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He didn’t look at me as I entered, but then again I hadn’t assumed he would. I’d only been in his presence such a short time, but he was the type of man that moved at his own pace. He didn’t stop what he was doing for anyone.
A side door opened, and I got a glimpse of the kitchen. Several servants came in, silver platters in their hands, their focus trained on anything but the man at the head of the table. I took a second to look around, looking at the floor-to-ceiling windows that lined one whole wall, the dark accented decor, and the frigidness I felt surrounding me. I was still standing there when the servants left.
“Sit, Sofia,” Cameron said, still looking down at the paper in front of him.
I made my way toward the seat across from him. The table was long, easily seating sixteen. Yet I still felt as though we were seated intimately, like he was right beside me. The plate in front of me was white and empty. I reached out, seeing my hand shaking, feeling the nerves in me rise. I had my fingers wrapped around the crystal, the orange juice in it almost trembling from my shaking hand.
“There’s nothing to be nervous about.”
I glanced up, startled, surprised to find that Cameron was staring right at me. He grabbed his cup and took a long drink, watching me over the rim. When he set the cup down and leaned back, I felt on display despite my body being covered.
“You slept well?”
I nodded. “You didn’t sleep with me.” I meant it in the most basic of senses, him beside me, the mattress dipping from his powerful weight. But I suppose it could be taken literally and figuratively.
“That was the only night I won’t be in bed with you.”
I had no doubt about that.
“Eat up, because you’ll need your energy.”
It was hard to be hungry, to have any kind of appetite when my stomach was in knots. The question I wanted to ask him was on the tip of my tongue, yet I didn’t know what the ground rules were, didn’t know what he did or didn’t want me to know.
And I won’t know until I ask him.
But I kept my mouth shut. I grabbed some fruit and a piece of buttered toast and started eating, keeping my mind and mouth occupied so I didn’t cross that line. Silence stretched between us, but I embraced it.
“If you have things on your mind, it’s best we get that done now.”
The bread was dry in my mouth, and when I went to swallow, it lodged in my throat. I coughed, grabbed my water, and took a long drink. Cameron was staring at me, watching me the same way a hawk probably did the mouse before it snatched it up and devoured it.
“What exactly do you plan on doing with me?” Sex was the obvious, but what I meant, what was on my mind, twisting me up, was how far Cameron wanted to go, how far he’d push me. Would he break me? Did he want to ruin me?
“You’re worried I’ll hurt you.” Cameron didn’t state it like a question. “You’re worried what you’ve agreed to is a fate far worse than what you were in.” Again it wasn’t a question.
I looked down, not responding, because he already knew that was what I wondered, what I feared. I couldn’t deny my attraction to him, couldn’t lie to myself and say he didn’t make me feel this rush of awareness.
He was a dangerous man who’d killed someone for me, because I’d asked. He could do whatever he wanted to me and I’d have no choice but to accept it, not just because I’d agreed, but also because a small part of me craved it. This twisted part of me wanted whatever he had to offer.
The pain and pleasure, the coldness yet warmth he gave me with just a look. This man was a monster, and I was more than willing to let him destroy me.
What was wrong with me? What kind of person did that make me?
When I heard his chair scraping, I glanced up. Cameron stood, set his napkin down on the table, and came closer. I was frozen in place, unable to breathe, to even think. On instinct I rose, maybe to appear bigger, stronger. It didn’t help, though, not when the only thing I could hear was the thundering of my heart in my ears and the feeling of my belly doing flips.
And then he was right in front of me.
He was so close, his body, his presence so consuming. For long seconds he didn’t speak, didn’t even move. He reached out and touched a lock of my hair, toying with the strands between his fingers, focused solely on it.
“All I want, what I desire, is your surrender.” His voice was pitched low I knew if anyone else had been in the room they wouldn’t have heard him. “I’m not a good man.” He said it so matter-of-factly that I had no doubts whatsoever that this man knew who and what he was. “I’m a killer, a drug lord.” He took another step closer. “I rule the underground with apathy and violence.” His chest was so wide, so powerful that it took up my entire view.
“I know who and what you are.” But did I really?
He shook his head slowly. “No, I don’t think you do, Sofia. I don’t think you do at all.”
I was sucking air into my lungs, hard, fast, yet I couldn’t breathe.
“I feel you’re my weakness,” he said softly, his voice deep, like a knife skating along my body, barely touching me, but the threat of getting cut was right there at the surface. He lifted his head then, staring me in the eyes, his gaze so cold, so hard. I was small, miniature compared to him. “And having a weakness isn’t something I’m comfortable with.”
