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“Yeah…no.” I decide to speak the truth. “Are you okay?” I need to know. I don’t want to break him. Ruin him in any way. His confidence is something I admire. I don’t want to make him unsure.
He smiles sweetly at me, his eyes bright, and I see no worry there which makes me feel so much better. “I’m fine, just not tired, so I came out here to crochet.” He holds up a small bit of yarn and then adds, “A penis pouch. It’s a nicely knitted sock for your cock. I’m making it for you.”
I have no idea what to say about that, all I know is that now that I’m with him, I feel immensely better. I mean, I’m not a hundred percent better, but I’m feeling calmer. My dick, however, is not calm. It seems to sense Damon’s presence and is twitching in my pants. And knowing that he’s just out here being uniquely Damon, knowing exactly who he is and just going with the flow…it makes me relax.
“You want to sit outside with me? Or go inside? Everyone’s asleep though….”
I shrug and then stare at him a little more. His eyes have drifted from my eyes to my bare chest. It’s only now that I realize I’m wearing nothing but my boxers and shoes.
“Actually, maybe we should go inside. Don’t want you getting bit by bugs with all that naked skin.”
I feel my cheeks heat as I follow him inside, both of our steps as quiet as can be. And when we are tucked inside his room, the door locked, Damon flicks on a lamp on his end table and flops down on the bed.
“So, what’s up. Why did you traverse all the way over here half naked. Something on your mind?”
I love how bold he is. How he doesn’t hold back. I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to take anything back, but I also need to process it.
“You having regrets?” Damon asks, looking suddenly sad, his lips tilted up in a wobbly smile. “I know it’s a lot. It’s not easy….”
It kind of is though. It’s been easier than I ever thought it could be. He makes it so fucking simple. I need to be honest with him, to talk it out. Not much freaks Damon out. This will be okay. “I’m just…I just wanted to see you and talk to you about it.”
“Of course,” he says and then pats the spot next to him on the bed. “And don’t worry, I won’t kiss you or touch you, no matter how badly I want to.”
“I’m not worried about that.” I say it loudly because I need him to hear it. Part of me is worried he won’t kiss me or touch me. Part of me thinks that we should just skip the talk and do all the things so I can forget about my fears and reservations.
He smirks proudly at me and then nods his head, gesturing with his hands for me to continue. “Go on. Take your time. You can just tell me what you’re thinking and we can work through it together.”
“I’ve never been with a man,” I say, and Damon nods.
“Yes, I know.” He’s taking it easy on me, smiling at me sweetly. Fuck, he’s so damn cute.
“Does it bother you?” My voice shakes when I ask him. He’s been with a lot of men. A lot of men that know exactly what they’re doing and how to drive him over the edge.
“No. I mean, to be honest, Tomas, I’m wary of being with a questioning man. It usually only leads to heartbreak.”
I nod my head dumbly. Because of course it does, and of course he has every right to be wary. I’m here just proving his point. I don’t know what to say to that. I won’t hurt him. At least, I don’t want to. But can I promise that I won’t?
I just don’t know.
“But I really like you.” He says it quietly, his big eyes penetrating my soul. “If you want to keep exploring, I’m willing to give it a shot.”
I nod my head stupidly.
“And if you want to not go out on a date, that’s fine. We can totally not do that. I know you unexpectedly came out to the moms, but they’re safe. And to be honest, you handled that far too normally. I kind of expected the freak out.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, I did.” He smiles at me and then his eyes soften as he reaches out and tucks his hand into mine. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’m here for whatever, for however long. And if you tell me next week that I’m not your thing, it will hurt, but I at least have the expectation.”
I hate it. Hate that he does. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know. Which is why I’m taking this chance on you.” Again with the sweet, strong smile.
He reaches up and gently brushes his hand against my cheek, and I lean into it. He smells so damn good and his hands are so fucking soft.
“I don’t think you will though. I don’t think you’ll hurt me.”
It gives me hope when I see the honesty in his gaze. He trusts me. God, I hope I live up to his wild expectations. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m so fucking confused. Although, the more he touches me the more clear my mind becomes. It’s like the clouds slowly being dissipated by the sun.
