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I arch an eyebrow at her and she chews on her lip.
“I mean. I really didn’t want to pee on you, but—”
“But?”
“You told me to let go and I trusted you. That’s a big deal for me,” she whispers. “I have never trusted anyone like that before.”
“I am fucking honored that you trust me, baby,” I say before I kiss her forehead. “You have no idea how much it means to me that you do.”
“Hmm,” she mumbles as she nestles her head against my chest. “We need to take a shower and change the sheets.”
“Soon.” I wrap my arm around her. “Right now, I’m enjoying lying here in a pool of your cum.”
“Jax,” she giggles.
“But that’s exactly what it is,” I laugh. “Did you enjoy your first ass fucking?”
“Yes,” she whispers. “I love you, Jax.”
“I love you too,” I say as I stroke her hair. She’s far too good for me, but now that she’s mine, I’m never letting her go.
I wake in the night with Lucia lying on me. I don’t mean lying next to me, snuggled against my chest like she usually is, I mean actually lying on top of me, her arms and legs wrapped around me like a koala grips a tree. My chest feels damp too. Has she been crying?
“Lucia, baby. Are you okay?” I whisper in case she’s asleep.
“I lied to you, Jax,” she says.
“What are you talking about?” I brush her hair back from her face and her cheek is wet with tears.
“That wasn’t my first time.”
I sit up in bed, bringing her with me and scooping her up until she is sitting on my lap. What the hell hasn’t she told me? I resist the urge to fire questions at her while she’s upset, knowing it might only push her away.
“Talk to me, Angel,” I say instead as I wrap my arms around her.
“It was the first time I wanted to do it, Jax.” She looks up at me with her huge brown eyes wet with her tears and I can’t help squeezing her tighter as every muscle in my body tenses. “I’ve done it once before, though.”
“Okay,” I whisper, trying to keep my voice steady and calm and not betray the anger that is bubbling in my chest.
“It was my thirteenth birthday. My oldest brother, Luca.” She shudders at the mention of his name and I swear if that cunt wasn’t already dead I would make him feel pain like he had never imagined possible. “When I was younger him and Sammy, well they would bully me and hit me and stuff, but when I got older and started you know, filling out, Luca started to look at me different. I didn’t know what it was at first, just that it made me feel really uncomfortable. I used to do whatever I could to avoid him.” She draws in a shaky breath and I sit in silence while I wait for her to go on, even though I know what she’s going to tell me and the anger that I feel burns me from the inside out.
“He would corner me sometimes and press up against me, rubbing his dick on me. I used to try to fight him off, but he was so much bigger than me. He said it was my fault because I provoked him. I tried to do everything not to, but no matter how I dressed or how quiet I was, he would always find a reason to do it. I kind of got used to it, you know?” She blinks at me.
No, I don’t know how it feels to have to get used to your older brother groping you every chance he got, but I don’t say that. “Go on, baby,” I say instead.
“This night, he’d been out drinking and I was reading in the den. I didn’t get many presents but an old friend of my mom’s bought me the Harry Potter books from the thrift store and I was so engrossed reading them that I stayed up too late.”
My heart feels like it is going to break into a million pieces for her. Everything about what she just said makes me want to protect her and spoil her for the rest of her goddamn life.
“I must have fallen asleep because I woke up and he was pulling my jeans off.” She takes another deep breath and my knuckles feel like they might pop out of my skin from how hard my fists are clenched.
“I fought, Jax. I tried but he was so strong. I scratched his face and he slapped me and called me a tease. The next thing I knew he was on top of me, his breath stinking of beer and his big ugly hands pulling at my panties. I told him I was on my period and he laughed at me. He said he would never fuck me anyway because I was disgusting and that he couldn’t even bear to look at me. That was when—” She gulps loudly, a deep sob bubbling up from her throat and I pull her tighter to me, pressing my lips against her temple.
“It’s okay, baby. There’s only you and me here,” I whisper.
She nods at me, tears running freely down her cheeks. “He turned me onto my stomach and then he pushed it inside me. It hurt so much, I thought I was going to die. It felt like a hot poker pulling my insides out. I didn’t even know you could do that there. God, I was so naïve,” she says with a shake of her head.
“No. You were thirteen. You shouldn’t have known about that.”
