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I snap my gaze back to River only to find he’s still watching me—too closely for this to be anything casual. “Riv, don’t do it like this. I know I fucked up, but can we just go somewhere and talk?” I plead with him, hoping that a little bit of my River is still left inside this new man in front of me.
For just the smallest of moments, something in his green eyes flickers, but that thick shield falls back into place the second his bitch squeezes his shoulder and clears her throat. Her eyes cut into mine and she looks so fucking smug. I have no ground to stand on here. Honestly, I know I don’t deserve him to hear me out. I don’t deserve anything from him, no matter how painfully my heart squeezes in my chest. No matter how much I have to restrain myself from flinging myself into those toned arms that used to be so familiar and comforting to me.
“Hey, Casey,” a voice cuts through the tension in the room. A hand lands on my shoulder and I turn to find Kennedy standing next to me, but her glare is locked on River’s girlfriend. “You bothering my friend?” Her protectiveness warms me just a little. I barely know the girl, but I think I’m right in assuming she’s one of those ‘ride or die’ type friends.
Thin Lips scoffs. “I don’t even know who this idiot is. C’mon, River, I’m already bored.”
He hesitates only a moment before the chiming of the bell at the door catches his attention and mine, too. Sunlight glares through the glass window as the setting sun begins to disappear over the rolling hillside, but all I can see are a pair of dark-brown eyes that latch onto me and only me when he steps into the room.
You know those cringey moments in teen movies where sound stops, time slows down, and the wind blows through your crush’s hair as they enter the room? Well, none of that bullshit happens here. Luca takes one look at me and turns on his heel, slamming the door behind him before disappearing down the street.
River turns to smirk at me. “Looks like Luc has the right idea. This place stinks like trash,” he sneers before winding a muscular arm around Thin Lips’s waist. “Don’t bother groveling, Nora. You lost your chance to explain yourself a long time ago, and I’m not interested in excuses.” He stares down at me, a strand of his shoulder-length, sandy-blond hair falling in front of his face. He still has a smattering of sun-kissed freckles across his face, but his eyes are harder and meaner than before.
When I don’t respond, River drags his girlfriend away from me and out the door as I stand there with my mouth slightly parted. This day went from bad, to pretty good, to awesome, and circled right back around to disaster.
Kennedy shakes my shoulder, snapping me out of my daze. “Let's get some food in you while you fill me in on what the hell that was.” She steers me over to the table she’d been sitting at and I take a seat across from her. She pushes a drink in front of me. “Alright, spill. How do you know River and Casey?”
Groaning, I rub the heels of my hands into my eye sockets, trying my best to keep the tears at bay. I’m not usually a crier. In fact, I think I’m so used to the feeling of sadness that crying isn’t even an outlet for my grief anymore. I happen to be one of those angry criers. I cry out of frustration and it pisses me off every time. Kennedy’s face wears a look of pity and I hate it.
“Riv and I go way back.” I sigh deeply and sit back in my chair. “Like...yearsback. We were best friends once, but I fucked it all up and now he hates me.”
Kennedy’s eyes widen just a little. “Wow, I thought he only had one friend...realfriend, anyway. He’s not exactly a social dude,” she muses as she crunches into a crispy french fry.
I smile wistfully. “Yeah, he’s always been like that, but they both took me under their wings back when we were kids. I used to visit this place every summer with the family my mom worked for, so the only time I ever saw them was three months out of the year.”
“Are you telling me you hung out with Luca, too?” She sounds skeptical. “That guy’s a walking emotional red flag. There were so many girls in college that chased after him, but I swear it’s like he’s made of stone or something.”
“Once upon a time I did, yeah.” Hanging out might have been the grossest understatement of the century. That last week here on the beach all those years ago we’d done a whole lot more than just hang out.
Kennedy bites her lip, looking guilty. I know she wants to pry but is too afraid to just ask. I throw her a bone and just spill it. I need someone in my corner, even if I really don’t deserve it. “Seven years ago, my mom followed the Pembrokes to NYC and I pretty much bailed. I never came back to say goodbye. I had this whole goodbye speech planned out, and I literally showed up at Luca’s house before we left, but…” I glance down, stirring my straw in my drink as I swallow the lump in my throat. Kennedy touches my hand, encouraging me to continue. “They were sitting out on the deck with one of their surfing buddies, and I overheard something I shouldn't have.”
“Were they talking shit? Men can be trash, hun.”
I smile indulgently. “I suppose. But it just didn’t make any sense. The last words I heard out of Luca’s mouth were, “I wouldn’t fuck her if you paid me. When she leaves, it’ll make my life easier because I won't have to embarrass her when she begs.” I repeat the words I’ve replayed in my head hundreds of times since then…since the morning after our night together. The pain of those words is still as sharp and cutting as ever.
“Shit,” she breathes before taking a long drink of her soda. “What a fucking asshole. I assume you guys hooked up?”
A laugh bursts from my mouth before I can help it. “Shit’s right, and that's not even the worst of it. Wedidhook up, and I realized it was a mistake after what he told River. He never cared about me the same way I cared about him. I mentally ripped up my stupid speech and ran back to the beach house. We left the next morning and…well, here I am seven years later and both River and Luca, apparently, hate me.” Taking a sip of my drink, I smiled reluctantly. “You want to know the absolute kicker?”
“Ooh, this sounds juicy.” She scoots in closer, looking way too eager and I just roll my eyes.
“I’m really glad you’re getting a kick out of my misery.”
She has the audacity to scoff. “Hey, I’m on Team Nora one hundred percent, but drama like this just doesn’t happen in this boring-ass town. You sweep in here and life becomes a soap opera all of a sudden. Can't blame a girl for busting out the popcorn.”
I lower my forehead to the table top but inside, I’m trying not to laugh. She’s completely right. Iamdrama. I don’t want to be this way, but coming back here was bound to ruffle a few feathers.
With my face toward the table I say, “Now I don’t even wanna say it…”
“Okay, mopey, here's the plan.” Kennedy claps her hands together, rubbing them deviously as I lift my face up to squint at her. “Ugh, girl, you’re a mess,” she grumbles, reaching out to peel half a french fry off of my forehead. She flicks it on a napkin and steeples her hands beneath her chin. “We need to sort this out for you. What are your plans this weekend?”
Tilting my head to the side, I pretend to ponder. “I’m not really a...plankind of gal.”
She chuckles. “Clearly.” Grasping my fingers in her hand, she squeezes lightly. “Nora, I know we just met and all, but I can tell you’re cool. I don’t have a lot of friends here, and I think we could vibe. I can tell you’re hurting, and I hate that. Besides, I'm bored, so let me be your bad influence.”
“How could you possibly help me? They have every reason to hate my ass. I did this, not them. You don’t understand… I should have at least confronted them. I should have made sure that what I heard was what I heard. I just left and blocked their numbers and cut contact. Who the hell does that after what Luca and I did? If I was a guy and I did that to some girl, I’d be a monster.” I feel like shit just talking about it. Despite what he’d said that morning, I have this nagging inside of me that insists I’d heard him all wrong.
She just twirls her french-fry-holding hand in the air. “Okay, so you made a mistake…maybe. You don’t even know if you actually made a mistake. But even if you did, you shouldn’t have to pay for it the rest of your life. They’re big boys. It’s time for them to change their diapers and get over it already.”
