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“Lucia,” I say and her name almost gets caught in my throat. “Last night was…”
She blinks at me, her eyes searching my face for what? Approval? Validation? And isn’t that what I get off on? I should tell her it was a mistake, but I can’t. “Incredible,” I finish and right there is the moment I have just fucked up her life, because that smile, it’s one I never want another man to see. It’s mine!
“You’re incredible. But you and me can never happen,” I say with a heavy sigh.
“Because of my father?” she whispers.
“Yes,” I admit but as much as that is true, it’s not the only reason. “And because I’m way too old for you, Lucia.”
“You’re only thirty-seven,” she frowns at me.
“Yeah, and you’re only twenty-one, Angel. You have your whole life ahead of you.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and I bite back a smile because it is good to see the feistiness in her again. “You say that like you’re some decrepit old man, Jax. You still have your whole life too.”
My hand runs up her arm and her nipples harden beneath the flimsy fabric of her dress so I drop it to my side before my cock starts to take over the show. “But I have lived so much more than you have. I have done—”
“You mean you’ve screwed around?” she snaps.
“That’s not what I meant, but yes, there is that.” I narrow my eyes at her. “Can we not just see last night for what it was?”
“And what was that?”
There she is again, searching my face for some validation. This time I can’t give it to her. “A night of amazing sex between two consenting adults?” Fuck! Could I have worded that any fucking worse than I just did?
“You’re an asshole, Jax,” she says. A tear runs down her cheek and she wipes it away with her hand, then turns on her heel and walks out of the room.
My instincts tell me to run after her and wrap her in my arms. My cock tells me to carry her back to bed and put that smart mouth of hers to better use.
I do neither, thinking with my head, which is after all what I do ninety-nine percent of the time. So why didn’t I last night? Why didn’t I let her go home with that guy from the club? Maybe he could offer her something I can’t? But something about seeing his hands on her, the way she looked at him, it overpowered every single rational thought in my brain.
CHAPTER 14
LUCIA
As soon as the text alert flashes up on my cell phone, I walk through Jax’s huge open plan living area and toward the door. I’ve been hiding out on his deck while he got a shower and dressed. I wish it was as easy for me to wash away what we did last night. Why did I even for one second consider that I meant any more to him than any of the dozens of women he brings home on a regular basis? Why was I naïve enough to think that I could be just like him and pretend that sex isn’t a big deal for me?
I’ve never been able to separate emotions from sex. I wish that I could. It’s why I’ve never done the whole casual hook up thing before. Why I had to prove that theory with Jax of all people I don’t know, but it was complete lunacy on my part. As if I didn’t already spend enough time thinking about the guy and now I know that he is some kind of sex wizard too. He did things to my body and made me feel things that I didn’t even know were possible. What if I never have sex like that again for the rest of my life?
“Where are you going, Luce?” Jax’s voice cuts across the room. Does he want me to stay? “I can take you home.” No, of course he doesn’t. Don’t be ridiculous, Lucia!
“Archer is waiting outside for me,” I say, trying to sound cool and calm while my stomach is churning and my heart is breaking.
“Oh? Right,” he runs a hand through his hair and I look away from him so he doesn’t see the hurt on my face and realize who I really am—just some naïve little girl with a huge crush on him.
“Bye, Jax.”
“Bye, Luce.”
A few moments later, I climb into Archer’s car and he wraps an arm around me and gives me a quick kiss on my forehead. “I’m sorry, baby girl,” he says.
“Thank you,” I say as I fasten up my seatbelt. “Can we get out of here?”
“Course,” he replies and pulls the car away from the curbside. “I saw you leave with him last night and I was so freaking psyched for you, Lu. Was it awful?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I almost wish it was, then I could forget about it.”
“Oh no. Was it good?” He looks at me with huge puppy dog eyes.
