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“Jesus Christ.” Saxon massages his temples with a hand.
“Did she?” Kip asks.
“I think so.”
“Ah, jeez.”
“Don’t say anything, obviously. But it shocked me. I know these things happened in the past, but even so… It’s why I spoke to Lewis. I felt I should, you know? But I came on too heavy, and now I’m sure I’ve made things harder for Jessica.”
“I’m sure he was shocked and embarrassed,” Saxon says. “But hopefully he’ll calm down when he’s had time to think about it. Sometimes guys don’t realize when they’re coming on too strong. It’s better that he knows and is more self-conscious about it.”
I’m not so sure, but there’s no point in talking about it.
“Damon,” Kip warns, “don’t obsess about this. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Yeah, right. I’m going back to work.”
“Damon…”
But I walk out, leaving them to it. I’m angry with myself for screwing it up. I meant well, but that’s not a good enough excuse.
I remember Belle telling me that she didn’t need rescuing. She yelled no and stop, though. How would I have felt if I’d left her to it, assuming she didn’t want my help, and then discovered that he’d raped her?
Angry and confused, I drop my laptop off in my office, then head out. I need a walk through the park to calm down. And then I’m going to lock myself in my office and lose myself in my work.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Damon
One p.m. on Thursday finds me walking into the café in our national museum, Te Papa. I stop and look around, and finally spot my cousin, Kennedy, sitting over by the window, with baby Eddie in a highchair, who’s banging a spoon on the tray.
Grinning, I walk over to them. “Hey you two.”
“Hey,” she says, rising to give me a kiss. Eddie bangs enthusiastically, and she huffs a sigh and turns to take the spoon away from him with her fake hand. His face crumples. “Do you want it back?” she asks him. “Because you can only have it back if you stop banging.” He pouts, then holds out his hand, and she gives it back to him. He pokes his tongue out at her, and I laugh.
“Don’t encourage him,” she scolds.
“You want anything?” I ask, gesturing at the table. She’s already got a coffee.
“I’ve got a toasted sandwich coming. I’m good, thanks.”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a minute.” I go over and order myself a toasted ham and cheese sandwich and a latte, pay for them, then take my number back to the table and sit opposite her.
“It’s good to see you,” she says, taking out a small plastic box and popping off the lid. It holds sticks of carrot, cheese, and small crackers. She puts it in front of Eddie, and he promptly helps himself. “It’s been a while.”
“Too long,” I tell her, smiling. “My fault. I was down in Christchurch for Gaby and Tyson’s wedding, and it’s been busy at work.”
“Kip said Saxon’s only half there,” Kennedy comments. “I’ve heard it said that each pregnancy destroys twenty-five percent of the mum’s brain, but Kip said the same thing’s happening to Saxon.”
“He’s stressed. He blew up in a Zoom call yesterday. Swore at Mack and told him to pull his effing finger out and get the effing program finished.” Even though Eddie’s not talking yet, I’m trying not to swear around him.
“Oh, shoot. What did Mack say?”
“Luckily he knows him well. He just said, ‘You wanna take five, Sax?’ We ended the call and sent everyone out. Saxon got a bit emotional. Said he was worried he’s going to be a bad father. He doesn’t want to let Catie down.”
“Aw, he won’t do that. He’s going to be a great dad.”
