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But as happy as I am, my face must be giving something away too.
Xander’s mention of the stuffie only really served to remind me that I don’t have one. I know he wasn’t trying to make me feel sad, and he probably assumed that I would already have found my Forever Stuffie, but…
‘Hey, is everything okay?’ Xander says, a note of concern in his voice. ‘I thought you’d love the chance to be in charge of Big Red?’
‘Oh, yeah, I totally am,’ I say. ‘It’s just…’
‘Yeah?’ Xander says, a friendly look in his eyes that makes me want to open up to him, despite the fact that we’ve just met.
‘I don’t… have a stuffie,’ I reply, my voice wobbling a little.
‘Notyet,’ Xander replies. ‘You don’t have a stuffie yet. But… you will. Everyone is different. Each situation in life is unique. One day you’ll find your perfect stuffie and you won’t look back!’
‘Was it like that with you?’ I reply, feeling a ton more optimistic all of a sudden.
‘Yeah!’ Xander says. ‘Here, look.’
With that, Xander takes his shoulder bag off and opens it up to show me the most perfect little otter stuffie I’ve ever seen.
‘This is Shine,’ Xander says. ‘And he says that you’re definitely going to meet your perfect, most cuddly little friend sooner rather than later. And Shine’s rarely wrong either!’
The pair of us giggle and I feel a hundred times better.
As understanding as my old workmates were to me being a Little when I did eventually work it out and tell them, I’ve never experienced anything like this.
This might be my first day as a Blue Collar Boy, but something tells me that I’m going to be sticking around for a long, long time.
‘Okay, I’ll go and get my prep done for a meeting I’m having with Harrison Harlow,’ Xander says. ‘Trust me, this is one dude you donotwant to get on the wrong side of. You stay down here and get to grips with this big beast until you’re comfortable. Okay?’
‘You got it,’ I say, my eyes widening at the thought of turning the forklift on and putting her through her paces.
This is turning out to be a wonderful morning.
Forklift fun for now, and who knows… I might even go looking for a stuffie after lunch!
* * *
‘Whoosh!’ I cry out, becoming more and more comfortable with the forklift as I get to grips with the unfamiliar control setup in the cabin. ‘This is fun!’
I’ve got a big smile on my face as I turn the truck around and bring up the forks at pace. Despite this being a new model to me, I think I’ve pretty much got a handle on how it moves and the kind of weight and operating style it will need when the real work starts.
I’ve always been fascinated by trucks, forklifts, diggers, and pretty much any machinery that involves moving heavy weight from one place to the other.
Growing up, my parents bought me all the toy trucks and equipment that I wanted. And I loved playing with them too. But in some ways, I think this is what made me struggle to fully accept my Little side.
I guess part of me thought that if I was so into all the typically macho and stereotypically boy’s toys, then I couldn’t be a real Little – even if I did have a strong desire to color, paint, and dream of a fantasy world of infinite stuffies too.
Well, that’s in the past now.
Whatever my childhood and early adulthood was like, I’ve got a chance to make a life for myself now that is a full reflection of who I am and what I’m all about.
I’m new in Los Torros, and it might be the one chance I get to start totally fresh and put the real me out there.
‘Phew, I think that’s me all done,’ I say, making one final maneuver on the forklift truck and turning the engine off.
I decide to walk up to see Xander and ask if there’s anything else I need to know before I start work properly tomorrow.
With the sun beating down on me and my body very much in need of some refreshment, I walk up the gravel track with a big part of me hoping that Xander will offer another one of his delicious an XXL-sized juice boxes!
