Page 6 of Love and Defects

A growl rumbled through my chest, and before I even realized what I was doing, I was skating up to Sterling to close the distance between us. Gripping the back of his neck, I didn’t even give myself a chance to warn him with nonverbal cues before I was bringing my face closer to his, but I stopped right before my lips met his. I wouldnotcontribute to the darkness in his mind. I refused to, no matter how badly I wanted to put Darren in his place.

Sterling was the one who closed the remaining distance between us, his lips softly pressing on mine. Every part of my body came alive at the feel of his smooth, warm mouth against mine. Moaning low in my throat, I gently tugged him closer, my heart racing in my chest.

Kissing Sterling was everything I had hoped it would be. And yet, it was still so much more. My lungs expanded, and it felt like every color in the world suddenly became brighter. My heart grew so much, I thought it was going to burst out of my chest.

“Fuck,” Sterling whispered once we finally pulled apart to breathe. I stared at him, my soul just about ready to explode. I was so in love with him. So deep. There was no crawling out of this.

Sterling had the power to fucking destroy me. And honestly, I would let him if it meant I got to be his for even just aminuteof my life. Hell, even just a meresecond.

I turned to Darren, a smirk curving my lips. “Oh, he gets plenty hard,” I lied to Darren, wanting to bruise his ego. It was too damn big anyway. And he was a fucking dick for making Sterling feel like less of a man for having ED. “Turns out you just didn’t do it for him.”

Sterling’s lips parted in surprise. Darren’s face turned red, and muttering something under his breath I couldn’t hear, he skated off the ice, no doubt heading to the locker room. I turned back to Sterling. “What time is it?” I asked him.

“Almost seven,” he told me. I grimaced. God, it really was late, and Sterling needed to eat.

“Let me get changed,” I told him, “and then we’ll go grab food, yeah?”

He swallowed thickly, nodding his head at me. “And talk about that kiss?” he asked quietly, his nerves clear in his voice. God, I loved how brave he was. How he faced everything in life head-on, even if it made him nervous or scared.

I nodded. “Definitely talking about that kiss.” There was no way in hell I was letting this chance slide. And it was that—a chance. It could go one of two ways, but since Sterling was the one to complete the kiss, my hopes were high that he felt the same way I did.

My fingers were crossed that I wasn’t let down.

Sterling took a seat in the booth across from me, setting his plate on the table. I’d driven us to a small, buffet-style restaurant. I was hungry enough to put away an entire cow after the grueling practice I’d just suffered, and buffets were more Sterling’s style when he was getting back into eating again. It gave him more options of what he could put together that wouldn’t leave him feeling nauseous later.

He’d put rice with gravy, a small baked chicken leg, and green beans on his plate, which was practically nothing compared to the pile of food I had on mine. But hell, at least he was eating. That was all I could ask for when he was having rough days. It was better than not eating at all. I’d just have to make sure he snacked throughout the day tomorrow.

“So, the kiss?” he muttered, forking a green bean into his mouth right after. As if he thought if he kept his mouth occupied, he might not say anything else. It was kind of amusing actually, though I’d never tell him that.

“You know I’m bi,” I reminded him.

He grunted. “Pretty sure the entire campus knows you’re bi,” he told me, amusement glimmering in his eyes. That was true. I’d dated other people and fucked around a good bit. Sterling had dated too, so I hadn’t felt so bad about it. I never thought I would have this opportunity with Sterling.

I snickered. “I started crushing on you the moment you walked into our dorm room and said you were my roommate and told me you don’t like being touched,” I told him honestly. His eyes widened, and he choked on his green bean for a moment before grabbing his water and chugging some down. I waited until he set his glass down before I started speaking again. “I thought it would fade with time like my crushes normally do, but every moment I spent with you just made me like you more.” I swallowed thickly. “I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone, Sterling. And I know that may be a lot to swallow and digest. If you don’t feel the same way, I’m okay with that. I never want to destroy our friendship.”

“You like me?” he asked in astonishment. Like that was the wildest idea he’d ever heard of. As if me liking him was something impossible.

I shrugged a little. “Like might be too light of a term, but yeah. We’ll go with that for now.”

He set his fork down and rubbed his hands together. That nervous tic of his was so cute. “I, um, I like you, too, Graham.” My heart was going to burst right out of my chest and fly up to the sky. “You’re the only person outside of my parents and my therapist that can touch me, and that… that’s pretty fucking incredible. I feelsafewith you.”

I held my hand out to him. His emotions were heightened, which meant any touching needed to be on his terms. He placed his hand in mine. Curling my fingers around his hand, I gave it a gentle squeeze. “One thing I can promise you—swear on my life, in fact—is that I willnevermake you feel unsafe with me, Sterling. I willalwaysbe a safe haven for you.”

Sterling smiled at me. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “I needed to hear that more than you think.”

I know, baby, I said silently. I knew Sterling better than he thought I did, but that was okay. I’d spend the rest of my life being his safe haven and taking care of him every way I could so long as he let me.

3

Sterling

“Are we watching a movie tonight?” Graham asked as he maneuvered his car into a parking spot in front of our dorm building. He’d apparently worked the entire summer before freshman year of college to save up enough money to buy a cheap car outright. And when my parents found out around Christmas of our freshman year that his insurance was about to lapse because he couldn’t afford to pay it for another six months, they took over, adding him as a driver to their insurance policy, as well as his car.

Graham was still extremely grateful for their help to this day. He just asked that word never got to his parents because he didn’t want them to feel bad about not being able to provide something for him. My parents and I readily agreed.

I wanted to do anything I could to help make Graham’s life a little easier. He was working so hard to achieve his dreams. He’d already had a couple of offers from some NHL teams. His parents wanted him to take one of the offers, but my parents urged him to finish his college degree first, warning him an injury could take him out and that he needed something to fall back on. They’d assured him that if he kept at it, kept getting better, and kept improving, he would get offers from better teams with a higher dollar amount on his contract.

“A movie sounds good, but we both need showers first. Especially you.”

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