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But I’d have to be honest, tell them there was no “problem,” not in the sense they were probably thinking.
I had to see Cameron again, even if this was the last, the only time. I had to admit my feelings, that I felt lost without him, that being his, letting him consume me in the way he had, was what I needed in my life. I wanted to think that I was prepared if he pushed me aside, that he might cut me deep with his words, but truth was I probably wasn’t.
It had been ten minutes since I’d made the call, and I saw a dark SUV turn the corner and come my way. My heart raced at the sight of it, and I knew my anticipation and nervousness might have been considered fear by looking at me.
The vehicle came to a stop beside the curb in front of me, and the driver’s side door opened. I watched Damien come around, his focus intense on me. I also noticed he kept scanning the area. He opened the back door for me, and I saw long, muscular legs covered in expensive material come into view.
Cameron.
I climbed into the back of the SUV, the door shutting behind me, my eyes needing to adjust to the change in light. And when they did I stared at Cameron, who sat beside me. He stared at me, his dark gaze locked on me, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.
“Take us to the property, Damien,” Cameron said without breaking his focus on me. The car started moving, and I settled back. I didn’t know what property he was referring to, but I didn’t really want to do this with an audience.
It was me who ended up breaking the eye contact and looking out the window. I don’t know how long we drove for, but it was done in silence, the air thick, the temperature hot.
Maybe twenty minutes or so later we finally pulled onto a dirt road, staying on that for another ten minutes, and then stopping. The headlights illuminated the dilapidated house that stood in the distance, trees sporadically around the open property.
“Where are we?” When he didn’t respond, I glanced at him.
“A piece of property I own. I come out here to meet with less than superior clients at times. I need this for privacy.”
Yeah, I could see that. It was deserted, out in the middle of nowhere, and I had to assume if someone needed to use a gun, there would be no one around to hear it.
“You said you’re in trouble.” He didn’t phrase it like a question. I glanced at Damien on instinct, because truthfully I wanted this to be a private conversation between Cameron and me.
“Give us a moment alone, Damien,” Cameron finally said, but he was looking at me again. A second later Damien was out of the car. Cameron lifted an eyebrow, clearly waiting for me to speak.
“I’m not in trouble.” I looked down at my hands. They were in my lap, and I realized I was nervously picking at my shirt. I looked back at him again. “At least not in the way you are probably assuming.”
“I know,” he said, and a part of me wasn’t really shocked he knew that. Cameron pretty much knew everything.
“You knew?” I found myself asking.
The look he gave me was indifferent. “You think I didn’t know what you were doing, where you were, or if you were safe?”
I shifted, feeling the weight of his gaze on me, knowing he could read me with just a look.
“I knew, Sofia.”
I twisted my hands together, swallowing roughly. “I assumed you didn’t care.” This was really not how I’d seen this conversation going. For a second we didn’t speak, but everything seemed so loud, so intense.
“Why didn’t you say good-bye? Why didn’t you see me before I left?” I might as well lay it all out, because that was the whole reason I’d called him. “Did I mean nothing to you?” My voice was whisper soft, my emotions threatening to come forth. I wouldn’t let them though. I wouldn’t let them control me, wouldn’t let Cameron see them.
He looked away from me, out the window, and for long seconds stayed like that. I wanted to say something, anything, but my mouth was suddenly dry, and the words didn’t want to form.
“I wanted to see you,” he finally said, breaking that thick silence and making my ears ring with awareness. “But watching you leave was too hard. If I’d been there, seeing you get into that car, I’d have pulled you away and demanded you stay.” He looked at me then. My heart was beating so hard it hurt. “I wanted to keep you as mine, to have you close, care for you. But even a bastard like me knows my world is too toxic for you, Sofia.”
Even though his words held so much meaning, he kept his cool composure.
“You saw where I came from, where my life was,” I whispered.
He reached out, and for a second I thought he’d pull me close, say fuck it all, and tell me I was his. Instead he pushed a strand of my hair away, his finger brushing along my cheek, a shiver working its way through my body.
“All the materialistic things are easy to give you, Sofia. It’s the happily ever after I can’t offer.”
I shifted to face him fully. “I don’t want a happily ever after.” I shook my head. “I don’t want the fairy tale.”
“Tell me what it is you want, what I can give you.” He shifted slightly too, his big body facing me now. “Because mayhem and bloodshed rule my world.” He was the one to slowly shake his head now. “As much as I want you chained to my side, only mine, I can’t be a motherfucker and say that’s what’s right for you, safe for you.”
