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She shrugs and smiles.
My gaze settles on her lips. “I just hope you’ll let me return the favor when we get back to our room.”
“You’ve already given me one orgasm,” she murmurs. “I was returning the favor.”
“That’s not how it works. Everything you do for me gets returned tenfold.”
Her gaze caresses my face. “I love that you’re so giving, but you don’t have to do that.”
“I do.”
“Receiving pleasure is an important part of sex, Damon.”
“I know.”
“And it makes me feel good to make you feel good.”
“I know. I’m not saying I’m so altruistic that I don’t enjoy a good climax.” I watch her lips curve up, and smile.
I glance out through the window to the view of Hagley Park. The sun has set, and the trees are shrouded in darkness. Solar lamps along the path in front of the hotel illuminate the dry leaves that are dancing across the grass, whipped up by the autumn breeze.
Should I say anything? It’s a tough subject for me to talk about. But something tells me that if anyone is going to understand, it’s Belle.
I return my gaze to my glass and swirl the wine around. “What happened today in the bedroom was… unusual, though.” I clear my throat. “Sometimes I have difficulty… um… achieving an erection that quickly. It’s why I like giving pleasure first.”
I stop talking, studying my glass. Then, eventually, I lift my gaze to hers.
She doesn’t look frustrated, angry, or exasperated. She just looks interested.
“So why didn’t you have an issue today?” she asks.
“You took me by surprise.” My gaze drops to her mouth. “You were very good at it.” Her lips curve up.
We study each other for a while. Her gaze is gentle, thoughtful.
“On the night of the wedding…” she says eventually. “You didn’t seem to have any issues then. When I lay on top of you, you had an erection.”
“It’s easier the first time with a girl. It’s been more of a problem in my relationships.”
“It was an issue with Rachel?”
I drop my gaze back to my glass. “Yeah.” I scratch the back of my head. “She liked to have sex on the spur of the moment. You know, to sneak off into bathrooms and cupboards. Especially in public places. And I can’t perform like that. She didn’t understand and saw it as a sign that I was becoming less interested in her. We argued about it a lot. We were close to breaking up, and then she pulled the proposal stunt, because she was frightened about losing the money.”
“Is that why you prefer one-night stands now? Because there are no expectations? You don’t have to explain, and you can go at your own pace?”
“Yeah.”
“So why did you ask to see me again?”
I lift my gaze back to hers. “Because I missed you.” I say simply. “But I thought you should know, because I don’t know if I can be fixed.”
She reaches out and takes my hand. “You can’t be fixed because you’re not broken. You’re not a robot, Damon. So you prefer a little warming up before you get into the action? That doesn’t make you less than a man.”
“Yeah, but men are supposed to be so horny that they’re ready at the drop of a hat, right?”
“Maybe men who haven’t been through what you’ve been through. You held Kennedy in that cave, when she was crying and hurt, and you couldn’t stop her pain. That obviously affected you deeply. Have you had therapy?”
“Yeah, my parents took all three of us when we were young. I went a few years ago, too, when I was having trouble with Rachel.”
