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“I wouldn’t say no to any position if she really wanted to try it,” he says.
“What’s your favorite?”
He shrugs. “Girl on top. It’s easier for her to achieve an orgasm that way.”
Heat rushes through me as if I’ve drunk a cup of lava. He says it so casually. My gaze lingers on him. The sleeves of his gray tee cling to impressive biceps. I can still smell his cologne, along with the car leather—subtle, masculine scents.
“Although,” he says, and I realize he’s still considering his favorite position, “from behind is awesome—it makes the guy more dominant, which I like. But missionary takes some beating. Nice to look into a girl’s eyes as you… make love to her.”
“You were going to say ‘as you fuck her.’”
“Yeah,” he admits. “Sorry.”
“No, keep going. You’re teaching me a lot.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment.” He gives me an amused look. “What’s your favorite position?”
I look back at my phone. “I don’t know, really. I haven’t tried that many. I… wasn’t super keen on all fours. Is it silly to say I didn’t find it very romantic?”
“No, not at all. It is… ah… mechanical, shall we say. Not everyone enjoys sex hard and fast. There’s nothing wrong with liking it gentle, Belle. Just make sure you tell the guy.”
I nod and look at the next section. “This is about porn. Watching it together or making your own. Um… well, I’ve never watched any, so I don’t really know. I guess you, ah, think it’s okay?”
“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t watched any.”
“You like watching it with a partner?”
“Yeah, if she wants to. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, though, and that’s okay. Would you like to try watching some?”
“Maybe. I’m not sure.” My heart picks up speed. “I don’t know how I feel about it. What’s it like? Is it very matter of fact? I can’t imagine it being sexy. It seems a bit… cold—people doing it for money, you know?”
“Well, there’s a very wide range. You do get some that’s more romantic, and of course nowadays a lot of couples upload their own, so it’s not all acted. The thing is, if your partner makes you feel loved and respected, sex can be a place where you explore the more… earthy side of your relationship. Does that make sense?”
“Um… not really.”
“If you were with a guy you adored, and sex with him was fantastic, then maybe you’d enjoy exploring different things with him gradually, one at a time. On their own, some sex stuff can seem cold, as you say, or even scary, but with someone you love, you might find yourself turned on by all sorts of things you can’t imagine right now.”
“I can’t imagine ever getting turned on by a butt plug.” The words come out before I can vet them, and my face heats again.
He doesn’t laugh, though. He sends me a glance before returning his gaze to the road. “You can tell me to mind my own business,” he says eventually, “but did Cole do something to you that you didn’t want done?”
I chew my bottom lip. I haven’t told anyone this, not even Jo. But there’s something about Damon and this night that loosens the padlock I’d placed on my mouth. In the car, it feels dark and warm and secret and intimate, and I feel safe with him. And I’m never going to get this opportunity to talk about things so frankly again.
“He wanted us to do anal,” I admit. “I wasn’t keen, but he kept pushing me. He said the best way was to start with a toy, and so he bought one, and one night he just started using it on me. I didn’t like it, so he held me down and…” I stop at the look on his face. “I told him to stop, and eventually he did, and he got angry and said I was being prudish. We had a huge row. That’s when I walked out.”
Damon’s mouth is in a thin line. “Please, please tell me he used lube or oil or something.”
“A bit of… um… spit. Do you think that’s why it hurt so much?”
“That motherfucker. I’m going to smash his fucking teeth down his fucking throat.”
I stare at him, taken aback by his vitriolic reaction.
“Are you all right?” he asks. “Now, I mean. He didn’t do any serious damage?”
I smile. “No, I’m okay. It stung for a few days, but it’s fine now.”
“Jesus Christ.”
