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Watching my sisters get hauled away in tears, I hate my father in that moment, more than I ever have, even more than when he was hurting me. What makes me feel even more crappy is I should’ve seen this coming. Maybe I did. Maybe I was just living in denial.
“I swear to the moon and back I’ll fix this!” I shout to my sisters as the car they were put in starts to drive away. I stand up from the back of the ambulance, letting the blanket wrapped around my shoulders fall to the ground. “I swear to the moon and back I will.”
Londyn watches me through the back window until she can no longer see me, until I can no longer see her.
Another officer approaches me then and asks even more questions, most of which are about what happened and my dad, like if I know where he went—stuff like that. By the time everyone clears out, my dad is now a wanted man, my sisters are gone, and the blood on my face has dried. My heart, though, still feels like it’s bleeding.
“So.” Blaise steps up beside me as the last officer pulls away.
He’s been hanging around the entire time, answering questions. It’s late. The sun set behind the shallow hills hours ago, and the air has a slight nip to it, yet I don’t feel cold. Numbness. That’s all I feel.
“So,” I mimic as I stand near the side door, staring down the empty driveway.
I should go inside, take a shower, and wash the blood off my face, but I’m not that eager to greet the darkness and stillness awaiting me inside.
“Hadley.” He gently places a hand on my shoulder.
I tense—I don’t even know why—and he quickly removes his hand.
“I should go inside.” I start to turn, but he steps in front of me.
“The paramedics said you might have a concussion.” He levels his gaze with mine. “I think you should sleep over at my house for the night so you’re not alone. I can sleep on the couch, and you can take my bed.”
“I’m fine.” Lie. I’m not even close to being fine.
I’m broken.
He eyes me over with doubt. “Even if you are, it’s still a good idea for you not to be alone. The paramedics even said so; said someone should keep an eye on you.”
“And you want to be that person?” I question in disbelief.
He shrugs, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “I don’t mind doing it.”
“You should. You barely know me. And I’m the one who owes you favors, not the other way around.”
He chews on his bottom lip as he stares at me strangely. “Yeah, I know, but I still want you to stay over at my house for the night, just until we know for sure if you’re concussed. Then tomorrow, we’ll make a plan on how we’re going to get your sisters back.”
He keeps throwing around the word we, and my initial instinct is to correct him, but I feel too disheartened to start bantering with him, so I simply nod and say, “All right, let me just grab some clothes first.” I head into the house, but when he trails after me, I pause. “Can I just have a few minutes? I promise I’ll come over as soon as I get my stuff.”
He dithers then nods. “Sure.”
I offer him what is probably the most miserable yet grateful smile then dash into the house.
The moment the door shuts, I collapse to the floor and cry for five minutes straight. That’s all the time I give myself—five minutes to break the fuck down. Then I dry my eyes and pull myself together, vowing to never break down again. To be strong. Because, if I’m ever going to have a chance to get guardianship of my sisters, that’s who I need to be.
Strong.
Chapter 21
After I grab my pajamas, I go over to the Portersons’ house like I said I would, where Blaise is waiting for me. Their house is surprisingly quiet.
“Alex is still sleeping it off,” Blaise explains as he leads me up a stairway to his room. “And Jaxon and Rhyland are in their rooms, playing video games. No one will bother you, I promise.” He points to a cracked open door as we pass it. “That’s the bathroom, if you need to use it.” He stops in front of a shut door and opens it. “And here’s my room.” He motions me inside.
I step in, noting the space is shockingly clean. The bed is made, there are no clothes on the floor, and there’s minimal clutter.
“Are you a neat freak?” I ask.
He slants against the doorframe with his hands in his pockets. “No, not really. I actually hurried up and cleaned it before you came over here. Kicked a lot of stuff under the bed and tossed the rest in the closet.”
I laugh softly, and a small smile touches his lips. “That sounds like something Payton would do.”
“What about you?” he asks. “Are you a neat freak?”
I shake my head, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “But I clean a lot. Not because I want to, but because, if I don’t, no one else will.”
“Me, too. That’s probably why my room’s so messy—I never have time to clean it. My brothers are slobs. I swear they think the floor is a trash can or something.”
I smile, but this time the move is more forced. Talking about cleaning and his brothers is reminding me too much of my sisters.
“I should probably get to bed,” I say. “It’s been a … well, I’m not really sure what to call today.”
He nods, understanding, and starts to back out. “Of course.”
Something dawns on me. Or, well, I realize I need to say something.
“Blaise,” I say quietly.
He pauses. “Yeah?”
“Thank you for what you did tonight.”
