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He stood up so fast that I flinched, pushing his chair back before striding right past me, opening the door.
‘Where are you going?’ I asked.
‘To the hotel,’ he barked.
I watched him leave and sat down on the chair. I blinked away the tears, determined not to cry. He hadn’t stayed at the hotel alone in over seven months, not since the night we’d consummated our marriage. That was the place where he’d taken all of his other women before me.
The thought that he might seek comfort in the arms of one of those women tonight forced itself into my brain. I didn’t believe he was capable of that, did I?
He was angry and drunk. But maybe it was more than that? Maybe he really did regret marrying me? Maybe our honeymoon period was officially over? Had I been a complete fool to think that I could hold the attention of a man like Alejandro before some other woman caught his eye again?
I wandered back to bed and lay awake in the dark. My stomach churned and all I wanted was for him to climb into bed beside me the way he usually did and wrap me in his arms. That was the place I felt most myself. It was the place I felt safe. It was home.
CHAPTER 37
ALEJANDRO
I lay in the dark listening to the sound of my own heartbeat pounding in my ears. I saw her face every time I closed my eyes.
‘Do you regret marrying me?’ she’d asked.
No. Not even for a heartbeat. So why hadn’t I told her that? Why had I just sat there and let her believe that wasn’t the truth?
Because I was a selfish cabrón. Because loving her made me feel exposed. I worried about her every second of every day. That someone might hurt her because of me made me feel like someone constantly had a knife to my heart. And so I wanted her to have some idea of how that felt.
I still had no idea who was behind my father’s attempted murder and the fact that some madman was out there with a desire to hurt my family terrified me. Guilt, shame and anger ate me up day and night and I had taken it all out on the one person I loved more than anything else in the world. The one person I was most terrified of losing.
I should have followed her up to bed. I should have pulled off her clothes, pinned her to the bed and buried myself in her. That was the way we resolved our issues. That was what grounded me.
I needed her. So why the hell was I lying alone in bed halfway across the city?
Even my cock was weeping for her. I reached down and wrapped my fist around my shaft, squeezing tightly for some relief. Wishing it was her hands on me. Wishing that it was her tight, hot pussy squeezing me instead of my own hand.
I closed my eyes and pictured her lying in bed. Was she thinking about me too? Touching herself in those places that belonged to me? I moved my hand up and down, stroking my length as I remembered how sweet she tasted. How she was always willing to let me do anything I wanted to her. No matter how hard or rough, or often I fucked her, she always took it all. My chest burned with anger, shame and arousal as I kept pumping my shaft, imagining it was her.
When I finally found my release, I shouted her name into the darkness.
CHAPTER 38
ALANA
I smiled at Lucia as the sonographer rolled the small machine over her stomach and showed us the images of her unborn child on the screen.
‘Oh look, Alana,’ she said with tears in her eyes. ‘He’s perfect.’
I took hold of her hand and squeezed tightly. ‘He certainly is, sweetheart,’ I said with a smile. Seeing her baby on the screen was the perfect antidote to the completely crappy start I’d had to my day.
Alejandro had been true to his word and had stayed at his hotel all night. I had hardly slept, foolishly hoping that he would come home and slip into bed beside me. When he hadn’t, I had wondered again if someone else had slipped into his bed — our bed – at the hotel instead.
Sex was his favorite way to unwind and deal with stress, and if he wasn’t doing it with me, then was he looking elsewhere?
‘Would you like some photographs?’ the sonographer asked, breaking my train of thought.
‘Yes, please. We’ll need three, won’t we?’ Lucia replied. ‘One each for me and Alana, and one for Alejandro.’
I nodded at her. ‘Yes, that would be nice,’ I said as my mind drifted back to our argument the previous night. I had outright asked if Alejandro regretted marrying me and he had just sat there staring at me, as though he didn’t want to admit the truth. And then I had only gone and made the whole situation worse by suggesting that I regretted our marriage, when that couldn’t be further from the truth.
I had checked my phone a dozen times that morning, hoping for a text or a call, but I had heard nothing from him.
