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He looked at me like I had completely lost it, and maybe I had. But he was breaking my heart right now, and I didn’t care how I looked. I just wanted to know. I needed to know.
What the hell had I done wrong?
“Tell me!”
“Six months ago,” he seethed. “Is that what you want to hear? Me telling you any of this will do you no good, Amelia. I’m trying to spare you.”
“Spare me?” Was he joking right now? “How is any of this sparing me? You are breaking up with me and telling me you wanted to break up with me six months ago. So, all this time, you led me on for what? Why not just spare me, then? Why now when we were picking out houses together two weeks ago?”
I stepped toward him and pushed his chest hard. All this time I had wasted. All these memories and moments we had shared.
“Why not spare me back then?” I pushed him hard. “Why?”
“Amelia, please.” He wanted me to stop, but I was not backing down.
“Why?”
“I wanted to see if I could fall in love with you again.” He blurted out in haste.
I stilled. “What?”
“Damn,” he cursed under his breath. “I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have, Lia. You are one of my best friends, and I care so much about you. But I just…I don’t….”
He didn’t love me.
All those years together. All those hopes and dreams we had. What had they all been for?
“You…” my voice trailed off. “You don’t love me anymore. That’s what you were going to say, right? You would tell me that you don’t love me anymore.”
“It’s not that I don’t love you, Lia. It just—”
“Don’t call me that,” I spat, “you don’t get to call me Lia anymore. Only my close people call me that, and you are not one of them.”
He looked hurt at my words, but I didn’t give a damn. He was breaking my heart with his words. Why would he do this to me? To us.
“Six years,” I choked out. The tears pooled in my eyes, squeezing with every beat I took. “Six years of my life I spent with you. You were the first boy I kissed. The only man who has touched my body. The only man who ever owned my heart.”
He looked away.
“You were meant to be my everything, Jacob. You called me your…your….” I couldn’t even get the word out.
I tried to blink away the tears, but more would come in their stead each time I tried.
“You were—I mean, you are my ocean, Amelia. But I can’t be with you like we are right now. I don’t know what I want out of life anymore. I thought being here in Braven Bay and loving you would be enough, but it’s just not. My heart needs more. We aren’t enough.”
Translation, I wasn’t enough to make him happy.
“You are still my—”
“Don’t you dare.” I held my hand up, taking a tentative step back. “Don’t you dare be that cruel to me.”
If he called me his best friend, it would be like a slap to the face. Best friends were meant to protect each other. They were meant to love each other through all the bad and the good. They were not meant to cause each other harm intentionally; that was what he was doing to me.
He was taking a dagger and lodging it right in my chest. But he wasn’t just stopping there. He was twisting it with every reason he gave why he could not be with me.
I shook my head in pure disbelief. “I…I need to go.”
I grabbed my overnight bag from his coffee table and left his house, forgetting my shoes. But I didn’t dare to turn back. I was never going to turn back.
