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He holds out a hand to me. “Let’s go outside.”
Meekly, my head whirling, I let him pull me up and lead me out into the garden. It’s dark now, and a couple of moths are fluttering around the kitchen window, but there’s enough light for us to see each other clearly, and it’s not cold.
Still standing, he turns me to face him. “What do you think?” he asks.
“I don’t know what to say. I… I’m ashamed Mum feels that Charlie and I didn’t listen to her. She’s right of course. I was determined to make the sacrifice because I thought it was what I should do. But she is still my mother, and she deserves to have a say in it.”
I look down at where he’s holding my hands. “But it’s not easy. It would be a huge change for her to move, and I know that change is one thing she really struggles with. When anything big happens, it always makes her unwell.”
“That’s fair enough, but we’d make sure we did it in small steps so it didn’t become too overwhelming.” He lifts my hands and kisses my fingers. “Whatever you need, we’ll do it.”
I look up, into his eyes. “I really don’t know what to say. It’s so incredibly generous of you. I don’t understand why you’re willing to go to so much trouble.”
He gives me a puzzled look. “Because I love you.”
I frown. “Why?”
That makes him laugh. “All right,” he says, “maybe this will convince you.” He slides a hand into the pocket of his jeans and extracts a small, black velvet box. My eyes widen. He gives me an amused look, then cracks it open. It contains an unusual ring—a large sapphire, surrounded by small diamonds.
“It’s Easter Monday,” Kip says, “and all the shops are shut, and I didn’t have long because I wanted to see you today, so I couldn’t buy you a ring. This was my grandmother’s. I asked Mum for it today. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to, and I’ll happily buy you one of your own tomorrow, but I thought I could use it today.”
He takes it out of the box and leaves the box on the table. Then he lowers down onto one knee. “Alice,” he murmurs, “will you marry me?”
I stare at him. “Huh?”
“Will you be my wife, and come and live with me in Wellington? We’ll choose a lovely home by the sea where your mum can be comfortable, and you can build a brand-new studio there with everything you need. And we’ll have an amazing bedroom with the biggest bed where I can make love to you all night every night.” My jaw drops, and he stifles a laugh. “Say something.”
“I… are you serious?”
He sighs, gets up, and pulls me into his arms. “Of course I’m serious,” he says warmly. “I love you. You’re my best friend. I talk to you every day. I miss you when we’re not together. And when we are… I can’t keep my hands off you. Your body drives me crazy, and I spend hours daydreaming about things I can do with you and to you that will make those lovely innocent eyes widen in shock.”
My lips curve up. “You’re such a naughty boy,” I whisper.
“So will you? Marry me?”
I study his face, looking at the bruise on his cheekbone, his gorgeous brown eyes. I want to say yes…
Panic fills me. He’s doing this wonderful thing, and I should be squealing and throwing my arms around him and sayingYes, yes, yes!But the word won’t come.
I wait for frustration to cross his face, or even anger—I’d understand if it did. But instead, he lowers his head and touches his lips to mine briefly.
“You’ve been through so much,” he says quietly. “You’ve had to cope with your father’s death, and with taking care of your mum, for such a long time. You had to grow up quickly, and make some big decisions, pretty much on your own. And because of all that, I think being in control has become a big part of your life, because it’s the only way you’ve been able to cope. But I’m trying to say that you don’t have to do it on your own anymore.”
I swallow hard. Give up control? I don’t know if I can do that.
“I’m sure during those first few years after your dad died, when your mum was diagnosed,” he says, “she leaned very heavily on you. But she understands that her disease isn’t going away. She’s learned to live with it. And I think she needs to take back a little of that control. It’s not a criticism of you at all—she totally needed you to take charge. But she’s ready to claw a little of her life back. I know she doesn’t make friends easily, and she’s chosen to isolate herself here, but she talked to me about getting out a little more, meeting women of her own age, maybe even taking a few classes or something.”
I stare at him, shocked that the two of them have discussed this in detail. There’s obviously something about Kip that encourages people to talk. Maybe it’s because he’s not judgmental, or just that he’s willing to listen.
“I wouldn’t dream of telling you how to live your life,” he tells me. “You’ve done such an amazing job with your mum, and with practically bringing up Charlie single-handedly. But now you have me, maybe you can think about having a life of your own. Ofourown? Think about what you’d like to do with your life, Alice, if you could do anything you wanted? Would you like to go to university? You haven’t had the chance before. Or you could throw yourself into Wonderland and take it to the next level—take it out on the road, travel around New Zealand, go to the States! Meet your fans. Interview authors face to face. On your own, or with me if you like. I’d love to be a part of it.”
Tears pour down my face again. “Oh, Kip…”
“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” he says. “It’s up to you. Do you want to share my bed? To make love to me whenever you want? Do you want to have my baby growing inside you?”
I cover my mouth and nod. “I do.”
“Do you want to wear a beautiful white dress in church, and promise our friends and family, before God, to love me and cherish me for the rest of our lives?”
