her it was over.”
“What did she say?”
“She was shocked. She actually begged me to stay. Physically got down on her knees, which was a first. Once that would have turned me on, but it just sickened me. I walked out there and then, and went straight to a hotel.” He swallows hard. “I’ve acted abysmally, to Chloe, and to you and the others at Kingpinz. I know that.”
I blow out a long breath. “You know we can’t take you back.”
He gives me a long look, disappointment in his eyes. Then he says, “Yeah, I know.”
“Even if I wanted to,” I say, although I don’t—as much as I feel sorry for him, I couldn’t work with the guy again after what he’s done—“Saxon and Damon wouldn’t agree to it.”
“Fair enough.”
“Are you going to try to make it up with Chloe?”
He shakes his head. “She wouldn’t have me back anyway. And I don’t want to go back. Life’s too short to spend it with someone who makes you feel bad for who you are, you know? I need to find someone who loves me for me.”
“Yeah,” I say, thinking about Alice again, and sighing.
“You said your girlfriend had broken up with you,” Craig says. “Who’s that?”
“Her name’s Alice. I met her on Tinder. We’ve been seeing each other for a while, but she lives in Gisborne. She looks after her mum, who’s got M.S.”
“Ah, shit.”
“Yeah. She doesn’t think there’s a way we can be together, but I’m hoping to convince her otherwise.”
A couple of dry leaves drift down from the oak tree to one side of the house. Autumn’s here, and the mornings are growing cooler, although it can still be fairly warm in the afternoons, like it is today. I think of Alice sitting in her garden, watching the rabbits playing on the lawn, and my heart aches for her. I miss her so much.
“Do you love her?” Craig asks.
I nod, and my lips twist.
“Fuck Cupid,” he says.
I give a short laugh. “Yeah. Fuck Cupid.”
“I’ll call the dogs off,” he says. “The lawyers. I’ll cancel the case. I never wanted to do it anyway. It was all Renée’s idea.”
I feel a wave of relief, and give a big sigh. “Thank you. What are you going to do?”
He shrugs. “Probably freelance for a bit.”
“You’re an excellent engineer. You shouldn’t have any trouble finding a job.”
“Yeah.” He hesitates. “I’m sorry it ended the way it did. We’ve been friends for a long time, and I know what I did was wrong.”
“Water under the bridge, dude. Time to move on.”
“I can’t imagine Saxon and Damon saying that.”
I smile. “No, maybe not.”
