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Mattie sips her tea. “What job would you have chosen?”
Mom sighs and turns a wistful gaze to the window. “I always wanted to be a pediatrician, but it’s too late for that.”
“How about taking up natural medicine?” I ask. “You can get a diploma in four years. One of Colin’s friends is doing a correspondence course, and he’s loving it.”
“I’m fifty years old.” Mom picks up her cup, lifting a pinky in the air. “That ship, I’m afraid, has sailed.”
“There’s always voluntary work in the medical field,” Mattie says. “There’s no shortage of possibilities in the area.”
Mom shakes her head. “It’s not the same.”
“What about you, Mattie?” I ask to change the subject. Continuing with the discussion will only end up with Mom becoming depressed. She’ll make a decision that works for her when the time is right. She always does. Regurgitating things she can’t change doesn’t help.
“What about me?” Mattie asks.
“You’re so young. Doesn’t a baby at twenty scare you?”
Her smile is serene. “Jared and I want to be young with our children. I’m happy being a housewife, and I’ll be ecstatic being a mommy.”
“I didn’t mean it in a negative way.” My mind jumps to that night with Angelo and the wrongness of what we shared. “I just can’t imagine being tied down when there’s a whole world to explore.”
“Everyone’s ambition is different.” My sister shrugs. “It doesn’t mean one is better than the other.”
“Of course not,” I say quickly.
Mattie and my mom launch into a discussion about the baby shower arrangements. I should be more interested, but I can’t help how my mind wanders. I worry about my dad. He’s been so closed-off and distant after Ryan’s birthday. Like Mom, he’s more absent from home. I imagine him sitting alone in his study, going over his accounts or balancing his checkbook. Will he eat a proper lunch if Doris or my mom isn’t there to cook? He’ll probably just munch on a few pretzels.
A wave of tenderness washes over me. I have a sudden desire to be with him, to sit on the sofa with a blanket over my knees and a book on my lap while a fire crackles in the fireplace and his presence warms the room.
Mattie and my mom don’t seem to notice when I stand and take my phone from my bag. I walk onto the terrace, soaking up the welcome winter sun as I dial my dad.
“Hey,” he says. “Is everything all right?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I thought you’re spending time with Mattie and your mother.”
“I am.” I lean against a pillar. “They’re discussing baby shower stuff.”
“Ah. Try to give some input. It’s important to your sister.”
“Sure,” I say half-heartedly.
“Is there something you wanted to talk about?”
“I just wanted to check up on you.”
He chuckles. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m old enough to take care of myself.”
“I know you don’t eat when you’re alone.”
“I’m at the office. I’ll pick up a frozen meal on my way home. Happy?”
I laugh. “You’re working too hard.”
“It comes with the territory.”
“Are you there by yourself?”
