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“You should have done it then,” I mutter under my breath and I look away from him.
He wasn’t meant to hear it, but, of course, he did. Suddenly, his hands are on my face and he’s pulling me forward. His lips meld with mine, moving against them roughly. His stubble scratches my face and I love it. He feels like a grown man now, not the fumbling boy I remember.
Losing myself, I kiss him back greedily, tasting smoke on his breath but loving it. Lifting my body, Luca hauls me onto his lap where my legs fall on either side of his hips. My core grinds against the bulge in his shorts and zings of pleasure shoot through me.
Luca groans deep in his chest. It rumbles over me and I moan through our kiss. His tongue fumbles with mine and he bites my bottom lip in intervals. Meanwhile, his thick fingers glide up and under my sweater and shirt, pinching my nipples and kneading the soft flesh. I kiss him harder and grind faster. His cock is hard as a rock when he pushes upward, needing me just as desperately. I want nothing more than to fuck the shit out of him right here on this rooftop. My whole body aches for it. My arms trace the dark lines of his scrawling ink tattoos, clawing at his muscles and wishing his shirt was gone.
Luca kisses a path down my neck almost frantically and I raise my face up until I’m staring at the moon. It feels so good to have him touch me this way. His hands on my skin burn, but I want more. I want all of him and I never want to let go. His fingers hook in the top of my joggers and start to pull down. Despite the anticipation, my head has a moment to clear…
What the fuck am I doing?
Pulling away suddenly, Luca makes a low sound of protest and goes to kiss me again, but I leap up from the chair and stagger back until I’m knocking into the railing. “I-I can’t do this...not tonight,” I stammer. Luca stares at me in shock, still breathing heavily. Looking down, I can see how hard he is. His shorts are tented and my body wants nothing more than to climb on top and ride him into oblivion. But I know I can’t do that. Not tonight.
“What's wrong?” he asks breathlessly. “If this is about the other night, I’m not messing with you this time, Nora. I swear.” His eyes are hard and full of regret.
“It’s not that. It’s—”
“Just spit it out!” He’s getting pissed now. “Why are you looking at me like that? I’m not forcing you to do anything you don’t want, but at least tell me what I fucking did wrong.” He rakes his fingers over his short hair, his breath coming in pants.
“I fucked Jax!” I shout and then cover my mouth with my hands. I didn’t mean for it to come out that bluntly. “Shit, I’m sorry that was unnecessary…”
He’s off the chair in less than a second, stalking over to me with blazing eyes. “What the fuck do you mean, you fucked Jax?” His chest heaves. “Jax, as in your best friend? As in the mother fucker who sleeps in the room next to mine? That Jax?” His muscles are bunched and his hands are balled into fists at his sides. I’ve never seen Luca so angry in all the years I’ve known him. “If he took advantage of you, I’ll…”
I place my hands on his hard chest. “Nobody took advantage of me. Calm the hell down.”
He throws me a dubious glare.“How many times?” I take a step back. I’m not scared of him, but I feel so guilty I could melt into a puddle right here. “How many times, Nora!” he repeats.
“Once!” I shout defensively. How dare he act like I did something wrong? “It was one time, but you know what, Luca? It shouldn't matter! I’m not your girlfriend and I never was! You treat me like I’m nothing every single day and you expect me to be loyal to you for the rest of my life? To wait around for you?” His eyes narrow, pupils expanding until I can barely see a hint of his normal amber. “All those years, I watched you and River parade your girlfriends in front of me, Jax was the one who always told me to be patient. When I fell in love with you both at the same time, Jax was the first one to tell me I wasn’t some kind of freak! And all those nights I cried myself to sleep missing you, Jax was the one to hold me. Can you fucking blame me for catching feelings for somenone like that? Someone so amazing? Someone who actually gives a fucking shit about me?!”
“You were supposed to be mine!” he yells, and it’s like time slows to a stop. He looks over me, rage bruning in his brown eyes. “You were ours, and then you left, so he moved in on you like he always wanted to. Even when we were kids he was jealous of us. I should have known he’d use the first chance he got to steal you away…”
“Yours? I’m not an object, Luc. I’m not a thing you can own! Jax is my best friend and I love him with my whole heart and I won'teverlet you make me feel guilty about it. I don’t expect you to come back to me, but I’d hoped we could try and be civil eventually—hoped we could try and at least be friends.”
He barks a bitter laugh, eyes narrowed into slits. “Fuck your friendship. You and I were never just friends and I think you know that, and I’m not sharing you with an outsider.”
I rake an agitated hand through my messy hair and groan in frustration. “Oh, give me a break! Do you hear yourself? You realize I’ve known him since I was nine, right? It’s not like he’s some stranger off the street, Luca!”
“Like I give a shit,” he mutters. “He wanted you then, and he wants you now.”
“Well, at least someone does!” I snap. Shaking my head in defeat. “I was stupid to think this would end any other way. Maybe wearebetter off hating each other.”
He stills. “Maybe you’re right.”
We stand there for a few seconds longer, glaring holes into each other’s foreheads until I can’t take it anymore. I need to get away from those knowing eyes of his. If I don’t leave right now, he’ll know how close to breaking I really am.
Turning for the door, I pause at the threshold. “I love you, Luca, but you’re a fucking prick.” We hold each other's eyes until I can’t take the tension, so I turn away, heading for the door.
“Nora,” he says. It’s so quiet that I stumble on my next step, not sure if I actually heard him, or if I just wanted to hear him. I pause, and he says it again, so I turn to face him, keeping my face a blank mask. He stands there by the railing, looking defeated, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand. “Don’t leave…”
I blink at him, at a loss for words. One second, he was a ball of rage and suddenly, it’s like he lost all of his steam. When our eyes meet, I see a flash of regret, and it makes me soften slightly, but I don’t take a step towards him. Not yet.
“This is coming out all wrong,” he says in frustration. “Look, can we just reset? It felt good to talk to you and that kiss…” He licks his lips before rubbing his mouth as if he can still physically feel it. “I let it get to my head and I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to go.” He glances away, roughly placing his forearms over the railing and leaning against it as he lowers his head.
Something inside of me breaks then. Maybe it’s his words or maybe it’s the defeated look in his eyes, but something compels me to go to him. Not to continue what we’d almost started, but because I need to be next to him. I need him to know that I’m not here to leave again.
I make my way toward him slowly, and he tenses, hearing my approach. The wind picks up and chills my skin as I lean next to him, looking out at the dark waves as they break into white foam at the shore. I shiver, and the next thing I know, a sweater is being draped around my shoulders. It smells like I remember, and I can’t help but pull it tighter around me and settle in.
We stand there for a while. Maybe close to an hour in total silence, content to just share this moment together. To have a night where there’s some peace between us and not the visceral hatred that's had us on our toes.