His lips tilt into a small smile. “You’re welcome. And if you need anything else at all, I’ll be downstairs on the sofa, okay?” He waits for me to nod then closes the door, whispering, “Goodnight, stubborn girl.”
And the nicknames are back. But I’m not as annoyed as I usually am.
As silence surrounds me, tears threaten to pour out, but I blink until they vanish. Then I put on my pajamas and climb into bed.
The blanket I pull over me smells like Blaise’s cologne. I didn’t even realize I knew what his cologne smelled like until now. It’s a nice smell. I breathe it in as I roll over and try to get comfortable in Blaise’s bed, something I never thought I’d be doing.
He surprised me today, and not just tonight when he stopped my dad from hurting me, but earlier today. I don’t know what to make of that—make of him—but I’m fairly convinced that the cocky guy I first met by the fence isn’t who Blaise really is.
I’m glad he’s helping me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to allow myself to rely on him. No, I’ll never be that girl. And not just because of my rules.
Fuck, my rules. They probably can’t even exist anymore, can they? Not with me deciding to pursue guardianship of my sisters.
Reality crashes down on me, heavy and throbbing, just like my injured face. My rules don’t—can’t exist anymore. My future plans are gone. Nothing will ever be the same for me. But that doesn’t mean I’m just going to walk away from this. I knew the moment Social Services drove away with my sisters that I need them in my life. That I can’t let us be separated. That I’m going to have to step up. That that’s what our mom would’ve wanted me to do.
“You’re the bravest of my daughters,” she used to say to me. “Fearless. It’s why I know you’ll make a great racer someday. You’re going to make me proud; I just know it.”
She was right. I am fearless and brave and a damn good racer. I just hope I can make her proud.
As I lie in bed, my eyelids growing heavy, that’s what I think about—making my mom proud. And thinking of her relaxes me. If only the feeling could’ve carried into my dreams …
I’m standing near the street with a river flowing on one side, the sound of car engines filling the air. Then I hear tires skidding, followed by a loud splash.
“No!” my dad shouts from beside me. Then he rushes toward the river, leaving me behind with a mob of bystanders.
I start to run after him, but then my stomach clenches as someone scream
s.
No, not someone. I’m screaming, because someone is gripping my arms and dragging me back, away from my dad, away from the accident, away from my mom.
I scream again when a hand clamps down over my mouth. “Quiet,” the person warns. “Everything will be fine as long as your dad pays his debt.”
Then I’m picked up and hauled away into the dark—
My eyes pop open, and I bolt upright, gasping for air.
“Holy shit,” I breathe out, my heart a racing mess. “Where the hell did that dream come from?”
Or was it a dream? Because the images … they felt so real. But, wouldn’t I remember if I was taken? That’s something you don’t just forget. Then again, it was eight years ago, and I have those blank memories where the days between my mom’s death and her funeral should be.
I cup the side of my face where my cheek throbs with the reminder of what my dad did to me only hours ago. I had thought he was just starting to turn into a monster, but what if it’s been building over time?
“What did you do, Dad?” I whisper. “What did you do?”
My only answer is silence. That doesn’t mean I’m going to let it stay that way. I will find out the truth, no matter what.
Chapter 22
Blaise
Instead of going downstairs right away, I linger. It makes me nervous that she has a concussion. Plus, her dad is out wandering around, and who knows if he’ll return? It’s not just that that has me worried, though. No, it’s the people her dad’s gotten mixed up with. Like my dad, for starters.
Yes, he’s my father, but that man is corrupt, and so is anyone who works for him. Hadley’s dad isn’t technically working for him, though. He’s just working off a gambling debt that he’s owed for over a decade now. He’s lucky my dad let him off that easy and gets to work as his little bitch. Normally, when someone owes my dad money, especially for that amount of time, things don’t end well for the debtor.
I’m not sure why he let Hadley’s dad off so easily. I could ask, but my dad and I rarely talk, and when we do, he usually tells me nothing but bullshit lies. The best day of my life was when I got guardianship of my brothers and we were no longer obligated to talk to him. Well, not as much anyway. A monthly visit was his stipulation before he signed over guardianship to me.
When I’m almost certain Hadley is asleep, I do a quick sweep through of the house, making sure all the doors are locked. Next, I peer out the window, looking out at the street, frowning at the car parked near the corner.
The tinted windows and luxury are a giveaway that the owner more than likely doesn’t live around here. My bet is it’s the other people Hadley’s dad has gotten mixed up with, something I discovered today while we were at the gas station and I saw Mel in one of Axel’s men’s truck.
