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But even though it sounds incredible to me, I know it stems from a place of insecurity for him. He feels guilty for taking his enjoyment before he’s pleasured his partner repeatedly. It might be a positive thing for me, but it makes me incredibly sad. He was embarrassed and ashamed to admit that this guilt means it takes him time to get aroused. We expect guys to get instant erections and call them pussies if they need romancing.
I don’t mind at all if he needs to make me come first. I decide then and there to make it my life’s work to show him that he’s as entitled to pleasure as I am, and that we deserve it equally.
I like doing the praising, although I’m not averse to a compliment or two, he told me on the ferry. I want to make him feel good, and to show him how much I like doing this with him. On the website, a lot of the men who were interviewed said they liked it when their girls were vocal—when they said what they were enjoying, and especially if they talked dirty. I’ve always been self-conscious of sounding silly in the past by giving theatrical moans, but this feels so great that I don’t have to fake it.
Gathering my courage, I slide my hand beneath the duvet, slip my fingers into his hair, and caress it. “That feels amazing,” I whisper, closing my eyes as he licks me slowly. “Oh my God, Damon, how do you know exactly what to do to drive me crazy?”
He murmurs something, then circles the tip of his tongue over my clit. I give a long, heartfelt moan, and I feel his fingers tighten on my thigh. Oh… he likes that.
So for a while, as he licks and sucks, and I descend into my own version of subspace, I throw off my self-consciousness and let myself express just how much he’s driving me crazy.
“Oh Jesus, that’s fantastic…” I tell him, unable to stop my hips rocking to meet each thrust of his fingers as he adds them to the mix. “You make me feel incredible… Mmm… Ah, I’m so sensitive there… It’s going to feel amazing when you’re inside me… Oh Damon that’s so fucking good… Oh yeah, fuck me with your fingers, just like that…”
With another sexy growl, he suddenly rears up, making me jump. Leaning over to the bedside table, he collects a condom and rips off the packaging.
“You’re driving me crazy,” he says, his voice hoarse. “I want you to come while I’m inside you.” He tugs off his underwear, releasing an impressive erection.
Thrilled, I watch him roll the condom on, then position himself between my legs and insert the tip of his erection inside me. “Ready, baby girl?” he whispers. When I nod, he pushes forward and slowly slides inside me.
I groan and stretch out under him, reveling in the sensation. “Ah, Jesus, yeah…” I purr like a cat. “You fill me to the brim. Ah that’s so sexy…” I slide my hands up his chest and around to his back, dig my nails in just a little, and score them down. His breath hisses through his teeth. “You like that, baby?” I murmur, and do it again. “You feel so good inside me. Oh yeah… come on… fuck me properly…”
Beginning to thrust, he lowers down to kiss me, and when he talks, his tone is amused. “Have you been taking lessons in how to drive your man mad with lust?”
My man? His words thrill me, but I don’t react. “Is that a complaint?” I tease.
“Nope.” He slides his tongue into my mouth, and we kiss long and leisurely while he moves inside me.
“Mmm…” I slide my hands down to his butt. “You have a magnificent body,” I murmur, feeling his muscles flexing as his hips move. “You’re so gorgeous, Damon.”
He kisses me again. “And you’re so fucking beautiful.”
“Does it feel good to be inside me, baby?”
“Yeah… You’re so soft, so wet…”
“That’s all you, baby. That’s what you do to me. You turn me on so much.”
He continues to kiss me, and our breaths mingle as we both sigh.
Mmm… this is amazing, but I want to fire him up, and it makes me think of something he said in the car on the way to Christchurch:having sex from behind is awesome—it makes the guy more dominant, which I like. I told him I wasn’t keen on it, so I’m sure he’s going to be hesitant to suggest anything I’m not sure of, but I want to turn him on.
“Damon,” I murmur.
“Mmm?”
“Can I ask you something?”
He lifts his head, surprised. “Sure.”
“Will you take me from behind? You said you liked it, and I want to try it.”
His lips curve up. He kisses my nose. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
He kisses my lips. “Okay.” He withdraws carefully, holding the condom, and moves to the side. “Turn over,” he says softly.
I lift up onto all fours, but to my surprise, he says, “No, lie down on your front.”
