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Men often mistake fucking for love.
I push my hand through my hair. “Let’s go,” I say to my brother, turning away from him and heading down the path back to the house.
Emmanuel stops me. “Azrael.” He waits until I’m facing him to continue. “Bec…” he trails off.
“Bec isn’t sick because of this curse. Because of Shemhazai. We both know that. Mom and Dad, freak accident. Abacus, well, she fucking drove him mad. What she believes is madness. I can’t do it, Emmanuel. I won’t. And if you have a problem with that, then you have a problem with me.”
Men often mistake fucking for love.
Salomé is wrong. Maybe it was love from day one, from the instant I saw the mark upon Willow’s breast and knew she was to be mine. Maybe it had already begun that night, my stumbling down this unfamiliar path. My trying to do what I have always been told I would have to do to ensure my family remains safe, healthy and prosperous.
Hell, I don’t know when it began. I don’t care. The truth is that I’ve fallen in love with a Wildblood witch. My Wildblood witch. The one chosen by fate to be sacrificed to Shemhazai at my hands is the very one I am in love with, a woman I can no more hurt than I could my sister, my brother. Even my grandmother.
He smiles a sad smile, nods. “I have no problem with you, brother.”
I nod, too, unable to speak given the weight of our words.
“It has to end somewhere,” he adds.
We walk the rest of the way in heavy silence. When we near the house, I look up to see the light on in my bedroom. I search for Willow but don’t see her. Just before I turn away, something moves in the corner of the window, coming out from the shadows of the drapes. Familiar green eyes meet mine. Fiona.
“She’s got a crush on you, I think,” Emmanuel says with a chuckle.
“Nah. She hates me,” I say, knowing she’s probably been watching us from her hiding place and wanted me to know it. “I have a suspicion she scares Benedict.”
“Hell, I know she does. Wasn’t he supposed to be this ferocious breed of guard dog?” Emmanuel asks. “He’ll tear a human being limb from limb but Fiona? She just has to give him side eye and he’ll tuck tail.”
Just before we enter the house from the doors leading to the living room, movement from the pool house catches my eye. We both stop to watch our sister swim a lap all the way across, take a momentary breath, then swim the lap back. Willow is sitting along the edge dangling her feet in, a T-shirt on over her bathing suit. She’s cheering Bec on but from the look on her face, I see it’s forced.
She’s been despondent since we’ve been home and although she’ll let me hold her after the nightmares that don’t seem to give her a fucking break, she’s keeping me at arm’s length. I get it. I know what she saw in that book: what she knows my ancestors have done to hers, what she believes I will do to her. A few words aren’t going to reassure her of my intentions where they concern her. She needs to learn to trust me again.
“Bec’s looking so much better,” Emmanuel says. “Maybe that night, maybe it was the last of it.”
“I hope so,” I say, although Willow’s words haunt me. I haven’t told Emmanuel that she wanted to have Bec’s shakes tested. Does Willow truly believe Salomé is harming her? My grandmother may be many things, but she wouldn’t poison her own granddaughter.
Since we’ve gotten home, doctors have wanted to step back and start Bec with a clean slate. They’re testing one thing at a time, monitoring, and so far, she’s doing better and better.
Bec climbs out of the pool, a wide smile on her face, and Willow hands her a towel so she can tie an oversized robe around herself.
“You know it’s a matter of time before Gran learns about the pregnancy, right? She’s neither stupid nor blind.”
Although Willow isn’t showing yet, she will be soon. He’s right.
“One thing at a time, brother.” I’m meeting with Ezra Moore, an investigator Judge Montgomery, one of the Sovereign Sons of the Society, recommended when I reached out for help to find Caleb Church. As much as the Wildbloods have shared, I need someone unafraid to break a few rules to get me what I need. I’ll use my connections within IVI to get it.
“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” he asks, knowing where I’m going. I shake my head as I watch Bec and Willow walk out of the pool house, Bec chattering as Willow smiles. She looks exhausted, but I’m not surprised. I don’t know the last time she slept through the night.
